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Michael Bay’s Amazon Wish List
Wednesday, December 3 by

Even the most famous of famous people want presents. Here's a screengrab of a few things that power director Michael Bay would like to have. I'm probably going to get him the 366 Turducken.  

8 Most Famous TV Beers
Wednesday, December 3 by

Beer and TV go together like hookers and blow. And since both of those are illegal AND expensive, why don't you just crack open a cold one and stroll through 8 of TV's best screen-licking brews. PAWTUCKET PATRIOT ALE

18 Absurdities of the Macy’s Parade
Monday, December 1 by

Watching the Pre-Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Broadway Dancetacular, something occurred to me. If you take the amount of musical theatre performers in the US, multiply it by their salary, add that to whatever production costs that are involved, and divide that by the total number of Gays and Old People in the US, the numbers just don’t work out. Musical theatre, like parades with giant balloons, are absurd american traditions. So in line with this idea, here are a few of the more absurd moments from the most recent Macy's Thanksgiving Parade, in pictures. Some of them involve dancing.

Frank Martin’s 8 Rules To Being Badass
Wednesday, November 26 by

Frank Martin is a man of principles. His strict code of professional ethics and discipline help set the parameters for his total ass-kicking-ness. His stated rules are the following: never change the deal, no names, never open the package, and never make a promise you can't keep.

12 Sex Lessons From Late Night Movies
Tuesday, November 25 by

 
It was probably close to three in the morning in your living room. You were six sodas deep with the volume turned way down on the set, anxiously awaiting some practical knowledge regarding the mysterious act of sex. From the scenes that put wisdom in your brain and a strain in your shorts, these were the moments that taught you more about getting laid than anything else. Here are some of the lessons you learned.
Porky's

Celebrating The Career Of Jim Belushi
Thursday, November 20 by

On June 15, 1949 a baby boy who would become a successful and talented comedic actor was born. His name was Jim Varney. Five years later, a boy who would spend a lengthy career confounding audiences worldwide was birthed in Chicago. His name was Jim too.

11 Crazy Local News Moments
Wednesday, November 19 by

We can only imagine that it's a great deal of pressure to deliver the news to the masses, all while dressed like your clothing and make-up came out of some time capsule that was put together by the wardrobe people on Designing Women. We can imagine that's rough, for sure.

10 Craziest Elisabeth Hasselbeck Moments
Friday, November 14 by

 

Joaquin Phoenix Op Ed
Thursday, November 13 by

The enigmatic Joaquin Phoenix clears up some common misconceptions about his recent decision to quit acting, as well as his career in general. 

Hollywood On Ebay: The Memory of Bernie Mac
Tuesday, November 11 by

Click image for the full version. In Hollywood, everything has a price. And here’s some more proof. Here’s a shot of one of their Ebay auctions. May Mr. Mac’s memory…

11 Nude Scenes We Didn’t Need To See
Monday, November 10 by

There is good-naked, like a beautiful woman brushing her hair. And there is bad-naked, like Wilfred Brimley in his birthday suit working a belt sander. Here are a few of the most important moments in cinema that have brought bad-naked to your precious little burning eyeballs. Enjoy.   

A Fanboy Rants: The Wachowski Brothers
Monday, November 10 by

Speed Racer is 2008’s biggest box office bomb so far, and as a result, many people have been quick to label it the worst film of the year. Some are even calling it the worst film of all time.  Similarly, we all know that the two Matrix sequels did nothing but disappoint fans.

Sexiest TV Babes Of The 80′s
Thursday, November 6 by

Whether you know it or not, your sexual preferences today are a byproduct of your childhood conditioning.  And if its one thing that conditioned all of us, it’s the TV. The 80s brought us blue-colored drink mix, unrealistic expectations for time-travel capability, and one of the tastiest range of sexy TV starlets in history.

10 Greatest George W. Bush Moments
Wednesday, November 5 by

Someday we’re going to look back at this and laugh. It’s a phrase uttered in times following tragedy and pain. But there’s a certain truthiness in it. If you were anything like me, you’re taking the whole Obama elected thing with the same type of guarded optimism that has come along with living in a world that’s seemed hell bent on destruction.

16 Bad Guys We’d Rather See Win
Thursday, October 30 by

Admit it. There are times in the back of your mind when you want the good guy to lose. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes the star is a just a gigantic wuss who deserves total failure. Here are some that we believe are worth mentioning.  16. Special Agent Starling vs. Hannibal Lecter  Eat people, listen to classical music, break out of prison. Repeat. And he killed the principal from Boston Public (everybody wanted to do it; he got there first). Special Agent Starling just ran around and tried to get people out of basement dungeons. Nice work, but there’s no money in it. Plus, I tried Chianti with fava beans. It’s pretty kick ass. 15. Llewelyn Moss vs. Anton ChigurhTry this just once for a job interview. Before you’re called into the office, just fire blast off the doorknob with a CO2 tank. Walk in slowly.

9 Most Bizarre Crispin Glover Moments
Wednesday, October 29 by

Crispin Glover has Craziest Moments written all over his incredibly distinctive face. He also seems like he lives his life as though everyday is Halloween. So who better to feature in this week’s list of bizarre moments? Nobody, that’s who.1. Kicking This one is a legendary appearance. All these years later it has become Youtube gold. The role of hallucinogens has still not been confirmed. But word on the street is that he might have ingested a sheet of acid in the greenroom.

13 Dead Actresses We Would Have Boned
Friday, October 24 by

Halloween is almost here. It is the time of year where we honor the memory of the dead and the things they have given us by dressing up like slutty pirates and asking our neighbors to give us snacks.

If Variety Told The Truth
Thursday, October 23 by

If Hollywood started telling the truth, utter chaos would ensue. Our already failing economy would be reduced to nothing. It would be the end of everything as we know it.

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13 Craziest Gary Busey Moments
Wednesday, October 22 by

Gary Busey is an enigma wrapped in a conundrum, elegantly paired with a fetching scarf of just-plain-batshit-crazy. Every morning, he dusts his balls with a talcum of nutjob powder. Then, he goes out into that big world of Hollywood and just starts blowing people's minds. Here are a few of our favorite Gary Busey moments.

13 Greatest Movie Quests For Tail
Friday, October 17 by

Since time immemorial, the Male Species has gone to heroic lengths in order to secure something as vital as air, food, water, and a good piece of tail.  For some, the quest has been of the mind and spirit. For others, it has taken them on a journey of immense distance and hardship.  Whatever the scenario, we salute such a valiant quest. Here are 13 of the best that show just how far some go to seal the deal.  

IMDB Is A Racist Computer
Thursday, October 16 by

IMDB sorts movies with plot-based keywords. Some of them are a little strange, like ‘Vomit Scene’ or ‘Stabbed in Throat’ or ‘Run Our of Gas.’  But this one has to be the best. Here’s a list of the movies that have the subheading 'The Black Guy Dies.'

13 Bizarre Cooking Show Moments
Tuesday, October 14 by

Cooking shows are boring. But cooking show screw-ups are totally AWESOME. There’s something about the interruption of such a sincere pursuit as teaching people how to make a meal that just gets me. It’s hard to beat Dan Aykroyd's spoof of Julia Child. But here are some of my favorite moments from cooking shows that demonstrate how weird it can get. Bon Apetit.

Contest: Fill the Bubble With Funny
Wednesday, October 8 by

Halloween is fast approaching, so for this week's contest I decided to use a grab from one of the most disturbing scenes in movie history: The ending of Sleepaway Camp. So, REGISTER AN ACCOUNT SO WE CAN CONTACT YOU then leave a comment with something hilarious to go in that bubble. If you're the king of LOL, you get a copy of Patholog on DVD.

This Week’s DVDs That Don’t Suck: 10/7/2008
Tuesday, October 7 by

I have been working my way through the Godfather DVDs that were released a couple weeks ago and it's blowing my mind. It's amazing how good those movies…well, the first two movies are especially after Coppola got back in there and tweaked the look. Nothing quite that epic this week, but still a really solid week to blow your paycheck on movie discs.

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Tuesday, October 7 by
UPDATED: Did Fake Michael Bay Get Busted?
Tuesday, October 7 by

We’ve all been getting a serious giggle out of Fake Michael Bay’s Twitter feed since it exploded on the interwebs late last week. But it looks like the jig may be up. We were sent this letter by a party which shall remain anonymous.

BREAKING NEWS: Bollywood On Strike!
Wednesday, October 1 by

Well folks, it looks like our brethren to the South East have run out of time on contract negotiations between allied Bollywood Unions and the Association of Motion Picture & TV Program Producers. Cameramen all across the subcontinent have put down their VHS camcorders and refused to return until demands are met.

11 Craziest Madonna Moments
Wednesday, October 1 by

I guess being married to Guy Ritchie gave her more than a faux English accent. Because the Queen of Pop has a new movie coming out called Fith and Wisdom. It’s her directorial debut and focuses on the sexy life of a Gypsy Punker and his cohorts.

This Week’s DVDs That Don’t Suck: 9/30/08
Tuesday, September 30 by

There is so much good TV kicking around at the moment that it's hard to find time to watch it and the new DVDs without becoming a total hermit, but that shouldn't stop us from trying to figure it out. This week, Marvel's surprise hit of the summer is in the lead by a longshot. Iron Man: Two Disc Special Collector's Edition

The Presidential Debate Drinking Game
Friday, September 26 by

It's Friday night, which means the only thing on TV is going to be the presidential debate. But, rather than watching the whole thing and getting depressed, why not use it as an excuse to get totally hammered? Follow these simple rules and by the end of the debate, you'll be totally convinced that these knuckleheads know what they're doing. Or you'll be passed out. Either way, you win.