Did you miss us? You better say "yes," because we're coming back anyway.
‘The Muppets’ Is Getting A Sequel. Also, The Sky Is Blue.
Thursday, March 1 by

Apparently the Muppets aren’t so anti-capitalist after all.

Looking at this picture reminds me that I don't need much Dane Cook in my life these days.
Dane Cook Will Solve All Of NBC’s Problems With His New TV Show
Thursday, March 1 by

Ugh.

Far and away, the best band on this list.
In Honor Of Davy Jones: 7 Manufactured Bands (That Aren’t The Monkees)
Thursday, March 1 by

After reading this article, you won’t need to check back in with these bands…ever. Forget about them.

This is going to be a very interesting child.
Hark! Snooki From ‘Jersey Shore’ Is Pregnant!
Wednesday, February 29 by

Something tells me the baby will slide right out without a problem.

Tom Kenny (Left)
7 Other Places You’ve Heard Tom Kenny, The Voice Of Spongebob
Wednesday, February 29 by

Tom Kenny is re-entering our lives. Unless you’re 13 years old, in which case he never left.

Rumors that Sonny Corleone had a temper are unfounded.
The 8 Most Awesomely Savage Beatings In Film
Wednesday, February 29 by

Think this list is dumb? Try sayin’ that to ITS FACE!

We surrender....TO COMEDY!
‘National Lampoon’s Vacation’ Saga Reluctantly Handed Over To ‘Horrible Bosses’ Writers
Wednesday, February 29 by

It will pick up where ‘Vegas Vacation’ left off. That is to say, the gutter.

Whatever.
Here Is Your Season 14 ‘Dancing With The Stars’ Cast, If You Give A Damn
Tuesday, February 28 by

If I wanted to watch people I’m unfamiliar with dance, I’d still be going to clubs in Hollywood.

That pocket square complements the face tattoo nicely.
If It’s Broke, Still Don’t Fix It: Mike Tyson Is Returning To ‘Hangover III’
Tuesday, February 28 by

This is gonna be classic, guys!

What the hell are they looking at?
Yup, A Whitney Houston Biopic Is In The Works
Tuesday, February 28 by

Sadly, this announcement took longer than I expected.

She becomes Carrie in some sort of Anakin-to-Dart Vader-type saga.
AnnaSophia Robb Will Be The New Carrie Bradshaw In The ‘Sex And The City’ Prequel
Tuesday, February 28 by

The darkest origin story of them all.

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Lucy Lawless Tries To Deny The World Its Sweet, Sweet Oil, Gets Arrested
Monday, February 27 by

In real life, Lucy Lawless’ superpower is acting like an entitled Hollywood liberal.

Collectively, the nation gasped and asked, "Is Ben Stiller standing in a ditch or something?"
7 Sorta High Points From Last Night’s Oscars
Monday, February 27 by

Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

I would say "It's never too early," but this feels a little too early.
Screw It, Here Are Our 2013 Oscar Predictions
Monday, February 27 by

Are there any movies I’m missing? Yeah. Probably tons.

Yes, yes. But where do you take it?
The Rock To Break Type And Play Hercules… Hold On, It Gets Better… For Brett Ratner
Thursday, February 23 by

I’m not even looking forward to avoiding this. Cut me so I feel…something.

"I'd like to pour some out for my homey Pete Postlethwaite. Mourn ya till I join ya, PeePee."
‘Best Original Song’: The Other Way To Win An Oscar
Thursday, February 23 by

What do Berlin, Three 6 Mafia, Madonna, Isaac Hayes, Eminem, and Phil Collins have in common? Not much at all.

The 2012 'Hunger Games' Food Court Tour
‘The Hunger Games’ Is Logically Doing A Mall Publicity Tour
Thursday, February 23 by

Don’t miss it! Unless you don’t care.

I hope the resolution is higher than what's depicted here.
Google Going Head-To-Head With Those Bastards From Time Warner
Thursday, February 23 by

First, Kansas City, then, the world.

When Oscars happen to bad movies.
7 Undeserving Movies That Managed To Score Oscars
Thursday, February 23 by

Decent performances, terrible films.

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7 Cities The Porn Industry Could Move To If It Leaves Los Angeles
Thursday, February 23 by

If this were to happen, I would think the Valley turns into a ghost town in about thirteen days.

I can't believe this is actually a thing.
Sacha Baron Cohen And 6 Other Oscar “Controversies”
Thursday, February 23 by

This is a controversy in the same way a “too-soon” Whitney Houston Facebook post is a controversy.

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Oscars Ban Sacha Baron Cohen Because They Hate Fun
Wednesday, February 22 by

The Academy must be trying to set some sort of record for how terrible and self-important an organization can be.

Their restrooms are in high demand.
Hooray For Hollywood: Del Taco Toilet Tussle Ends In Broken Bones
Wednesday, February 22 by

At Del Taco, you can get fries with your Mexican food…and a broken arm.

You're dragging me down!
7 TV Shows We’re Giving Up For Lent
Wednesday, February 22 by

It’s Ash Wednesday. Party’s over, people.

It will be whatever the opposite of 'Ratatouille' is.
Guillermo Del Toro To Freak Kids Out With CGI Epic ‘Day Of The Dead’
Tuesday, February 21 by

Expect nightlight sales to skyrocket in the wake of this film.

It's like the Oscars on welfare, which isn't actually a bad thing.
The Independent Spirit Awards (AKA The Hipster Oscars) Explained
Tuesday, February 21 by

If Billy Crystal found his way to this awards show, they would shoot him on sight.

Barney has more than a passing interest in world politics.
‘Homer At The Bat’ Is 20 Years Young!
Tuesday, February 21 by

“Dar-yl! Dar-yl!”

Party 'til you die.
For Fat Tuesday, Here Are 6 Movie Parties We Wish We’d Been Invited To
Tuesday, February 21 by

I’ll bring the hats and streamers.

Sheen is such a nice guy, he even gets his picture taken with people he thinks "suck."
Charlie Sheen, As We All Are, Tired Of Pretending Ashton Kutcher Doesn’t Suck
Friday, February 17 by

Tiger blood, and what have you.

Interesting, but I have a better idea.
Instead Of Hiring Cirque De Soleil, Turn The Oscars Into The ‘Hollywood Hunger Games’
Friday, February 17 by

“Let the 1st Annual Hollywood Hunger Games begin!”