Something tells me he'll be able to sell "tired and weary."
Affleck’s Batman Will Be Tired, Weary, And Seasoned, Much Like The Summer Audiences That Will Flock To See Him
Friday, September 13 by

He’s just so over the whole Dark Knight thing.

Heavens, that doesn't look fun.
Bravo’s Giving You A TV Show That’s Just About People Watching TV
Friday, September 13 by

But will they be mindlessly surfing the Internet while watching, like we do?

I demand toddler versions of all familiar characters. Like 'Muppet Babies'.
Disney Exec Says They’ll Crank Out One ‘Star Wars’ Origin Story Per Year
Friday, September 13 by

Maybe we’ll know where Jar Jar came from, so we can know where to take him back to.

SOLD.
Don’t Worry, Lars Von Trier’s Next Movie, ‘Nymphomaniac’, Will Be Five Hours Long
Thursday, September 12 by

That’s five and a half hours longer than I’m willing to expend on Von Trier films. That’s right. I want to spend NEGATIVE time watching them.

Ugh. Summer reading.
J.K. Rowling Will Write A Harry Potter Film Without Harry Potter, Because Screw Him
Thursday, September 12 by

Oh, those wondrous beasts!

Cue the worst Jane's Addiction song ever made.
‘Entourage’ Movie Delayed By Actual Hollywood Casting Drama
Thursday, September 12 by

He is Queens Boulevard.

Of course he has Bluetooth.
AMC Takes Its Own Advice, Calls Saul!
Wednesday, September 11 by

YES!!!!

Hey, a handsome actor!
Because It’s Only Fair, People Now Want Loki From ‘The Avengers’ To Get His Own Movie
Wednesday, September 11 by

There’s nothing studio execs take more seriously than a fan-made petition.

Motivational speech after motivational speech.
Showtime To Develop Pro Basketball Drama From Guy Who Knows Sports
Wednesday, September 11 by

The pilot will just be Steve Nash dishing out no-look passes!

They're secretly paying a facial acting coach to help Johnny Depp recreate this smile. It could take years.
Next ‘Pirates’ Movie Shut Down To Rework Script. This Could Be A Minute.
Wednesday, September 11 by

Disney quality control rears its ugly head.

Nobody cares.
AMC Has Cancelled ‘The Killing’. Again.
Wednesday, September 11 by

Let it evolve into the next, better show.

Well aren't you a cute superhero, Ant-Man?
‘Ant-Man’ Will Be Ruining Our Picnics, Summer 2015
Tuesday, September 10 by

He won’t be lethal, but he’ll be annoying as hell.

Oh, Patrick!
‘American Psycho’ Follow-Up Series In The Works At FX
Tuesday, September 10 by

I bet he’ll now be extolling the virtues of Mumford and Sons and Carly Rae Pepsen.

The is the look Arsenio gives you when he says you seem familiar, then you tell him you met him at a wedding once in 2002.
After One Night On The Air, Arsenio Hall Is The King Of Late Night!
Tuesday, September 10 by

The 90’s are back!!!

NOT BATMAN.
Maybe The Fact That Josh Brolin Was Considered As Batman Will Make You Feel Better About Affleck Getting The Role
Monday, September 9 by

Then again, maybe it won’t.

I'll wait for DETAILStv.
Say Goodbye To The Style Channel, Say Hello To Esquire Network
Monday, September 9 by

I want to put on a vest and fedora just thinking about this wonderful news.

It's far inferior to my "Charles in Charge: Gender Dynamics in the Workplace" seminars.
UC Irvine Offering A Free Online ‘Walking Dead’ Course
Monday, September 9 by

Does anyone want to get in my study group?

Seems like a nice enough young man.
Bruno Mars Announced For Super Bowl Halftime Show, Gwar Waits Until Next Year (Again)
Monday, September 9 by

How has there not been a Katy Perry halftime show yet? Seems odd…

Is his hair pink?
Alec Baldwin Will Host An MSNBC Show, And No, It Won’t Be Live
Thursday, September 5 by

Because he has anger issues.

Ugh. Creepy.
Now WGN Wants To Be A Big Shot Cable Network With Its Own Programming
Thursday, September 5 by

Know your role, WGN.

What might have been.
Read The ‘Breaking Bad Storylines That Never Made It Into The Show
Thursday, September 5 by

Better left unshot.

Clearly, business is booming.
Despite Your Bitching, This Was The Biggest Summer Box Office Ever
Wednesday, September 4 by

Really? Really? REALLY? THERE WASN’T EVEN A ‘BATMAN’ THIS SUMMER!

This is Max Steel. Seems like a nice enough guy.
Mattel Decided That Taylor Lautner Won’t Be Their ‘Max Steel’
Wednesday, September 4 by

Apparently Max Steel is some sort of toy superhero. Also apparently, Mattel produces films.

He could play a washing machine and the movie would gross $55 million.
Ryan Gosling Turned Down The Role Of Christian Grey, Presumably Because ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ Is Terrible In Every Way
Wednesday, September 4 by

The highlight of my day is when I get to report on something that’s not happening.

I'm gonna miss this!
‘True Blood’ To Hang Up Its Tits And Fangs In 2014, Ending The Series
Tuesday, September 3 by

One more nail in the coffin of the sexy vampire trend.

After this, he can host the Oscars!
LeBron James Will Treat Us To A Semi-Biographical Comedy Series On Starz
Tuesday, September 3 by

Not Black Starz. Starz. I checked like three times to make sure I got that right.

Popes are better when they smile.
Hey Fanboys, Brace Yourselves For The Upcoming Pope Francis Biopic
Tuesday, September 3 by

It’s gonna be a zoo when he shows up at Comic-Con

Never mind. I'm totally sold after this picture.
1973 Film ‘Westworld’ Will Now Be An HBO Show
Tuesday, September 3 by

HBO, who always seems to have greenlit or in development far more shows than they’ll have schedule space for, has announced another addition to the family in Westworld, the story…

I'm especially fond of heavily-styled children.
‘Alexander And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day’ Announces Its Cast
Thursday, August 29 by

Terrible, no good, very bad news.

I want. Gimme.
Let’s Cut Out Early Tomorrow And Spend Labor Day Playing With ‘Back To The Future’ Legos
Thursday, August 29 by

It’s $34.99, neither I nor Screen Junkies will receive any compensation for featuring or promoting this majesty, but…BUY THIS LEGO KIT BEFORE I BUY THEM ALL MYSELF. Points to the…

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