Well guys, it looks like we’re about to lose my home state to a storm that MSNBC’s sexy Contessa Brewer is calling “Unprecedented.” In a way I’m happy that a hard rain will finally come and wash all the filth off of Houston. But it’s also going to be sad to see the country of my youth given over to the Gods of the Sea. So here is a eulogy for Texas, by way of remembering some of the best movies that have been filmed on its mighty terra firma. So as the waters rise, sit back and enjoy the best of Texan Cinema.
There Will Be Blood In my humble opinion, this is one of the best movies ever made. Although it tells the story of California Oil Tycoon Edward L. Doheny, it was filmed in a town called Marfa in the Western corner of Texas. And what is a tribute to the Lone Star State without mention of the old Dinosaur Wine? Not a real tribute, that’s what.
No Country For Old Men
Miramax Films: No Country For Old Men – It’s a Mes – Watch more free videos This is a quintessential Texas movie involving a Lawman and an evil Mexican with a flop. It’s bloody, sparse, and has Josh Brolin. Like There Will Be Blood, it was also filmed in Marfa, Texas.
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
Dolly Parton is like 95 years old and still hot. I’m not ashamed to admit that. This movie tells the story of another Lawma fighting to save something of utmost importance: the local Cat House. Here’s a little trivia. It was directed by the guy that wrote Harold and Maude, Colin Higgins.
Dazed and Confused Never before has the pot-fueled Texa high school experience been so poignantly documented than in this movie. It’s a classic.
Office Space A lot of people might say that this could have taken place anywhere. But the truth is that Mike Judge is from Texas and very accurately recreated a crappy workplace in metro Dallas. Anyone that has lived this life will enjoy the movie just that much more. It’s on my top 20 of all time.
Primer Texas is filled with tons of crazy innovative, motivated geeks. They don’t get the same press as places like Silicon Valley, but they’re there. Anytime someone suggests that the state only has redneck iddiots and piss-poor presidents, I have one word: NASA.
Cloak And Dagger
This movie was my JAM as a kid. It was about videogames and parts of it were filmed on the Riverwalk, a super touristy part of San Antonio.
Hands on a Hard Body
Just watch this trailer and tell me you don’t want to see this doc. It’s about a car dealership that has a competition to see who can win a truck by holding their hand on it the longest. There are a ridiculous amount of amazing quotes.
Blood Simple It’s easy to forget that the Cohe Brothers have been making movies for like 30 years. This one is not exactly light hearted. But it is a great film, and takes place in Texas.
This one is a bit of a cult classic. Shot in Terlingua and Austin, it tells the story of two brothers who are reunited under strange circumstances. The soundtrack by Ry Cooder is really good. Watch it so you can sound smart.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Call me a puss, but I could only watch this movie in ten minute chunks. My friend Jarrett showed it to me in high school and I peed my pants a little bit. The movie practically smells like roadkill rotting on an abandoned stretch of oven hot highway. Don’t get high when you watch it if it’s your first time.
Varsity Blues Football is only second to church in Texas. This movie is great, and inspired the likes of Friday Night Lights.
Rushmore Texas is proud to claim Wes Anderson. We’ve been a little less proud after his past two films, but have high hopes that he can redeem himself in the coming years.
I don’t care what the critics say, I liked this movie. It has hot chicks and sweet cars. That’s all I need in life, maybe a few beers everyday. It was shot and takes place in Austin.
So there you have it. Texas, you will be missed.