It is with a heavy heart that I join the world in saying goodbye, Dear Leader. May your now superhuman existence carry you past the need for a mortal body, and may your glory continue to shine on People’s Glorious Repobulic of The Glory of North Korea. Glory.

The word in Koreatown is that Kim Jun Il will be succeeded by his son Lil’ Kim Kim Jung Un. May he be as batshit crazy as his father, creating a cult of personality that would make Ron Artest blush.


Lest you feel that Jung Il isn’t getting a fair shake in the media (who would really argue that?), compare him to these tyrannical depictions and see how he stacks up.

I heart dictators.

The Great Dictator – Adolf Hitler

It was probably a lot easier to satirize Hitler in 1940, when this film came out, than it was in 1945, when the full extent of his crimes was still being realized. Considering Adolf had, until recently, been held in high esteem by much of the world, Charlie Chaplin played a character named Adenoid Hynkel, dictator of Tomainia. Not exactly a mystery as to he was really portraying. Despite being very slapsticky-y (most of the names are groan-worthy puns you would find in dated children’s cartoon) the film skewers the dictator on a number of fronts, insisting that the man is a machine, as are his subjects.

Naked Gun – All Of Them

There doesn’t seem to be much rhyme or reason to the “dictators” that appear at the beginning of the original Naked Gun film. We have Qadaffi, the Ayatollah, Yasir Arafat, and…Mikhail Gorbechav? Perhaps I didn’t give enough weight to the cold war in the late 80’s. Oh well.

Frank Drebin, for reasons indeterminate and unimportant, simply beats up all of these leaders in an unspecified middle eastern location. And after that ass-whoopin’, we never again found any of those men in America. Nice work, Police Squad.

Inglorious Basterds – Adolf Hitler

Satire! Considering the entire film is about two disparate parties’ efforts to kill Hitler, it’s no surprise that we get some Hitler scenes here. As best I can tell, nothing in this film reflects reality, not least of which would be Hitler getting shot 900 times until his face explodes. But we can always dream, can’t we? His death aside, the portrayal of Hitler in Basterds appears to be fairly realistic, step for step with what we have seen in non-satirical fare like Downfall.

When he gets shot, though…awesome.

Team America: World Police – Kim Jung Il

Trey Parker and Matt Stone take things the other direction with their portrayal of the late Kim Jung Il in Team America: World Police. Kim is reduced to an Asian stereotype that can’t pronounce his “r”s from his “l”s. In fact, the directors seem hell-bent on depicting Jung Il as an Asian hybrid of Eric Cartman and Mr. Garrison.

Nuclear proliferation and starving his own people aside, I’m really going to miss the comedy fodder that Kim Jung Il provided. Mourn ya till I join ya, bro.

Hot Shots – Saddam Hussein

Well, I don’t find this to be a very accurate representation at all. Saddam Hussein didn’t have any bikini tan lines when I saw him taking his physical. I don’t think that they were going for realism in Hot Shots. I also was not able to find any evidence that he wore Yankees garb or DustBustered his own dick. Of course, that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Perhaps the Hot Shots: Part Deux scribes did much more research than I did. That would make sense.

South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut – Saddam Hussein

Many probably felt that Saddam was metaphorically in bed with the devil, but the South Park guys decided to take a more literal approach, suggesting that perhaps Saddam and the devil were gay together, Saddam was actually a top to the devil’s bottom, and that Saddam wore the pants in the relationship. Considering this film goes after censorship, our military-industrial complex, Canada, and racism, it's no wonder that they tossed in Saddam for good measure.

Again, no evidence to support these claims. I’m beginning to think that Stone and Parker pay little credence to historical accuracy in their portrayals, which is a shame, because my friends and I get about 90% of our news from South Park episodes. I bet they exaggerated that Barack Obama jewelry heist thing, too.

Keep calm and read on....

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