7 TV Shows We Would Like To See

POSTED BY Max Powers | WEDNESDAY JANUARY 7 AT 9:50 PST 

We here at Screenjunkies know a thing or two about the old television set. Here is one of our lists of shows that should immediately be made.

1. Anaconda Nanny

Tagline: "The life of a parent can be so constricting."
Plot Synopsis: Five gigantic Amazonian snakes compete to see which one can raise a 2 year old. Which child will get into the best preschool? Which one will learn to read first? Which one will be devoured before the opening credits of the pilot? 

 

2. Supreme Court

Tagline: "Posession is 9-10ths of the game."
Plot Synopsis: Esteemed members of the United States Supreme Court compete in hard core 3-on-3 elbow-throwing streetball. All fouls are voted on and require a five-ninths majority vote to be sustained.


 
3. On The Rocks

Tagline: "Addiction is an uphill battle."
Plot Synopsis: Twenty alcoholic rock climbers are pitted against one another in an every-man-for-himself race to the top of K2. Caches of Coors Light and Maker's Mark are located every 300 vertical feet.


4. The One That Got Away

Tagline: "Crime pays if you are fast enough."
Plot Synopsis: Outakes from Cops and The Craziest Police Chases are compiled to show the times that the bad guy was just too fast, too smart, or just straight lucky. Emphasis will be placed on overweight cops who are unable to keep up with younger, fitter criminals.


5. The Easiest Catch

Tagline: "Like shooting fish in a barrel...literally."
Plot Synopsis: Grizzled, hardened Alaskan crabbers compete to see who can shoot the most fish at close range using a shotgun. The show is filmed in Hawaii and all contestants have 24-7 access to back rubs and moisturizer.


6. NASCAARP

Tagline: "Life in the fastlane was never so slow."
Plot Synopsis:  It's The National Association for Stock Car Autos And Retired Persons where drivers compete at speeds upwards of 35 miles per hour in an all out battle for the checkered flag. Frequent stops to urinate, unanticipated naps during tire changes, and subtle yet pervasive racism affect the outcome of each event.


7. Semi Colin

Tagline: "Shifting gears from the Pentagon to the open road."
Plot Synopsis: After a long and successful career as one of America's preeminent military servicemen, Colin Powell buys a big rig truck and hauls various agricultural products to the nation's neediest. Powered by amphetamines and diet soda, where will his travels take him?

By MAX POWERS and PHILLIP BUSTER

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these are...fantastic. I would totally love to see Supreme Court- that one is especially brilliant.
POSTED BY Anonymous | WEDNESDAY JANUARY 7 AT 10:49 PST 

SPONSORED BY SPECIAL SHOES!!!!!!! NASCAARP FTW!
POSTED BY Anonymous | WEDNESDAY JANUARY 7 AT 10:52 PST 

What about "CSI: Michael Bay"

POSTED BY Jim Connelly | WEDNESDAY JANUARY 7 AT 12:57 PST 

easiest catch is awesome!!!
POSTED BY Anonymous | WEDNESDAY JANUARY 7 AT 1:00 PST 

I have ALWAYS said that they need to make a Cops show where the dude gets away. It has to happen sometimes. Im sure they have plenty of footage of it. That would be the shit.
POSTED BY The Future Is Now | WEDNESDAY JANUARY 7 AT 2:22 PST 

Colin looks pretty hot in a trucker's hat. This is hilarious!
POSTED BY Anonymous | WEDNESDAY JANUARY 7 AT 9:50 PST 

What would the prize be for winning On the Rocks?

POSTED BY Steve Bennett | THURSDAY JANUARY 8 AT 9:32 PST 

NASCAARP would be a huge hit for PAX.
POSTED BY Wookie Johnson | THURSDAY JANUARY 8 AT 10:00 PST 

I wet myself watching Nascar all the time, now I don't need to be ashamed.
POSTED BY Anonymous | THURSDAY JANUARY 8 AT 10:11 PST 

How the fuck DARE you debase one of the single greatest Military minds in American History. I WAS a fan of your website, and I still think you are pretty funny (on a good day), but this is going too far. Why don't you just fucking quit ragging on America, you fucking sushi eating, hybrid driving, save the fucking Panda - kill Jesus, pansy fucking liberal. I knew this web-shite was a front for sneaky lefty anti-Americans, and you have just proved it. I was waiting for the day you would slip up, and now you are MINE. It is not ok to lull people into leftist sentiment by making them laugh. It's worse than cheating on your girlfriend with her sister. It's such a betrayal. YOU SUCK.
POSTED BY Anonymous | THURSDAY JANUARY 8 AT 10:19 PST 

Dude, you are so behind the game. "Supreme Court" is already in development at Warner Bros with Aaron Sorkin. Good luck competing with that.
POSTED BY Anonymous | THURSDAY JANUARY 8 AT 10:35 PST 

I own an Anaconda, and they are very misunderstood creatures. Just like pitbulls were originally bred as nanny dogs then had their size and love for humans exploited for the entertainment of men, Anacondas have an even and loving temperament, and will defend their owners against almost any threat. When my boyfriends chihuaua threatened my 18month old boy as he crawled towards her to play, my Anaconda thrust toward the dog, placing himself between my son and the attacking chihuaua, curling the length of his body around my son to protect him. I disciplined the dog, rewarded the anaconda, and spent some time removing my son from his protector, as when they protect, they mean it. The next day, we couldn't find the dog, and my boyfriend and I had a raging argument, but I wouldn't budge on my anaconda, he saved my babies life.
POSTED BY Anonymous | THURSDAY JANUARY 8 AT 10:49 PST 

god bless america
POSTED BY Anonymous | THURSDAY JANUARY 8 AT 12:12 PST 

I would like to see a show about God.after seeing websites like this, it is veery apparent we all need a little more God in our lives.
POSTED BY Anonymous | THURSDAY JANUARY 8 AT 12:18 PST 

i like The One that Got Away! That could ACTUALLY work as a show!!
POSTED BY Anonymous | THURSDAY JANUARY 22 AT 5:26 PST 

How about; "Show me the BailOut money!" where teams of irate americans tour the country looking for *ANY* evidence their faltering economy is being shored up by the banks they bailed out! OR "Kick a** my b*tch up yo b**ty!" where loud unintelligible presenters scream and shout at middle-class white kids who have no idea what the rules, point or prize of the show is! First to get an embolism or leave in a huff wins! OR "Little Brother" where midgets in a doll's house compete to be the most dull, unimaginative and boring contestant and are watched 24/7 using hidden cameras for signs of unnecessarily interesting character traits! Added tasks like suicide or cannibalism add to the thrill ride! ENJOY!
POSTED BY Anonymous | THURSDAY JANUARY 22 AT 7:24 PST 

These are awful. Just bad ideas based on puns. You wouldn't actually want to see any of these, would you? I mean, this is a joke... right? Please tell me this is a joke.
POSTED BY Anonymous | THURSDAY JANUARY 22 AT 9:47 PST 

After looking at the rest of this site I'm pretty sure that they are being completely serious. Of course these are a joke. With that said, I pray that someone will make "Easiest Catch."
POSTED BY Anonymous | THURSDAY JANUARY 22 AT 9:59 PST 

gotta love number 4! xD it'd have endeless hours of footage, so the potential is unlimited!!
POSTED BY Anonymous | THURSDAY JANUARY 22 AT 5:47 PST 

Extremely lame. Does somebody actually get paid to come up with these third grader ideas?
POSTED BY Anonymous | THURSDAY JANUARY 22 AT 6:26 PST 

I *LOVE* sites like this one! The above comments prove americans have no sense of humour unless there's a laugh track to give them a clue what to think. Brilliant.
POSTED BY Anonymous | FRIDAY JANUARY 23 AT 7:33 PST