‘South Park’s’ 9 Funniest Premiere Episodes

Thursday, October 6 by

Season 10, Episode 1 – “The Return of Chef”

Long story, short. Scientologist Isaac Hayes got offended when South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone took aim at his religion. So he quit the series, seemingly putting an end to the character Chef. Or so he thought. Parker and Stone pasted together pre-recorded audio from past episodes, bringing Chef back as a brainwashed child molester. He eventually falls when the bridge he’s standing on is struck by lightning, causing him to impale himself upon landing. He is then attacked by a mountain lion, shot in the heart and head, eaten by a grizzly bear, and skinned before being disemboweled. Then he craps his pants.

Isaac Hayes himself died shortly after in a much less harsh way.

Season 3, Episode 10 – “Chinpokomon”

Much like every child in America, the kids on South Park became enraptured by the Pokemon-like craze. It turns out they weren’t just caught up in the merchandising phenom, they were actually hypnotized via subliminal images from the Japanese to Kamikaze bomb the United States. They would have gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for us quick-thinking Americans and our very large penises. Some might even say they’re dinosauric, even.

Season 12, Episode 1 – “Tonsil Trouble”

When Cartman accidentally contracts HIV, he passes it on to Kyle. This leads the boys on a hunt for the cure that ends at Magic Johnson’s house. Are we sure this is one of the funniest premiere episodes? We’re not just sure. We’re HIV-positive.

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