It's a rare thing when a woman can appeal to both your brain and your boner. But through a blend of sexiness, quirk, smarts, and style, the following women have ingratiated themselves to our best and worst intentions. Keep up the good work, ladies.
Not every commercial can come from the typewriter of Darren Stevens or the desk of Don Draper. Here is a cluster of shoddily made local commercials. I urge you, DO NOT get up for a beer. Do not even get up to piss. Just sit back and enjoy these words from the sponsors.
Where the crap is Joaquin still getting all these Quaaludes from? I've been told by dealer after dealer that the world ran out in 1978. One positive benefit to being a mega star in Hollywood is that you can get access to such awesome drugs and then when you're high enough you can announce to the world that you're going to become a rapper. One really bad part about Hollywood is that you can get access to so many crazy drugs and when you're high enough you can make the terrible mistake of deciding to pursue a rap career. To honor that land of unlimited substances and possibilities, and to continue our ongoing coverage of Joaquin Rappergate, here is a video list of some of his craziest moments. Wonderboying
I've always wondered where all that stuff goes.
In 1996 RDJ was arrested in LA for possession of 97 different types of drugs and a handgun. The cops nailed him driving down Sunset, totally hammered, and totally naked. The man has done 16 months in jail and plenty of time in rehab. In 1999 he told a judge “It’s like I have a loaded gun in my mouth and my finger’s on the trigger, and I like the taste of the gunmetal.” It is because of quotes like that and his incredible ability as an actor that we think he's the shit. In celebration of his recent comeback here is a look at some of the craziest Robert Downey Jr. moments.
Will Smith, Mark Wahlberg and Queen Latifah are just a few of the rappers who have spun gold records into box office gold. But what about those emcees that haven’t had the same opportunities? Here are a few hip-hop stars that never made the leap to the silver screen and the roles that they were born to play.
POPULAR SCREENJUNKIES:7 TV Shows We Would Like To See5 Perfect Flicks For Steven Seagal TV Cereals We Would Like To See 13 Craziest Gary Busey Moments Top 28 Films Of 2008 In Order of Sexy Michael Bay's Amazon Wish List If Variety Told The Truth
We here at Screenjunkies know a thing or two about the old television set. Here is one of our lists of shows that should immediately be made.1. Anaconda NannyTagline: "The life of a parent can be so constricting." Plot Synopsis: Five gigantic Amazonian snakes compete to see which one can raise a 2 year old. Which child will get into the best preschool? Which one will learn to read first? Which one will be devoured before the opening credits of the pilot? 2. Supreme CourtTagline: "Posession is 9-10ths of the game."Plot Synopsis: Esteemed members of the United States Supreme Court compete in hard core 3-on-3 elbow-throwing streetball. All fouls are voted on and require a five-ninths majority vote to be sustained.
Having squared-off against Rastafarians, thugs and vampires, Steven Seagal will leave no ass unkicked. No windpipe uncrushed. No face not hit with a pool cue. Here are five potential films for the strong man to headline.
From: HOLY TACO. Although their list from last year went 0-8, I'm pretty sure that at least two of these five will not live to see the sun rise on 2010. Which sucks, because that's when the future officially starts. Click the image for the post.
If you're anything like me, you treated the Friday after christmas like a holiday. And by holiday, I mean that you filled a kiddie pool with Coors Light and floated around on an acoustic guitar wearing nothing but cowboy boots and aviator sunglasses. So that means that you might have to spend a bit of time this week returning some gifts. But it's almost 2009 (which is when the future gets here), so why return them when you can just regift? If some of those gifts happen to be DVDs from your family who barely know you but think they do, then here's a handy list of who to give them to. Again. Step Brothers
FROM: Our comrades at Holy Taco. "Some movies are super awesome when you've smoked a lot of pot. Now, I'm sure you have your own list, but this is ours."Check out the full story here.
Every year the airwaves are filled with the holiday joy of everyone's favorite Christmas time classics. Not much is said though of the other movies that also take place during Christmas. For the forgotten and unrecognized holiday movies that have brought countless hours of entertainment during this special time of the year we give you the best 11 Non-Traditional Christmas movies. 11. Silent Night, Deadly Night
It's that time of year when people run out of original ideas and just start ranking things. And since EVERYBODY is doing it, far be it from The Junkies to miss the opportunity. But instead of looking at film in terms of directorial achievement, incredible writing, vision and execution we thought it best to order them according to their usage of hot women. Let's be honest. Plot just ain't everything. Enjoy.
Jeff Goldblum is a weird dude. He has spent the last quarter-century playing a weird dude onscreen. At some point in his adolescence, he looked in the mirror had the realization that there was a real niche in being Hollywood’s preeminent Vulcan Gigolo Scientist/Christopher Walken soundalike who ends every other sentence on an existential question. Before Goldblum gets too serious in 2009’s Adam Resurrected, let’s take a look at a few of his quirkiest moments.
GOLDBLUM SUPPLEMENT Demanding A Refund (“Run Ronnie Run”) Cults prey on normal, impressionable people and turn to obedient weirdos. Jeff Goldblum is strange enough. Why by the cow when you can get the sex for free? Schooling Video Game Geeks Beating a video game feels pretty damn good – for about 30 seconds.
THE SCIENCE OF WEIRD 10 Weird Jeff Goldblum Moments Jeff Goldblum is a weird dude. He has spent the last quarter-century playing a weird dude onscreen. At some point in his adolescence, he looked in the mirror had the realization that there was a real niche in being Hollywood’s preeminent Vulcan Gigolo Scientist/Christopher Walken soundalike who ends ever sentence on a question mark. He is in ton of supernatural movies probably because he looks, well, supernatural. Before Goldblum gets too serious in 2009’s Adam Resurrected, let’s take a look at a few of his quirkiest moments. Weirdo. Endorsing A Snack From the mind of Seth MacFarlane, Jeff Goldblum’s Wafers are not too forward, mildly flavored, and suggestive.
We just got this exclusive poster from Michael Bay's forthcoming Golden Girls IMAX juggernaut. We cant WAIT to see it!Thanks to @syncsound for the title. BOOM.
We all have them: Our favorite worst movies. Whether due to poor acting, writing, production value or all of the above, there are some gorgeously entertaining cinematic turds that we just can’t flush out of our hearts. Here are some of the most awfulsome movies ever made. 11. Double Team
I recently had the honor of sitting down with rising television star Brea Grant in a secluded location on the outskirts of Los Angeles. Our extensive conversation spanned many topics, including Tex Mex food, shoveling elephant poop, and some of those inherent characteristics that make us all human, such as being disgusted by elephant poop.
Being a child actor isn’t easy. Strange women put makeup on you while stranger men with cameras have you read the line “Uh-oh… don’t tell Daaaaadd” 130 times until you get it PERFECT. While other kids are struggling with public school and the realities of being 9, you’re driving a Hummer-mini, taking scotch-fueled showers with call girls, and spending six figures at the FAO Schwatz blow counter.
To the dearly departed, we are gathered here today to bid farewell to on-screen corpses. They taught us a bunch. As you slowly progress through the 5 stages of grief, Screenjunkies is here with more wisdom than the drunk guy at the wake's open bar. So please join us as we find out what these big screen bodies can teach us about the healing process.
Even the most famous of famous people want presents. Here's a screengrab of a few things that power director Michael Bay would like to have. I'm probably going to get him the 366 Turducken.
Beer and TV go together like hookers and blow. And since both of those are illegal AND expensive, why don't you just crack open a cold one and stroll through 8 of TV's best screen-licking brews. PAWTUCKET PATRIOT ALE
Watching the Pre-Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Broadway Dancetacular, something occurred to me. If you take the amount of musical theatre performers in the US, multiply it by their salary, add that to whatever production costs that are involved, and divide that by the total number of Gays and Old People in the US, the numbers just don’t work out. Musical theatre, like parades with giant balloons, are absurd american traditions. So in line with this idea, here are a few of the more absurd moments from the most recent Macy's Thanksgiving Parade, in pictures. Some of them involve dancing.
Frank Martin is a man of principles. His strict code of professional ethics and discipline help set the parameters for his total ass-kicking-ness. His stated rules are the following: never change the deal, no names, never open the package, and never make a promise you can't keep.
It was probably close to three in the morning in your living room. You were six sodas deep with the volume turned way down on the set, anxiously awaiting some practical knowledge regarding the mysterious act of sex. From the scenes that put wisdom in your brain and a strain in your shorts, these were the moments that taught you more about getting laid than anything else. Here are some of the lessons you learned.
On June 15, 1949 a baby boy who would become a successful and talented comedic actor was born. His name was Jim Varney. Five years later, a boy who would spend a lengthy career confounding audiences worldwide was birthed in Chicago. His name was Jim too.
We can only imagine that it's a great deal of pressure to deliver the news to the masses, all while dressed like your clothing and make-up came out of some time capsule that was put together by the wardrobe people on Designing Women. We can imagine that's rough, for sure.