Out of the 30,000 movies produced each year only 700 see theatrical distribution. If you do the math correctly, that means that there are exactly one gazillion movies that very few people see — movies that have their own charms whether those charms be a skewed sense of humor or a dude jacking off onto a chicken. For every watered down family-friendly blowstravaganza like Wild Hogs, there’s a truly brilliant gem that has only found itself a small but loyal group of fans. We’ve turned over a few rocks and come up with trailers for ten crazy little cult flicks.
RUBIN AND ED
“This is the perfect spot to bury a cat!”
Rubin and Ed looks like an amazingly surreal movie. You’ve got the always eccentric Crispin Glover dressed like an uncool lesbian and Howard Hesseman wearing Stan Lee’s hair. Together the two form an unlikely bond and go on an adventure to bury Rubin’s dead cat. The journey is frought with peril, hallucinations, really high-heeled shoes, waterskiing cats, and pyramid schemes. It’s like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid through the lens of Hunter S. Thompson.
BAD BOY BUBBY
“God doesn’t like fat people!!”
Definitely the most bizarre of the bunch, Bad Boy Bubby is an Australian cult film about a 35 year old shut-in who ventures into the world for the first tme. The trailer makes it seem tame but trust me the movie is completely shocking due to scenes of incest, blasphemy, violence, menacing, and animal cruelty. The initial release was banned in the UK which is already a pretty seedy place. Need I remind you that’s where George Michael lives?
“There is a passageway to the most evil place you can imagine… a gate. Behind which the demons wait to take back what was once theirs.” (In other words, the pilgrims dicked over the demons.)
The trailer begins with young Stephen Dorff cracking open a rock that unleashes an army of demons into his suburban home. This seems like a bizarre move considering that all the children around him are extremely demon-savvy. I especially enjoy around the 1:00 mark when the girl exclaims, “Demons? What kind?!!” The perfectly natural response to which would be a sarcastic, “Oh well, let me just grab my copy of Demonology for Dummies and… THEY’RE F***ING DEMONS, THAT’S WHAT KIND!!”
Since its 1987 release, The Gate has amassed a good number of fans including Alex Winter, who has begun work on his own remake of the film. And speaking of Alex Winter…
I am woman. And I like me.”
Alex Winter’s opus, Freaked tells the tale of a spoiled Hollywood super-douche who is kidnapped by a sinister mad bio-engineer and mutated into a side-show freak. He bands together with the other experimentations (including Mr. T as a bearded lady) to fight for their freedom from the oppressive Colonel Sanders wannabe that holds them captive. With inventive freaks and machine gun-toting Rasta Eyeballs, it’s safe to say that Freaked isn’t for every movie-goer but definitely held dear by its fans.
“I’m living in a state of irony.”
I’m a jerk for not having seen Happiness yet. My friends rave about it and demand that I check it out. I’ve watched Todd Solondz’s other films and really dug them so I don’t know why I’ve held out on this one. This trailer is really entertaining and Dylan Baker as a bored psychiatrist cracks my sh*t up. I guess the reason I haven’t seen it is because I’m easily distrac– OOO LOOK! BRIDE OF CHUCKY IS ON AGAIN. I’MA WATCH THIS!
NIGHT OF THE DAY OF THE DAWN OF THE SON OF THE BRIDE OF THE RETURN OF THE REVENGE OF THE TERROR OF THE ATTACK OF THE EVIL, MUTANT, HELLBOUND, FLESH-EATING SUBHUMANOID ZOMBIFIED LIVING DEAD, PART 3
“Listen up baby. I got a bunch of cracker ass, white zombie honkey muthaf***as jackin’ up my fresh ride. If I don’t waste their white asses they’re gonna come in here and house us.”
This awesomely-titled Night of the Day of the Dawn of the Son of the Bride of the Return of the Revenge of the Terror of the Attack of the Evil, Mutant, Hellbound, Flesh-Eating Subhumanoid Zombified Living Dead, Part 3 (or NotDotDotSotBotRotRotTotAotEMHFESZLD III as I like to call it) is a comedic redub of the George Romero classic Night of the Living Dead. Why? Because the original really didn’t capture the nuances of Black Culture properly. It re-envisions the ill-fated cast as a jive-talkin’ slickster, a blissed out surfer and a racist. Plus everyone’s favorite, wise-cracking zombies!!
“Ooooo. Look at me. I’m so German.”
I haven’t seen this film but it looks like a really slick trailer. The movie is about three handicapped low-lifes who draft a celebrity author into their band. His handicap is that he can’t play the drums. The visuals look great and I’m definitely adding this to my Netflix queue. It seems to be filled with violence, brutality, and nihilism. Not to mention, the song from the trailer sounds like something Ween would record. Whatever happened to handi-capable bands that visit school auditoriums and encourage hugs over drugs? These dudes definitely don’t look like any hug addicts I’ve ever met.
“Aw dude. I’m sorry I tried to put your head through that.”
The only documentary in the bunch, American Movie tags along as independant filmmaker Mark Borchardt struggles to make his own cult-quality film. It’s a sincerely one-of-a-kind, hilarious. and heartfelt film and was a darling at Sundance about a decade ago. That’s why I’m surprised when people tell me that they’ve never heard of this. You kids today with your Clarence Clemonses and your jazz-tap dancing. Back in my day we knew how to document!
Another fantastic trailer for a crazy movie. Though the plot details are only communicated to us visually we still get perfect sense of the film’s themes of love and cannibalism. Which is good seeing as all dialogue is in the French language and I studied the more practical language of wood shop. I can’t order a crepe but I can build a birdhouse that will just blow your doors off.
ROLLING THUNDER (1977) Theatrical trailer * William Devane * WID – Watch more Funny Videos
“Let’s go clean them up.”
TV cad William Devane and Tommy Lee Jones co-star in this tale about war heroes who return to find their world has changed. Throw in a dead son and a lost hand and you’ve got a recipe for a bloodbath. The pacing of the film itself is quite strange as well. At one point, Tommy Lee Jones’s character is asked, “What are you doing?” He replies stone-faced, “We’re gonna kill a bunch of people.” I don’t want to give away any spoilers but, excluding Two-Face, have you ever known Tommy Lee Jones to lie?
Honorable mentions go to Troll 2 and The Room only because we wrote about them in our Totally Awfulsome Movies post from a few months back.
What are your favorite cult flicks that we have yet to discover? Sound off in the ‘Comment’ section below.