It’s the day after Halloween. I hope people still care about scary stuff.
I whittle down the field of cake programs to give you my bare-bones, seven favorites. It wasn’t easy.
Money can’t buy happiness, unless buying things makes you happy, in which case it can.
Burt Reynolds will play a guy trying to sleep with Archer’s mom.
That weird guy that really likes ‘Bob’s Burgers’ will be thrilled.
Strong men also cry…
Now if they could just get rid of Charlie Sheen.
Who would have thought such a thing would happen on the ‘Real World’? Oh, right. Everyone.
My research hasn’t turned up any signs of Chuck Lorre’s involvement in the show.
And that’s not even considering all the money he makes from wearing Kangol hats and laughing uproariously at the Oscars.
There’s one show on this list that will probably piss people off.
To help get you through the rest of the week, here’s a list (with video) of people killing animals.
I could see “Axel F” being redone by Cut Copy or Chromeo.
Instead of the Battleship film, why didn’t someone sack up and make ‘Nation’s Pride’?
This is worse than when the Dancing Ito’s went haywire and took out that orphanage.
Just imagine how well it would do if it had characters we cared about!
I wish I could vote for all these candidates, even the ones whose elections have already taken place.
Brought to you by Skechers Shape-Ups and TBS…
I managed to get through this article without grossing myself out, then I came back to write the intro, and that McRib description made my stomach turn.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM THE WAYANSESES!!!!!
Arrrrrrrrrrrrgh you f*cking kidding me?
The shows are called ‘DILFs’, ‘Fat Rob’, and ‘Rick’. Please, keep reading.
Movie theaters are scared that they’re losing you to your home theater. Here’s what they’re doing about it.
Jon Cryer is doing everything he can, but it just doesn’t seem to be enough.
So Jason Segel is picking up Frank Oz’s Muppet scraps. Yeah, that sounds about right.
I would adopt any of these kids, but I would secretly hope for Michael and Sally.
How great would it be if the ‘Night of the Living Dead’ guy directed a ‘Walking Dead’ episode? Eh. Not that great, really.
What did one hipster say to the other? Nothing, he was just mumbling because I kicked all his teeth out with my steel-toed boot.
Of course Alfred made the list. Don’t ask stupid questions.
Did you know that a baseball bat can be used as a weapon? You did? Shit. Well, so can these other weird things.