Darren Aronofsky

Angelina Jolie can't decide which movie-I'll-never-see to do next. First there were reports that she dropped out of Wanted 2 in favor of Alfonso Cuaron's stranded on a spacestation drama Gravity. Word today is that she's not part of Gravity and is circling a project with Darren Aronofsky.

The director and star are both looking to join an adaptation of Serena: A Novel. If the project does come to fruition, Serena: A Movie would star Jolie as the wife of a timber magnate in the woods of 1929 North Carolina. She would use the awesome powers of her vagina to convince him to commit increasingly ruthless acts. Later when she learns that she cannot conceive a child she decides that adoption is sooo 2002 and that murdering her husband's illegitimate son is the new hotness.

Both Jolie and Aronofsky are waiting for a new script and budget before signing on to the evil vagina movie. I just wish that Angelina would learn to use that thing for good. Think of all the wars she could stop. (THR)

You can leave your bottle of Jergen's at home when you go to see The Black Swan, fellas. The hot, angry, lesbian, ballerina sex that we previously reported would take place between Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis is going to be filmed with the aid of breast doubles. Portman tells UK Elle that she will never show her naughty bits on the big screen.

"I'm definitely not a prude about sex or nudity, I just don't want do something that will end up as a screen grab on a porn site so meanwhile I'm doing halfsies - I'm like, 'I'll show my butt but not my boobs',"

I'm sure perverts the world over are saddened by this news but bear in mind that she is an actress, not an object. It's difficult for young women to always be taken seriously in Hollywood and I salute her convictions. I urge you perverts to as well. OH! GROSS GUYS!!! THAT'S NOT HOW YOU SALUTE!!! (UK Elle via The Playlist)

Studio Mogul-Man has struck again! Due to his evil meddling, the Spiderman-4 and Robocop remake have grinded to a halt like a saw blade headed straight for your crotch. In the case of Spider-Man, Sam Raimi and Sony are butting heads over their villain of choice. Raimi wants The Vulture, and Sony, obviously haters of the evil avian variety, wants a romantic subplot involving Spidey and the Black Cat. In addition to the feline, they'd also like another antagonist, but that will probably turn into another fifteen. Maybe they can all gang rape Spider-Man in a orgy of CGI, 3D, and sticky webbing. 

As far as Robocop, Darren Aronofsky has left the project after refusing to turn it into an orgy of CGI, 3D, and why not some sticky webbing too. Mary Parent, Chairperson of MGM, is clearly looking to capitalize on the success of Avatar, and Aronofsky isn't interested in made-up worlds that don't exist except in computers. Robocop is awesome because it's gritty and real, not because ED209 is poking you in the eye with his hand-cannon.

Spider-man 4 will most likely hit theaters before Robocop, but with Studio Mogul-Man on the loose, who knows what other havoc he could bring to the projects before they reach fruition.

(via THR and Moviehole)

YouTuber jkpyle posted this impressive mashup trailer, which runs Darren Aronofsky's The Wrestler through the grindhouse. What comes out is as bloody and chills-inducing as Randy "The Ram" Robinson's hand after he caught it in the deli slicer.