Jet Li

Man Challenge: Get your ass to the theater the weekend of August 13th to see The Expendables or else Eat, Pray, Love might take the number one spot at the box office. I'm not saying this because Lionsgate bought me the jacuzzi full of Voss that I'm currently working in, I'm saying it because if a movie specifically tailored for guys like us fails to bring in the dough, our future will be grim. So, so grim. In fact, make so much noise through your enthusiasm for The Expendables that the females in the Eat, Pray, Love theater next door turn to either side and disgustedly utter the word, "Men..." You're goddamned right "men."

Check out the Call to Arms Expendables trailer after the jump.

On paper The Expendables is terrible. In execution it is the most fun I've had in a movie theater for quite some time. This movie almost has it all; explosions, gratuitous violence, badasses, unnecessary motorcycle-riding montages, bad guys getting their heads kicked off, and awkward stabs at banter delivered by foreign tongues. And this new one minute cutdown of the trailer highlights all those elements. Especially the banter. Somebody in Internet add a laugh-track to this movie immediately. Somebody not me.

CHECK OUT THE COMEDIC STYLINGS OF JET "SHECKY" LI AFTER THE JUMP...

_{One of these men has an enlarged prostate.}

No you're not looking at a pharmaceutical campaign, that's the new Legends Poster for The Expendables. It's about a bunch of men who do mercenary work in between trips to the bathroom for wee wee. I kid, I kid, don't stroke out.

In fact, in the new sneak peak of the movie, the guys are bruising more ass than whippersnappers one-third their age. "The Boys Are Back in Town" by Thin Lizzy also helps with the playful tone of the footage. If they used Linkin' Park for the backing track, then we'd know shit is about to get real.

Check out the sneak peak after the jump. The Expendables works its way into theaters August 13, 2010.

The trailer for the powerhouse action film The Expendables has hammer-punched its way on to the Internetz. It stars Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Terry Crews, Bruce Willis, Randy Couture, Dolph Lundgren, and Arnold Schwarzenegger, The Governator himself. Until now I was unaware that celluloid could contain that much raw power. Add a theme song by the guy from Godsmack and the package is complete. I don't know about you, but I feel like wrestling a Minotaur!

Check out the trailer below. The Expendables busts into theaters August 13, 2010. ROAAAAR!!!!

Director: Peter Ho-Sun Chan

Cast: Jet Li, Andy Lau, Takeshi Kaneshiro

Synopsis: A Chinese army general (Li) joins with two bandits (Lau, Kaneshiro) to defend a hapless village from the horrors of war.  They become blood brothers, but their loyalty is tested when politics and a love triangle come into play.

Genre: Historical Action

Release Date: Summer 2009 (North America)