17 Oscar Categories We Would Like To See

We firmly believe that the Oscars would benefit from adding a few wild-card categories every year. You know, mix it up. Keep it fresh. Here are a few possibilities, including  nominees. If you have more, post them in the comments section. And don't forget to download your ballot and follow our Oscar liveblog HERE starting 8pm eastern, 5pm pacific this Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. Sunday. 

Biggest Real Life Drug Addict (Past or Current) in a Major Motion Picture

• Mickey Rourke- The Wretler
  
• Robert Downey Jr- Iron Man
  
• Joaquin Phoenix- Everything He Has Ever Done
  
• Sean Penn- Milk

Biggest Cinematic Headache For Asian Tourism Board

• Tropic Thunder
  
• Rambo
  
• Gran Torino
  
• Kungfu Panda

Best Oscar According to Oscar The Grouch

• I, Dumpster Diver
  
• The Grapes Of Trash
  
• Green Fur
  
• Basura

Best Glamorization of Public Suicide

• The Wrestler- Mickey Rourke
  
• Slumdog Millionaire- The Brother In The Bathtub

Characters With Whom We Would Least Like to be Trapped in a Steam Sauna

• Philip Seymore Hoffman- Doubt
  
• Nixon- Frost Nixon
  
• Harvey Milk- Milk
  
• Old (young) Benjamin Button- Benjamin Button

Best Beating The Bejesus Out Of An Indian Street Kid

• Slumdog Millionaire
• Harold and Kumar Go To Guantanamo

Best Freaky CGI Old Man Baby

• Sarah Jessica Paker- Sex In The City
• Benjamin Button- Benjamin Button

Best Full Frontal

• Marissa Tomei- The Wrestler
• Ann Hathaway- Rachel Getting Married
• Philip Seymour Hoffman- Synecdoche

Best Product Placement (By Volume)

• Sex in the city- Diet Coke
• Gran Torino- Pabst Blue Ribbon
• Benjamin Button- Confederated Molasses Products Unlimited
• Dark Knight- Este Lauder

Best Portrayal of a Gay Man by a Straight Man

• Emil Hirsch- Milk
• Sean Penn- Milk
• James Franco- Milk
• Pierce Brosnan- Mama Mia

Best Portrayal of a Straight Man by a Gay Man

• Emil Hirsch- Speed Racer
• Tom Cruise- Valkyrie
• Robert Patinson- Twilight
• Wall-e- Wall-e

Best Elephant-In-The-Room Racist Performance

• Robert Downey Jr- Tropic Thunder
  
• The Game-Show Host Dude- Slumdog Millionaire
  
• Clint Eastwood- Gran Tornio
  
• Samuel L- Lakeview Terrace

Biggest Assault On Our Childhood Memories

• Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
• Star Wars: The Clone Wars
• Get Smart
• The X-Files: I want To Believe

Best Movie Highschoolers could not find on a map

• In Bruges
• Vicky Christina Bacrelona
• Australia
• Transsiberia

Best Prog-Rock-Band-Name-Sounding Movie Title

• Twilight
• Defiance
• Changeling
• JCVD

Best Grammatical Error in a Movie Title

• How She Move
  
• Step Up 2 the Streets
  
• The Wackness
  
• What Happens in Vegas