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A sh*t ton of kids, explosions, muscular women, a boa constrictor, and clown tears. Tonight's TV Preview is my 12th birthday all over again.

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NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

Mr. Janus, Mr. T, and Mr. Kotter. Tonight's TV preview is very polite when applying monikers.

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NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

By now we've all seen the official pictures of Mickey Rourke dressed as Whiplash at the racetrack in Iron Man 2. You know, the one's where he looks like a Steampunk Harvey Keitel? Well, it's believed that those are images of Whiplash in his prototype Mark I suit. Fans have been abuzz about what the Russian baddie will look like in his final armor ever since. Now the upcoming Marvel comic series IRON MAN VS. WHIPLASH may have revealed what Rourke's look will be when he squares off against Tony Stark and War Machine in the final act of the film. Here's the image from the book:

Not bad. If this truly is the film's final armor, he's gone from looking like a He-Man villain to a Thundercats villain. Upgrade. (/Film)

More morning news that will whip yo' ass...

You may remember that back in July we alerted you to RoboGeisha, the only film brave enough to broach the subject of stabbing people in the eyes with shrimp tempura. Noboru Iguchi's crazy Geishsploitation splatterfest is back with a second trailer and the awesome poster above. This movie just looks better and better all the time. Not only do the Geishas rock out to bad Paul McCartney covers but they can also continue to battle despite being sliced in two. Let's see Tony Jaa pull that off. (Dread Central)

Peep the trailer and stick around for our morning links...

?????? / Robo-geisha (Trailer Two) - Watch more Funny Videos

Let's get you squared away for the weekend. Tainted meat, spoiled pets, college hijinks, plane crashes, Neil Diamond, and Lucy Liu: Vampire Hunter round out what you should be watching. I should also note that you don't want to miss the return of Battle Whale.

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NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

Bryan Singer is in talks to bring a big screen version of Battlestar Galactica to theaters. Originally he was set to develop the television series reboot in 2001 but was c-blocked by the Taliban. The gig later went to Ron Moore and the rest is history. No word yet on the creative direction of the feature but let's hope it wraps up a little tighter than the new series did. I find it kind of odd that Universal is already rebooting a franchise that practically just completed its successful run. If this is the new norm, can we get a do-over on Transformers 2? (Hit Fix)

Check out these morning links before they get remade...

Blindfolds, bickering, shackles, mounds of snow, and serious daddy issues. All things you might find in Pamela Anderson's bedroom. Your TV preview begins now!

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

The world's greatest zombie comic book is shuffling its way toward a small screen adaptation. The ridiculously rad Frank Darabont is in final talks to write and direct The Walking Dead for AMC. If you're unfamiliar with the books, the story centers on a group of strangers who must fight for survival in a zombie-infested world. Though the focus is on how we deal with one another once society and the creature comforts crumble, there is quite a bit of disturbing gore throughout. This is super exciting and Darabont is the perfect choice to helm. I'm also very excited that zombies will finally be brought to the small screen. The zombies on The Hills don't count because those are fast zombies. (/Film)

Sink your teeth into these fleshy morning links...