^{Honka. Honka.}

Crazy landmark-destruction fetishist Roland Emmerich wants to return to his earlier hit Independence Day for not one, but TWO sequels. So that's at least $24 I'll be saving by staying the f*ck home.

Emmerich tells MTV that they don't have a script but they do have an idea. But it's really two ideas because they want the story to be told over the course of two really bad movies. And of course he wants to title them both ID4-Ever. Though he wasn't forthcoming with plot details (who needs one really?), let's put on our retard caps and try to figure it out for ourselves. Here's the entire films in a nutshell.

WILL SMITH: "Hey! You Independence Day aliens quit blowing up the White House. We just rebuilt it. That's a direct order from President Will Smith!! Cuz I'm President now!!! Aw hell naw!!! You're not half as friendly as the Scientology aliens!"

(MTV)

Looks like Roland Emmerich is at it again. Of course, if you watch cable news like I do, the end of the world certainly looks inevitable. Perhaps Mr. Emmerich will be taken more seriously when he's called a Documentarian. 

At least that seems like a better title than "Prophet of Doom." Either way, he loves coming up with ways to destroy crap. But, in the interest of science, let's take a closer look at the potential ends of the world, as described by Nostradamus Roland Emmerich:

Today's Marquee Links

"I'm On A Boat" Celebration (Video)

Throughout his film career, director Roland Emmerich has laid waste to several landmarks and institutions -- the White House (twice), the Pentagon, New York City, the Golden Gate Bridge, and John Cusack's credibility. In his new film 2012, he smashes and shakes historic sites across the globe to rubble. But we've finally found a building impervious to his computer-generated destruction. In an early draft of the script, Emmerich was planning to level the Kaaba, one of Islam's holiest sites. He pussied out when his cowriter mentioned that inclusion of the scene would more than likely lead to a fatwa on their heads (first of all, grow some balls and secondly, this movie had a writer?). Naturally the disaster-meister opted to eradicate the Vatican and a group of Buddhist monks instead.

When asked whether he feared any kind of retaliation for the script change, Emmerich asked, "What are you gonna do about it, Buddhists? Huh? You gonna cry? Buddhists gonna cry? Huh? Huh? Huh?" (Cinema Blend)

Trailer for 2012 - Watch more Funny Videos

Trailer for 2012 - Watch more Funny Videos

Roland Emmerich and Michael Bay should have an explosion war.  Both of them get a sick kick out of blowing up monuments, landmarks, and national treasures.  In fact, they even blow up the same icons in several different movies.  Why not just go back in time and punch Betsey Ross in the kidney while she's sewing the stars and stripes on the American Flag?  Or better yet, have the Red Coats crash a tidal wave down on top of her. Maybe Emmerich can work that into a redux of the The Patriot.  Until then, we can watch John Cusack and a motley cast of other recognizable faces outrun the end of the world much like the characters do in The Day After Tomorrow and Independence Day.

Director: Roland Emmerich

Cast: John Cusack, Thandie Newton, Woody Harrelson 

Synopsis: An epic adventure about a global cataclysm that brings an end to the world and tells of the heroic struggle of the survivors