MICHAEL BAY WANTS TO GO ARTHOUSE

Friday, June 19 by

News hit the web yesterday that shook us to our very core. Michael Bay is quitting the explosions game in favor of smaller, divergent films. When the news hit, I dropped to my knees and blindly fired round upon round into the sky whilst screaming (killing four seagulls). As police loaded me into the back of a cruiser, I wondered how could this be? Why would he leave us?? That night in prison I wept.

Luckily, the director responded on his forum, "Love press how they spin. Never said it – just wanted a vacation is more to the point." In celebration of this good news, I have dropped to my knees and blindly fired round upon round into the sky whilst screaming. Oh, happy day!!

 

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Tony Scott will tell Sonny Barger’s story. (First Showing)

Zack Galifianakis in Bored to Death teaser. (The Playlist)

Fans chase Robert Pattinson into oncoming traffic. (Cinema Blend)

Let’s hope Unbreakable 2 doesn’t suck. (MTV)

Oldboy might not be butchered thanks to lawyers. (/Film)
 

 

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