But SOMEONE is!
Tell everyone you’re there for the premiere of the new pornographic film ‘Breaking Dawn’.
It turns out, there aren’t as many rap TV themes as one would think.
“The most disturbing Oscars ever” is still better than a boring Oscar ceremony, right?
In a further show of solidarity with Ratner, the heavy gal from ‘Bridesmaids’ asked that her name be removed from consideration.
How do you say, “Dammit, Chloe!” in Standard Hindi?
We couldn’t include all the hats we wanted to, on account of my laziness.
Not to mess with Texas, but they probably could have dug deeper than San Antonio.
His wife was photographing him naked with another man. (Technically, that’s true.)
Ingredients: One dead cop, sheet metal, and a lot of love.
Yeah, Rocky’s on it.
Also, competent directing is for retards.
Running is boring, but somehow, these movies aren’t.
Because we’re sure that a Ratner film getting a lukewarm reception was some weird anomaly that will never happen again.
You can mourn the cheapening of the Muppets, I’m going to lament the loss of Robert Loggia’s artistic credibility.
Historians now agree that the wireless connection in the town of Deadwood, SD was spotty at best.
Unless they start selling large chunks of raw pumpkin, movie theater concession stands will never have my business.
Maybe they should just issue an Interpol notice about a huge woman in a trench coat and a hat?
If you were a fan of the original ‘Blade Runner’, well…well, there’s always the possibility you’ll like this film as well.
Because nobody want’s to see a movie about the people that manage Payless Shoes…except for me.
He told you not to touch them! And they’re “action figures” by the way.
Sorry, beloved film franchises…YOU JUST GOT RATNER-ED!!!
Yeah, we got pictures.
I still don’t know what a producer does, but it surprises me nonetheless that Lautner is capable of doing it.
It’s high time you started dressing like a fictional rape victim.
If you saw this picture and thought “Tyler Perry,” you’re a horrible racist.
Leave your sense of decorum and good taste at the door. You can pick them up when you’re done reading.
It’s the day after Halloween. I hope people still care about scary stuff.
I whittle down the field of cake programs to give you my bare-bones, seven favorites. It wasn’t easy.
Money can’t buy happiness, unless buying things makes you happy, in which case it can.