They get their strength from eating people. Just like I do.
“Do I look like a muthaf*ckin’ role model?” Yeah, Ice Cube. You kinda do now.
Ashton will retain sole custody of his spotty facial hair.
I think there is a better chance of reanimating Michael to play himself than getting any of these guys hired.
They’re hoping it lasts at least as long as the ‘Charlie’s Angels’ remake does.
Let this be the news that signified Rob Schneider’s career had superseded Adam Sandler’s, never to be overtaken again.
Just ’cause they’re dead doesn’t mean we’re not wildly attracted to them.
This is just really awesome. The costumes, the deception…everything.
I heard in two years they were thinking about doing an Elian Gonzalez episode. Is nothing sacred with these guys?
No one makes me laugh like Glenn Beck does.
If your day has been filled with pleasant and comfortable interactions, you better watch these to restore some balance.
He also thought the war in Iraq was our nation’s finest hour and P.F. Chang’s has pretty authentic Chinese food.
If these guys were actually around, maybe I wouldn’t keep screwing up my life.
We meant a computer virus, but I wouldn’t rule out the regular kind.
This would likely hurt the president’s approval ratings.
‘Jack and Jill’ may soon join them.
We’re waiting for news of a gritty re-telling of Connect Four.
He’s going to buy Django’s wife wIth no repercussions at all, I presume.
Good, bad, or otherwise, these films serve as true representations of the American military experience.
He bores his victims to death.
That can’t be kosher…
But SOMEONE is!
Tell everyone you’re there for the premiere of the new pornographic film ‘Breaking Dawn’.
It turns out, there aren’t as many rap TV themes as one would think.
“The most disturbing Oscars ever” is still better than a boring Oscar ceremony, right?
In a further show of solidarity with Ratner, the heavy gal from ‘Bridesmaids’ asked that her name be removed from consideration.
How do you say, “Dammit, Chloe!” in Standard Hindi?
We couldn’t include all the hats we wanted to, on account of my laziness.
Not to mess with Texas, but they probably could have dug deeper than San Antonio.
His wife was photographing him naked with another man. (Technically, that’s true.)