The 18 Most Absurd Movie Sex Scenes

POSTED BY Max Powers | THURSDAY AUGUST 14 AT 10:29 PDT 

There are plenty of movies out there that can pull off a beautiful love scene. But it takes a skilled filmmaker to make an attractive woman get it on with a talking space duck. All of these movies should make your own weird little sexual preferences seem a little less....illegal.

Ghost Busters

Dan Ackroid gets a BJ from a Ghost, and does not call her the next day. Come on dudes, you would do the EXACT same thing if hovering female protoplasm tingled your dingle. Plus, she wouldn't have digits.  

The Naked Gun: From the Files of the Police Squad

Full Body Condoms are basically as safe as it gets. Actually, they sort of break the rule, which is that one condom is better than two. Otherwise things are going to rub together (in a bad way) and rip. Just like a raincoat in a...shower of raincoats.

Bad Santa 

She's not going to sh%@ right for a week. The only thing worse than being told that there is no Santa is being told that there is a Santa, and he is Billy Bob Thorton and probably has five strains of Chlamydia. The "F--k me, Santa scene" isn't exactly normal, either.

Crash (1996)

Automobile accident fetishism at its very finest. Personally, car wrecks are not my thing. I dunno, maybe in the right situation with the right girl? Like a Ford Model and Chevy GTO? Still, probably not.

Teeth

Listen dudes, let's not even talk about this one. Lets talk about something completely different. The Lakers did ok this sea...AHHH HER VAGINA HAS TEETH! This is a horrible concept for a movie, and it's even more horrible that they made it. But they did.

 Howard the Duck

He's a duck, but also a lover, and George Lucas made this film. Even watching this as a child I was concerned that it existed. I was also concerned that instead of having the sex talk with me, my parents just showed me the scene pictured above and said "Do you get it? Great!"

The Lawnmower Man

Virtual reality sex is one reason why we should not look forward to the future. I guess that when this movie was made, the idea of doing it over the interweb still had some degree of fascination to it. Now cybersex is as routine as having lunch. Lunch on Craigslist. Lunch on Craigslist three times a day.

Crank 

Look both ways before boning in the middle of the street in Chinatown (NSFW). This movie was basically my life, scene for scene. Same story-- failing heart that can only be shocked back into functioning through guns, drugs, cars, and risky exhibitionist sex with beautiful women. Exactly like my life.

The Chase 

Anyone who has tried it knows that sex while driving is better in theory than practice. There is something really strange about this scene though. Particularly the way that they do the sky in the background. It's just not right.

A Clockwork Orange

High speed orgies always go better with Beethoven. This might be the only consensual sex in the entire movie. The rest is just ultra violence and time spent at the Milk Bar.

Last tango in Paris 

Go get the butter.  I know this movie is supposed to be a beautiful masterpiece, but I spend most the time watching it in a state of utter confusion. And butter? Really? They make better stuff than that. Like Crisco.

The Dreamers 

Yeah, I guess your brother can watch, but for the record that's kind of weird. Bertolucci's movies are sexy, and this one is a fine example. You want to see it because Eva Green makes your whole body hurt she's so pretty.

Team America: World Police 

One of the most awesome Cleveland Steamers given to a puppet EVER. I was wondering why this movie makes so many lists. And then it occurred to me that that was sort of the point when Parker and Stone wrote it-- to make every last part of it as absurd as possible. They succeeded, and the world of cinema is a better place for it.

Demolition Man 

Fluids are purified, screened, and transferred by authorized medical personnel only. This is the future of virtual sex. You sit in a room made to look like 1990 wearing a funny hat and do it without touching. Ah, can't WAIT.

Me and You and Everyone We Know 

))<===>((.  This movie might be a little indie for most peoples tastes. But this scene is really good, and inspired a nation of eternal back and forth-ers, who just might live in your building.

Harold and Maude

.

I don't care that this movie is a cult classic, this scene really made me feel bad-funny on my insides. I never saw this movie growing up, and probably for a good reason. My friends were always telling me how phenomenal it was. So I finally gave in. And you know what? It's weird, and that's about it. Who want's to watch a teenager make out with a grandma? Oh yeah, people using the internet.

Clerks  

"You had sex with a dead guy?" I loved this movie when it came out. It was not the first flick made about people doing nothing, but it was the first one that I saw. The only problem is that it inspired a generation of film-school-going jerks that thought they could make just as shitty films and have a career like Kevin Smith.

Eyes Wide shut

Yeah, totally, invite your sister...invite whoever. I can't post a clip of this here, although there are PLENTY on the 'You Tubes.' It has some nipple in it, so they just end up getting taken down. It also has some Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman in it. Those were the days.

Man, this is the funniest thing I have ever read in my entire life. I bet the author is VERY hansome.

POSTED BY Screen Junkies | TUESDAY JULY 29 AT 3:29 PDT 

Showgirls pool scene doesn't make the cut?
POSTED BY Anonymous | MONDAY AUGUST 11 AT 11:53 PDT 

I also bet the author knows how to spell handsome
POSTED BY Anonymous | MONDAY AUGUST 11 AT 1:13 PDT 

you missed the most absurd... john travolta in a boy in a bubble movie ,i guess he shoots his load inside the bubble .
POSTED BY Anonymous | TUESDAY AUGUST 12 AT 6:00 PDT 

The worst scene I have seen to this day is from the movie Dark Blue. The scene is between Michael Michelle and Scott Speedman. All I can say is that it looks like a wrestling match under the covers until it finally culminates with Mr. Speedman belly flopping while he orgasms. You can watch it a thousand times and it never resembles sex.
POSTED BY Anonymous | TUESDAY AUGUST 12 AT 11:11 PDT 

You forgot the best sex scene,,, in the movie Rambling Rose
POSTED BY Anonymous | WEDNESDAY AUGUST 13 AT 8:10 PDT 

))<===>(( forever
POSTED BY Anonymous | WEDNESDAY AUGUST 13 AT 8:43 PDT 

Blue Velvet? The sex scene with him nuzzling the velvet certain deserves a mention.
POSTED BY Anonymous | WEDNESDAY AUGUST 13 AT 11:31 PDT 

The Lawnmower Man scene is infact a scene from the movie called "The Minds Eye", entire thing is a test of virtual graphics, was actually pretty cool back in the day, but yeah that's what that scenes from
POSTED BY Anonymous | WEDNESDAY AUGUST 13 AT 1:59 PDT 

Um. Pink Flamingos should have about 5 postings on this alone.
POSTED BY Anonymous | WEDNESDAY AUGUST 13 AT 7:28 PDT 

Also, you should have added the sex scene from the movie "The Tall Guy", with Jeff Goldblum & Emma Thompson. Possibly the silliest and most bedroom-wrecking sex scene ever to hit commercial cinema!
POSTED BY Anonymous | THURSDAY AUGUST 14 AT 4:18 PDT 

yip yip
POSTED BY Anonymous | THURSDAY AUGUST 14 AT 6:16 PDT 

with the same poop. Forever. hahaha priceless.
POSTED BY Anonymous | THURSDAY AUGUST 14 AT 10:05 PDT 

Broke Back never made it?
POSTED BY Anonymous | SUNDAY AUGUST 17 AT 6:48 PDT 

Where is the rape scene from the french movie "Irrevesible"? The most disturbing and absurd scene i've ever seen !!
POSTED BY Anonymous | MONDAY AUGUST 18 AT 2:51 PDT 

One Word... DELIVERANCE!
POSTED BY Anonymous | TUESDAY AUGUST 19 AT 10:42 PDT 

Ok, just for the record, we did not make a list of the most absurd rape scenes. This is a family website. Now back to Nick Jr.

POSTED BY Max Powers | TUESDAY AUGUST 19 AT 5:19 PDT 

Clerks is a shitty film? You should be hanged!
POSTED BY Anonymous | THURSDAY OCTOBER 23 AT 2:31 PDT 

the cosmic fornication from the first star trek movie....where are they now Persis Khambatta
POSTED BY Anonymous | THURSDAY OCTOBER 23 AT 8:50 PDT 

Shark Attack 3:megaladon defintely has the funniest and most absurd sex scene with candles, in a shower and a great opening line "What do you say I... take you home and eat your p*ssy. " one of the funniest movies ever
POSTED BY Anonymous | THURSDAY OCTOBER 23 AT 9:53 PDT 

I've seen alot of these movies...but the one that stuck was "The Dreamers".That scene right there was like...It was so awkwardly erotic, but it made you feel dirty afterwards...*shivers* In the end I just felt like I needed to take a shower. The movie was really wierd...haven`t seen it for a while, but it felt like it was all about awkward eroticism...yet it never really was EROTIC. 

POSTED BY Anonymous | MONDAY NOVEMBER 24 AT 11:33 PST 

Why did the sex scene from "Shoot 'Em Up" make it? I mean, Clive Owen kills like 30 guys while never slipping out, and then finishes with the "Talk about shooting your load" line! Should've been #1 on this list
POSTED BY Anonymous | THURSDAY NOVEMBER 27 AT 3:01 PST 

um howard and beverly did not do anything but faux flrit with each other and bevery just kissed him good night they are realy just friends
POSTED BY Anonymous | SUNDAY DECEMBER 7 AT 11:45 PST 

Anyone seen Earth Girls Are Easy? Bizarre sex scene.
POSTED BY Anonymous | FRIDAY JANUARY 9 AT 1:39 PST 

THE TOXIC AVENGER ftw. Because clearly there is nothing more sexual than watching a 7-foot deformed dude have sex with a beautiful blonde.
POSTED BY Anonymous | THURSDAY JANUARY 22 AT 5:57 PST 

Can anyone send me the link where i can download hip hop music vedios free and also dance vedios
POSTED BY Anonymous | THURSDAY FEBRUARY 12 AT 4:25 PST 

During one of the sex 18+scenes
POSTED BY Anonymous | SATURDAY MARCH 28 AT 2:50 PDT 

Blake Edward's Skin Deep?!?!?! When John Ritter wears the glow in the dark rubber and hides in the closet when the ladies husband comes in surprising her with his own glow in the dark condom and all you see is two glowing dongs floating around a dark scene. Almost like a star wars lightsaber battle. F'n hilarious scene.
POSTED BY Anonymous | MONDAY MAY 11 AT 10:19 PDT 

I swear this article was authored by a /b/tard
POSTED BY Anonymous | TUESDAY MAY 12 AT 5:54 PDT 

nononono you missed the scene from "kids" where that asshole has sex with chloe sevigny's passed out body. oh man. most uncomfortable sex scene EVER.
POSTED BY Anonymous | MONDAY JUNE 22 AT 8:07 PDT 

...... The worst scene I have seen to this day is from the movie Dark Blue. The scene is between Michael Michelle and Scott Speedman. All I can say is that it looks like a wrestling match under the covers until it finally culminates with Mr. Speedman belly flopping while he orgasms. You can watch it a thousand times and it never resembles sex.
POSTED BY Anonymous | SUNDAY JUNE 28 AT 1:22 PDT 

fuck you mr
POSTED BY Anonymous | SUNDAY JUNE 28 AT 6:37 PDT 

I say Pulp Fiction Was odd, the two men Seem to be hitting the mob boss, but then you realize why ball gags were used. Plus the Eeny Meeny Miney Mo part would result in lynching since he dropped the n bomb
POSTED BY Anonymous | WEDNESDAY JULY 1 AT 6:40 PDT 

where i can find more sex scene. other than youtube which sucks
POSTED BY Anonymous | TUESDAY JULY 7 AT 12:36 PDT 

metecafe is a good one as long as look in the 18+ bit
POSTED BY Anonymous | THURSDAY JULY 30 AT 8:03 PDT 

i know well to which time watch themovies
POSTED BY Anonymous | WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 9 AT 3:25 PDT 

yeah Shoot 'Em Up should have made the list
POSTED BY Anonymous | WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 9 AT 9:29 PDT 

"Where's the carrot?" shower scene in Jack Frost anyone.....
POSTED BY Anonymous | WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 9 AT 2:14 PDT 

AMERICAN PSYCHO
POSTED BY Anonymous | THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 10 AT 6:57 PDT 

A History of Violence - Fuck scene on the stairs
POSTED BY Anonymous | THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 10 AT 10:05 PDT 

What about all those anonymous people on Redtube.com?
POSTED BY Anonymous | TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 29 AT 8:11 PDT 

history of violence
POSTED BY Anonymous | TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 29 AT 7:22 PDT 

in the book a clockwork orange its actually 2 10 year old girls that he brings home gets them drunk and has his way with both of them.
POSTED BY Anonymous | WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 30 AT 6:13 PDT 

I second the motion for Shoot'em up makeing the cut. Three words; Screwing and Fighting.
POSTED BY Anonymous | SATURDAY OCTOBER 17 AT 1:39 PDT 

ووووووووووووووووووووووو
POSTED BY Anonymous | SUNDAY OCTOBER 18 AT 6:05 PDT 

Shoot Em Up. Should have been on there, no question.
POSTED BY Anonymous | MONDAY OCTOBER 26 AT 3:18 PDT 

It is impossible to find a more absurd scene than the one from "I married a strange person".
POSTED BY Anonymous | FRIDAY OCTOBER 30 AT 7:46 PDT 

For the record, the high speed orgy in "A Clockwork Orange" was set to Rossini, not Beethoven.
POSTED BY Anonymous | FRIDAY OCTOBER 30 AT 8:12 PDT 

what no Color of Night with Bruce Willis and Jane March ??!!??!?!
POSTED BY Anonymous | SUNDAY NOVEMBER 1 AT 5:53 PST 

Bruno...the opening scenes with the Mexican guy.
POSTED BY Anonymous | THURSDAY NOVEMBER 5 AT 11:46 PST