Roman Numeral Fans Rejoice: ‘Star Wars Episode VII’ Is Happening

Tuesday, October 30 by
"I still have the rights to 'Howard the Duck', right?" 

Yesterday, if you would have told me that a Star Wars sequel was slated for 2015, I would have called you a liar and stabbed you in the throat (I really hate liars). But as it turns out, you would have been right, and I would have felt really, really bad about murdering you.

Disney has announced its acquisition of Lucasfilm Ltd. for $4.05 billion along with plans to produce Star Wars Episode VII for a 2015 release, followed by episodes VIII and IX. Besides the extraordinary payday, George Lucas, who will not be directing the next sequel, was motivated to sell in order to cement his legacy as the creative genius who created the Star Wars franchise rather than the jowly asshole who almost destroyed it.

It’s now time for me to pass Star Wars on to a new generation of filmmakers. I’ve always believed that Star Wars could live beyond me, and I thought it was important to set up the transition during my lifetime. I’m confident that with Lucasfilm under the leadership of Kathleen Kennedy, and having a new home within the Disney organization, Star Wars will certainly live on and flourish for many generations to come.

It’s easy to imagine this entire endeavor going horribly, horribly wrong, especially considering how the prequels turned out. But I’m somewhat optimistic. Disney did a fine job relaunching The Muppets last year, which is a good sign. And as of late, the biggest problem with the franchise (besides annoying fans like me) has been Lucas himself. Perhaps some new blood is just what Star Wars needs. Or maybe it will turn out like John Carter. Either way, now I have a reason not to kill myself for the next decade, and for that, I’m grateful.

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