star trek

William Shatner offers an evocative and erotic description as to why Captain James T. Kirk wants to climb a mountain, all backed by a catchy beat. As an actor, Shatner delves into the psyche of his character, and apparently he has discovered that Kirk likes to f*ck gigantic rock formations. It's probably all a metaphor or something.

Check out Shatner's process below.

Whether Mr. J.J. Abrams likes it or not, Zoe Saldana refuses to keep her pretty little mouth shut about the Star Trek sequel, unofficially titled Star Trek: Uhura's Quest for Spock's Nuts. Yay for all of us! She said Abrams, Alex Kurtzman, and Roberto Orci are all still working on the script, and that they'll probably be going into pre-production around this time next year.

It's just pre-production, people. That means they'll start making drawings of how they want the shiny sets and costumes to look. Then once they decide how many whatevers should hang from the whatever, they have to make those whatevers a reality. Someone will probably get injured during construction, which will cause a delay, and during that time J.J. will realize there's a huge plot hole in the script. I expect to see the Star Trek sequel in 2015. (MTV)

Paramount Home Entertainment put on a huge bash at L.A.'s Griffith Observatory to celebrate the release of Star Trek on DVD and Blu-ray and Screen Junkies caught up with J.J. Abrams on the black carpet. When asked if he would return for another impossible mission with Tom Cruise, Abrams indicated that he will serve as producer but has another film he's helming that will interfere with him directing another Mission: Impossible.

“The one I’m directing hopefully next year, I’m just in the early stages of that or middle of that, which is probably going to preclude my availability for doing Mission,” Abrams said. “Although I so love what the script is, what the story is. Josh Appelbaum and Andre Nemec are writing a script and they’re doing an amazing job so I’m already sort of envious of whoever ends up directing that movie.”

Don't feel too bad J.J.. I'm sure there are people out there that are jealous of Felicity. Somewhere.

Why? Why, why, why, why?! JJ Abrams, you had a chance to put the amazingly buxom Diora Baird in a tastefully revealing bra and panties and you decided to NOT put Diora Baird in said lingerie. Do you need to replace the lenses in those stylish black frames of yours? The woman is a ten and you decided to go with a woman who is not Diora Baird:

For shaaaaaaaame. Chris Pine and Diora might have had amazing chemistry, but now we'll never know because a robot could have played the role below. Hmmmm a robot Diora Baird... Now there's something that shouldn't have creeped into my imagination. [Topless Robot]

Television's ultimate pitchman has passed away. Billy Mays, the charismatic and clamorous infomercial host died in his sleep after sustaining a head injury during a rough plane landing this past weekend. The very likeable Mays is currently co-starring with Anthony Sullivan on the Discovery Channel show Pitchmen. This really is such a shame. It's always sad to see someone cut down while their star is on the rise. His contributions to the tapestry of television will be sorely missed. (Variety)

And on a side note, can we please put a stop to all of these recent high profile deaths? Keyboard Cat's paws are gonna fall off at this rate.

Geekologie reports that a man in South Wales recently passed away and used the opportunity to honor his favorite show, Dr. Who. Sebastian Neale arranged for his funeral to be themed after the popular science fiction program, right down to the TARDIS-shaped coffin.

This is the most bizarre thing I've ever seen. Oh wait, I stand corrected. What are your thoughts on this, Talkative Baby?

Yeah. I totally agree.

More morning news for all y'all...

Shia Labeouf will not bring down Y: The Last Man adaptation. (Coming Soon)

It Might Get Loud gets a trailer. (The Playlist)

Which lovely lady should play Judy Jetson? (io9)

Tim Burton's 9 has a new poster. (IMP)

Sexy Jamie King to play sexy Brigitte Bardot. (CHUD)
 

According to Nikki Finke's Deadline Hollywood Daily, Paramount's Star Trek pulled in $26 million on saturday, a 9% increase from Friday's box office.  The studio is reportedly confident that the totals for the film, including the Thursday night previews, will reach $75 million.  Not quite as big as X-Men Origins: Wolverine, but one would have to think Star Trek's gonna outlast its mutant rival if the reviews mean anything.  

In any case, it's another success for JJ Abrams to celebrate. In tribute to Mr. Abrams, here's a video from the Fine Brothers that posits what would happen if Trek met Lost.

See the rest of the weekend Box Office Estimates after the jump:

Here's the last Star Trek starlet to get you prepped for Abrams's sexed up reboot, if you haven't seen it three times already.  Our featured girl's roles have gotten smaller and smaller each day, and we're ending on a girl who's character is basically the equivalent of an Original Series red shirt, minus the expendable part.  Yes, it's siren Rachel Nichols as "Gaila," the green Star Fleet Cadet! 

Where You've Seen Her Before: Rachel's familiar with Abrams and company, having guest starred on the fifth (and final) season of "Alias" as CIA Agent Rachel Gibson.  She also showed up in the remake of The Amityville Horror, in Charlie Wilson's War as one of "Charlie's Angels," and in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, which you have secretly seen and enjoyed on a lonely saturday night.  You're going to be seeing a lot more of Rachel this summer, as she's also starring as Scarlett in G.I. JOE: The Rise of Cobra.

Random Quote: "I am smarter than you, and I am better looking, and I have an accomplished career, and I’m not even thirty."

Well then.  See how accomplished Rachel is in these racy photos after the jump.

Star Trek officially opens tonight and Mother's Day is Sunday.  How appropriate, then, that we introduce you to Jennifer Morrison, who plays Winona Kirk, the mother of Capt. James Tiberius Kirk, in JJ Abrams' film.  There are several different backstories associated with the character, but no matter what reality you buy into as a Trekker, you can't deny Jennifer's practically playing the mother of god. 

Where you've seen her before: She's probably most familiar as Dr. Allison from Fox's "House" series, but she's also played Jamie in Grind, Amy in Urban Legends: Final Cut, and Chris in a small 2004 film called Mall Cop, whose makers probably hate their lives right now.

Random Quote: "My resume for Cameron has me graduating medical school the year I graduated junior high.”

See pictures of Jennifer after the jump:

“Star Trek” has been lying on the emergency room table for a good 10 years now, finally flat-lining with the ultra-flop “Nemesis” back in 2003, and then being confirmed dead when the pitiable TV series “Enterprise” was cancelled in 2005.  After having overcome cancellation, diminishing box office returns, and an increasingly maligned mythology only taken seriously by hardcore fanboys, “Star Trek” looked like it had finally breathed its last  Enter JJ Abrams, who has retooled, rebooted, and re-energized this franchise into a slick, hip, action-packed and character-driven summer blockbuster that will bring in much-needed new fans and please plenty of hard-to-satisfy Trekkies.  The hardcore fans won’t be happy, but then again, are they ever?