TV Shows

Parasites, terrorism, beauty pageants, cat suits, and child actors. Tonight's TV viewing options sum up Florida perfectly.

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NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

A hard decision, social experiments, celebrity garage sales, and a double dose of Diddy. Here's your guide to be what's on TV tonight.

FIND OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

Yo, yo, yo Junkies! Welcome to Tuesday's edition of What To Watch Tonight. We've combed the listings once more to give you our best offerings. In addition to the All-Star Game (to which we paid solemn tribute) there's a lot of options tonight. Essentially Roadhouse or a furry orgy. You've got some tough calls to make. Are you really going to foresake Patrick Swayze??

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Okay fight fans! Tonight's recommended viewings all linger around the theme of fighting for survival in one way or another. So why not watch with a friend? And then why not punch them upside when they're not looking. I think you'll both get a pretty good laugh out of it.

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This weekend we're certain you'll be catching Brüno at least once.  (If you're not convinced of its worthiness, read Andy Rooney's review here.)  There's also I Love You, Beth Cooper, which looks good and grating, other than Hayden Panettiere's involvement.  But if you just feel like staying in, or you physically can't get outside because of obesity issues or allergies, we've got a cornucopia of televised delicacies for your discerning palate.  And none of them are cooking shows.

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Alright Junkies, we're halfway through the week. You did it. You're a champ. Why not reward yourself by relaxing by the soft, cathode flicker of your television whilst sipping the finest of boxed wines? We've got some pretty great suggestions for tonight but felt it necessary to point out a strange programming phenomenon that is also taking place. While combing the listings we noticed programs called "15 and Pregnant", "16 and Pregnant" and "Obese and Pregnant" are all airing at some point across three different channels. Who's getting all these teenagers and morbidly obese women pregnant? I want an APB on Tracy Morgan immediately.

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Alright, it's that time of day again for us to provide a handy guide of tonight's worthwhile television offerings you need to watch. Of course, that's assuming that you're not worn out from watching Michael's all-day memorial. No pressure but if you feel so inclined to turn down "Beat It" for a few hours.  We got your back.

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