Caution: Paterno jokes in here.

Let me guess – the band will be depicted as taking themselves super-seriously.

If TV is to be believed, he left behind a hefty estate.

If God exists, then why do Tyler Perry movies happen to good people?

If Jack Reacher was real, he’d be soooooo angry.

NICK LACHEY REUNION EPISODE?!?!?!?!?

This better feature Gavin DeGraw’s “Chariot.”

So don’t go expecting cinema verite.

Leave out the ducts. Trust me.

“Argo-Not.”

Instead of 3D glasses, dunce caps will be given out to audience members.

I choose death.

Here they go again. On their own.

WORDPLAY.

But it’s willing to share with you.

It’s all good, though. He was in ‘Fight Club’.

Pour out some California orange juice.

The monster is going to look for a missing girl for six hours and piss everyone off.

If only televisions had a manner of being powered by sexual chemistry.

MORE LIKE ‘HAWAII FIVE-NO’.

Et tu, Conan?

Ok, ‘Gatsby’, you’ve got my attention.

Not observing or learning about things that you think you won’t like is a real timesaver.

Christmas came late this year. Or whatever gift-oriented holiday is applicable to you.

He gave Ben Wyatt the new name “Angelo,” and the nickname “Jello Shot.”

But will the set include Bogdan, the car wash owner?

Sell your Acme stock now as a write-off for this year’s taxes.

Move the f*ck over, Rik Smits.

*Cue movie about swatting featuring lots of characters with nose rings and dreadlocks*

Hold for applause.