TV Guide

Tonight, Jessica Simpson's cleavage makes Dane Cook palatable.

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This weekend Survivor: Samoa begins to wind down, Bruce Campbell saves the day, and an elephant gets cut in half.

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Tonight on Jersey Shore, Snooki learns the importance of a clean clock.

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Tonight on TV, Jesse "The Body" Ventura wrestles hypocrisy and Kim Kardashian does whatever it is she does.

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If the paranormal children on TV tonight don't melt our brains, Megan Fox's hottest moments will.

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Tonight on TV, embarrassing parents and strippers. In other words, smoke and fire.

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^{My eyes are up here, kid.}

This weekend, will Dexter Morgan get his man? Will Deb discover her brother's secret?? Will we get more "oh sh*t!" moments???

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Tonight on TV, Zooey Deschanel throws her sister a bone.

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Tonight, Top Chef ends its season and Padma Lakshmi regrettably covers up for the winter.

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