Having squared-off against Rastafarians, thugs and vampires, Steven Seagal will leave no ass unkicked. No windpipe uncrushed. No face not hit with a pool cue. Here are five potential films for the strong man to headline.
From: HOLY TACO. Although their list from last year went 0-8, I'm pretty sure that at least two of these five will not live to see the sun rise on 2010. Which sucks, because that's when the future officially starts. Click the image for the post.
If you're anything like me, you treated the Friday after christmas like a holiday. And by holiday, I mean that you filled a kiddie pool with Coors Light and floated around on an acoustic guitar wearing nothing but cowboy boots and aviator sunglasses. So that means that you might have to spend a bit of time this week returning some gifts. But it's almost 2009 (which is when the future gets here), so why return them when you can just regift? If some of those gifts happen to be DVDs from your family who barely know you but think they do, then here's a handy list of who to give them to. Again. Step Brothers
FROM: Our comrades at Holy Taco. "Some movies are super awesome when you've smoked a lot of pot. Now, I'm sure you have your own list, but this is ours."Check out the full story here.
Every year the airwaves are filled with the holiday joy of everyone's favorite Christmas time classics. Not much is said though of the other movies that also take place during Christmas. For the forgotten and unrecognized holiday movies that have brought countless hours of entertainment during this special time of the year we give you the best 11 Non-Traditional Christmas movies. 11. Silent Night, Deadly Night
It's that time of year when people run out of original ideas and just start ranking things. And since EVERYBODY is doing it, far be it from The Junkies to miss the opportunity. But instead of looking at film in terms of directorial achievement, incredible writing, vision and execution we thought it best to order them according to their usage of hot women. Let's be honest. Plot just ain't everything. Enjoy.
Jeff Goldblum is a weird dude. He has spent the last quarter-century playing a weird dude onscreen. At some point in his adolescence, he looked in the mirror had the realization that there was a real niche in being Hollywood’s preeminent Vulcan Gigolo Scientist/Christopher Walken soundalike who ends every other sentence on an existential question. Before Goldblum gets too serious in 2009’s Adam Resurrected, let’s take a look at a few of his quirkiest moments.
GOLDBLUM SUPPLEMENT Demanding A Refund (“Run Ronnie Run”) Cults prey on normal, impressionable people and turn to obedient weirdos. Jeff Goldblum is strange enough. Why by the cow when you can get the sex for free? Schooling Video Game Geeks Beating a video game feels pretty damn good – for about 30 seconds.
THE SCIENCE OF WEIRD 10 Weird Jeff Goldblum Moments Jeff Goldblum is a weird dude. He has spent the last quarter-century playing a weird dude onscreen. At some point in his adolescence, he looked in the mirror had the realization that there was a real niche in being Hollywood’s preeminent Vulcan Gigolo Scientist/Christopher Walken soundalike who ends ever sentence on a question mark. He is in ton of supernatural movies probably because he looks, well, supernatural. Before Goldblum gets too serious in 2009’s Adam Resurrected, let’s take a look at a few of his quirkiest moments. Weirdo. Endorsing A Snack From the mind of Seth MacFarlane, Jeff Goldblum’s Wafers are not too forward, mildly flavored, and suggestive.
We just got this exclusive poster from Michael Bay's forthcoming Golden Girls IMAX juggernaut. We cant WAIT to see it!Thanks to @syncsound for the title. BOOM.
We all have them: Our favorite worst movies. Whether due to poor acting, writing, production value or all of the above, there are some gorgeously entertaining cinematic turds that we just can’t flush out of our hearts. Here are some of the most awfulsome movies ever made. 11. Double Team
I recently had the honor of sitting down with rising television star Brea Grant in a secluded location on the outskirts of Los Angeles. Our extensive conversation spanned many topics, including Tex Mex food, shoveling elephant poop, and some of those inherent characteristics that make us all human, such as being disgusted by elephant poop.
Being a child actor isn’t easy. Strange women put makeup on you while stranger men with cameras have you read the line “Uh-oh… don’t tell Daaaaadd” 130 times until you get it PERFECT. While other kids are struggling with public school and the realities of being 9, you’re driving a Hummer-mini, taking scotch-fueled showers with call girls, and spending six figures at the FAO Schwatz blow counter.
To the dearly departed, we are gathered here today to bid farewell to on-screen corpses. They taught us a bunch. As you slowly progress through the 5 stages of grief, Screenjunkies is here with more wisdom than the drunk guy at the wake's open bar. So please join us as we find out what these big screen bodies can teach us about the healing process.
Even the most famous of famous people want presents. Here's a screengrab of a few things that power director Michael Bay would like to have. I'm probably going to get him the 366 Turducken.
Beer and TV go together like hookers and blow. And since both of those are illegal AND expensive, why don't you just crack open a cold one and stroll through 8 of TV's best screen-licking brews. PAWTUCKET PATRIOT ALE
Watching the Pre-Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Broadway Dancetacular, something occurred to me. If you take the amount of musical theatre performers in the US, multiply it by their salary, add that to whatever production costs that are involved, and divide that by the total number of Gays and Old People in the US, the numbers just don’t work out. Musical theatre, like parades with giant balloons, are absurd american traditions. So in line with this idea, here are a few of the more absurd moments from the most recent Macy's Thanksgiving Parade, in pictures. Some of them involve dancing.
Frank Martin is a man of principles. His strict code of professional ethics and discipline help set the parameters for his total ass-kicking-ness. His stated rules are the following: never change the deal, no names, never open the package, and never make a promise you can't keep.
It was probably close to three in the morning in your living room. You were six sodas deep with the volume turned way down on the set, anxiously awaiting some practical knowledge regarding the mysterious act of sex. From the scenes that put wisdom in your brain and a strain in your shorts, these were the moments that taught you more about getting laid than anything else. Here are some of the lessons you learned.
On June 15, 1949 a baby boy who would become a successful and talented comedic actor was born. His name was Jim Varney. Five years later, a boy who would spend a lengthy career confounding audiences worldwide was birthed in Chicago. His name was Jim too.
We can only imagine that it's a great deal of pressure to deliver the news to the masses, all while dressed like your clothing and make-up came out of some time capsule that was put together by the wardrobe people on Designing Women. We can imagine that's rough, for sure.
The enigmatic Joaquin Phoenix clears up some common misconceptions about his recent decision to quit acting, as well as his career in general.
Click image for the full version. In Hollywood, everything has a price. And here’s some more proof. Here’s a shot of one of their Ebay auctions. May Mr. Mac’s memory…
There is good-naked, like a beautiful woman brushing her hair. And there is bad-naked, like Wilfred Brimley in his birthday suit working a belt sander. Here are a few of the most important moments in cinema that have brought bad-naked to your precious little burning eyeballs. Enjoy.
Speed Racer is 2008’s biggest box office bomb so far, and as a result, many people have been quick to label it the worst film of the year. Some are even calling it the worst film of all time. Similarly, we all know that the two Matrix sequels did nothing but disappoint fans.
Whether you know it or not, your sexual preferences today are a byproduct of your childhood conditioning. And if its one thing that conditioned all of us, it’s the TV. The 80s brought us blue-colored drink mix, unrealistic expectations for time-travel capability, and one of the tastiest range of sexy TV starlets in history.
Someday we’re going to look back at this and laugh. It’s a phrase uttered in times following tragedy and pain. But there’s a certain truthiness in it. If you were anything like me, you’re taking the whole Obama elected thing with the same type of guarded optimism that has come along with living in a world that’s seemed hell bent on destruction.
Admit it. There are times in the back of your mind when you want the good guy to lose. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes the star is a just a gigantic wuss who deserves total failure. Here are some that we believe are worth mentioning. 16. Special Agent Starling vs. Hannibal Lecter Eat people, listen to classical music, break out of prison. Repeat. And he killed the principal from Boston Public (everybody wanted to do it; he got there first). Special Agent Starling just ran around and tried to get people out of basement dungeons. Nice work, but there’s no money in it. Plus, I tried Chianti with fava beans. It’s pretty kick ass. 15. Llewelyn Moss vs. Anton ChigurhTry this just once for a job interview. Before you’re called into the office, just fire blast off the doorknob with a CO2 tank. Walk in slowly.
Crispin Glover has Craziest Moments written all over his incredibly distinctive face. He also seems like he lives his life as though everyday is Halloween. So who better to feature in this week’s list of bizarre moments? Nobody, that’s who.1. Kicking This one is a legendary appearance. All these years later it has become Youtube gold. The role of hallucinogens has still not been confirmed. But word on the street is that he might have ingested a sheet of acid in the greenroom.