Simon Cowell

Forbes reports that Simon Cowell is stacking that cheddar, son. Oh sorry. That wasn't Forbes. That was 4BZ, my rap-loving neighbor. What Forbes actually said is that British grump Simon Cowell is the top-earning man on U.S. television with an estimated income of $75 million dollars last year. WOW.

Coming in second place is Donald Trump with an estimated $50 million. Question. Why can't the two wealthiest men on television afford a decent haircut? (THR)