ECONOMICALLY DOWNTURNED MORNING NEWS

Wednesday, April 8 by

Citing the turbulent economy, The Huffington Post reports that Nicolas Cage has been forced to sell one of his two castles.

Hold the phone…

 

Crazy-ass Nicolas Cage owns castles? Man, that’s like super-LARPing! In my mind’s eye he runs around the halls of that place pretending to be Count Chocula. And there’s no force on Earth that can convince me otherwise.
 

Hey look, more morning news!

Captain Kirk is horny. (MTV)

Eminem is Spock. (io9)

Optimal Prime is an asshole. (Holy Taco)

The Two Garys join Iron Man 2. (/film)

Michael Myers is letting his pores breathe. (Dread Central)

Tracy Morgan is profiting off psychosis. (TV Squad)

Gore Verbinski is over pirates. (Latino Review)

Kal Penn is boring. (Reuters)
 

 

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