I hope the person left standing gets clocked in the face with a folding chair. I would watch that.
Extreme Musical Chairs Premieres Tonight With The CW’s ‘Oh Sit!’
Wednesday, August 15 by

“‘Oh Sit!’? More like…’Oh F*ck!'”

Nell will straight up fucking murder you if you don't make that vig payment.
Jodie Foster Directing A Sort-Of Female ‘Sopranos’
Tuesday, August 14 by

“Quit bustin’ my labia.”

I would cite this photo in my "We're used to touching heads, and I just got carried away" defense.
Chad ‘Ochocinco’ Johnson Head-Butts His Wife, Loses His VH1 Reality Show
Tuesday, August 14 by

He should change his name to “Chad Head-o Butt-o.”

Weird that he has a really hot girlfriend. That really could have gone either way.
Aaron Paul To Sign On For ‘Long Way Down’, Reminding Us ‘Breaking Bad’ Won’t Last Forever
Tuesday, August 14 by

Is it too early to clamor for a Cranston-Paul reunion? And bring the guy who plays Badger, too.

They're already pretty much there anyway.
CNN Might Feature Some Non-News Shows To Boost Its Lousy News-y Ratings
Monday, August 13 by

I don’t watch news, and I don’t watch reality TV, so whatever CNN does here won’t get me to watch.

BRICK AND RON.
Ferrell And Carell To Star In ‘Swear To God’, Written By Justin Theroux
Monday, August 13 by

Together, they form a triumvirate of laughter.

This is the collective expression America made at the suspension of prisoners' civil liberties.
Guantanamo Bay Detainees Are Enjoying ‘Fresh Prince’ In Jail, And Who Can Blame Them?
Friday, August 10 by

The judge decided to suspend habeas corpus and yelled, “Yo homes, smell ya later!”

Someone just dumped a tall glass of handsome on this man. Get a towel.
Ben Affleck Is Offered ‘Justice League’ DC’s Slower, Smellier Brother To Marvel’s ‘The Avengers’
Thursday, August 9 by

Does this create a conflict of interest that will keep him from reprising Daredevil? We hope so.

That's our ALF!!!! *collapses into ball, cries*
THE ALF CGI FILM IS A GO! NO TIME TO TALK! JUST READ!
Thursday, August 9 by

Remember ALF? He’s back! In crappy TV adaptation form!

SPANK BANK.
Kelsey Grammer, Cop Show, ‘Freakonomics’ – It’s Not Mad Libs, It’s An NBC Show
Wednesday, August 8 by

Mustn’t See TV.

Not this 'Hobbit', but you get the idea.
Very Few People Will Actually Get To See ‘The Hobbit’s Revolutionary 3D Presentation
Wednesday, August 8 by

It’s too bad, because I was already starting eye exercises to prepare for the adjustment.

Hurry up, please, gang.
‘Arrested Development’ Has Started Filming New Episodes
Tuesday, August 7 by

Here’s where I would put an apt quote, but instead I’m gonna use Zuckercorn’s “Those? Those are balls!”

If I wanted to see a bunch of weed on an island, I'd start back up dealing drugs at Hilton Head, thanks very much.
Today In Timely News: Fox To Turn ‘The Beach’ Into A Series
Tuesday, August 7 by

How weird would it be if Leo DiCaprio reprised his role?

All of these people overpaid for a bad movie and their dumb little glasses.
Movie Tickets More Expensive Than Ever, While Movie Quality Hits All-Time Low
Tuesday, August 7 by

“Four for ‘Hotel for Dogs 2: Concierge’s Revenge’, please.”

R.C.
The Lost Roles Of Rob Corddry
Tuesday, August 7 by

A celebration of the comedic actor’s lesser-known roles.

Casual Friday on set.
Take A Look At The Many Faces Of Hugo Weaving In ‘Cloud Atlas’
Friday, August 3 by

In 25% of the photos, he’s not heinous.

I imagine that Phillip Seymour Hoffman could play over 90% of these characters.
Hey Nerds, That ‘World Of Warcraft’ Movie Is Still In The Works
Friday, August 3 by

Leeroy Jenkins.

Don't step to them.
The 7 Greatest Ensemble Casts Of All Time
Friday, August 3 by

We’re big into the group scene here at SJ.

Pirates: not as cool as the ones in the movies.
Here Are The Effects Of Online Piracy
Wednesday, August 1 by

A thorough infographic as to the costs of online piracy.

"Boop!"
Vince Vaughn Is Producing A ‘Brady Bunch’ Reboot For CBS. (I Swear To God, That’s What The News Is Saying.)
Wednesday, August 1 by

It will be just like the old one, only way less original!

Is he even awake? Somebody poke him with a stick.
Dan Harmon Chasing Deals At Fox And CBS After ‘Community’
Wednesday, August 1 by

But will his work be fawned over by the Internet? Answer: YES.

I can't stay mad at you!
7 Greatest TV Detectives Of All Time
Wednesday, August 1 by

They’re like grown-up Encyclopedia Browns. All of them.

Jesus. He's looking right at you. Say something, or he'll just keep doing it.
‘Rush Hour 4′ Is In The Works, Says Producer Whose Words You Can Understand Coming Out Of His Mouth
Monday, July 30 by

This will allow Chris Tucker to do absolutely nothing of consequence for the ten years or so.

We get it. You're pensive. Jeez.
OK, NOW ‘The Hobbit’ Is Going To Be Three Films
Monday, July 30 by

If “Hobbit” wasn’t such a fun word to type, I’d be pissed about getting the runaround on this story for the past two weeks.

He looks like a 'Hunger Games' character here.
Remember Those 40,000 Wikileaks/Julian Assange Movies? Jeremy Renner Might Be In One
Tuesday, July 24 by

Ah, Assange. Hello, old friend.

No beards were harmed during filming.
7 Badass Action Movies Based On Historical Events
Tuesday, July 24 by

Sometimes history is awesome. Rarely, but sometimes.

The title says it all.
5 Extremely Hatable TV And Movie Shrinks
Monday, July 23 by

“Now, how does that make you feel?”

Funny, this doesn't look like a guy who used to smoke a shitload of crack.
Aaron Sorkin Fires All The ‘Newsroom’ Writers, As Though They Were Responsible
Friday, July 20 by

He’s projecting, guys.

Jesus.
Gunman At ‘Dark Knight Rises Screening Opens Fire, Leaving 12 Dead, 50 Wounded
Friday, July 20 by

Not the ‘Dark Knight’ premiere story anyone wants to be reporting or reading.

Dude, just get a Hummer limo.
Bruce Wayne and 5 Other Joyless Rich Jerks In Movies
Wednesday, July 18 by

Smile, guys. You’re loaded.