She doesn't seem like that bad of a boss.
‘Horrible Bosses’ To Tie Up All Its Loose Ends With A Sequel
Thursday, January 5 by

Oh man, I bet these bosses are gonna be sooooooo bad! Let’s go get drunk, guys!

When would I eat The Donald? That's none of your damn business. This list is contestants only, weirdo.
The New ‘Celebrity Apprentice’ Cast: Who Would I Eat First To Stay Alive?
Thursday, January 5 by

These are the most succulent contestants yet.

On an unrelated note, China's flight attendants are among the world's best-trained and deadliest.
China Found That 2/3 Of Their Shows Were Low-Brow, Cancelled Them All
Wednesday, January 4 by

I smell a rat… a big commie rat.

See ya at the crossroads, Kathy Griffin.
Screen Junkies’ Celebrity Death Predictions For 2012
Wednesday, January 4 by

We’re really going to miss some of these people if God forbid they die and I’m totally proven right.

This video is like a portal into my dark dreams.
It Was A Matter Of Time: ‘Toddlers And Tiaras’ Mom Dresses Daughter Up Like Lady Gaga
Wednesday, January 4 by

Are Laci’s fans Little Little Monsters?

The Great Leader will NOT be distracted by that guy to his right giving him the finger.
’30 Rock’ Is Doing Its Best In Dealing With This Kim Jong Il Business
Tuesday, January 3 by

What are they doing in response to the recent news of his death? Not much, man. Not much.

I DARE you to look at this map for five seconds and not get excited about Iowa.
Caucus This: 6 Films Set In Iowa
Tuesday, January 3 by

Because you’re really ignorant about which films have been set in Iowa.

Not on Rick's Netflix que...
7 Of Rick Santorum’s Least Favorite Films
Tuesday, January 3 by

All these movies are super gay. Get it?

I thought the whole point of the passage of time was that we didn't have to be subjected to films that look like this anymore.
A Guide To Seeming As Pretentious As Possible When Discussing ‘The Artist’
Monday, January 2 by

This film is widely regarded as a Greco-Roman clusterfuck of class.

Don't argue. Just knock it off.
9 90’s Movies We Need To Stop Quoting In 2012
Monday, January 2 by

If you find yourself about to quote one of these films, catch yourself and quote the works of Virgil instead.

Do you think if James Franco and Renee Zellweger had a child, it would be legally blind?
Timeline: The Year In James Franco
Thursday, December 29 by

I feel like I just spent the last year chronicling the things James Franco did last year.

Even though we aren't discussing this film, I can't stop giggling at how ridiculous this image is.
8 New Year’s Eve Films That Are As Hit-Or-Miss As The Night Itself
Thursday, December 29 by

We didn’t include ‘New Year’s Eve’ because we delight in subtlety here at Screen Junkies.

I wanted to memorialize all the girls I banged this summer with a photograph.
2011 Cable Ratings: More People Watching Good Shows, More People Watching Crap
Thursday, December 29 by

20% more people are watching crap like ’16 and Pregnant’.

Seconds later, his metamorphosis into Richie Belding was complete.
The “Ayk” Is Back: Dan Aykroyd To Try Being Funny Again
Wednesday, December 28 by

Let’s hope he does better than Eddie Murphy.

This year has left the juggernaut broken, battered, and bruised.
Netflix In 2011: How To Build Up, Then Destroy A Company In 12 Months
Wednesday, December 28 by

It’s been a bad year for Qwikster Netflix.

Pictured: A terrifying alien hooker.
Nerd Alert: An Alien-Themed Whorehouse Is Opening In Nevada
Wednesday, December 28 by

By clicking on this article, you are admitting you have alien-whore fantasies.

I don't even feel like examining the plot holes of this season. It feels like picking on a fat kid.
After An Abysmal Season, Can ‘Dexter’ Get Its Groove Back?
Wednesday, December 28 by

It’s a guilty pleasure in the vein of ‘True Blood’ but instead of sex and violence, ‘Dexter’ derives its guilt and pleasure from really shitty writing and logical leaps.

day-lewis-lincoln
Our 9 Most Anticipated Films Of 2012
Wednesday, December 28 by

Hi, I’m Abe. Wanna party?

Shockingly, they were all available.
12 Least Anticipated Films Of 2012
Tuesday, December 27 by

A great snack to enjoy while watching these films is Ambien.

Look at her pretending to love that asshole. That's acting, my friend.
The First Aunt Viv From ‘Fresh Prince’ Still Hates Will Smith
Tuesday, December 27 by

And the guy that played Jeffrey the Butler was constantly drunk and handsy. (My theory)

He looks like he's four seconds away from pulling out an acoustic guitar at a Bible camp.
Ben Affleck OWNS The ‘Bearded 70′s Guy’ Look In ‘Argo’
Tuesday, December 27 by

Only now do I feel that Affleck really EARNED the title of “Sexiest Man Alive.”

WHAT? It's the first pic that came up.
American Horror Story To Reboot Season 2 With The Same Cast
Thursday, December 22 by

Ryan Murphy is trying to set the record for “shortest duration from an original to a reboot.”

This is so fantastically terriffic.
8 Christmas Films With No Christmas Cheer
Thursday, December 22 by

All these explosions are ruining Christmas.

Harrison Ford is turning into Steven Spielberg.
Old Man Harrison Ford To Star In Adaptation Of Old Sci-Fi Book, ‘Ender’s Game’
Thursday, December 22 by

I hope this is the first role that let’s him wear that tiny little earring in character.

This photo was suggested by Marv's publicist.
20 Years Later, Marv Looks Back At His ‘Home Alone’ Burglary
Wednesday, December 21 by

Twenty years later, Marv looks back at what once was, what could have been, and what now is.

R. Kelly is making you a movie, baby.
R. Kelly Has Only Written 32 New Chapters Of ‘Trapped In The Closet’
Wednesday, December 21 by

Sure there were unanswered questions at the end of the first series, but they were mostly, “Why is R. Kelly doing this to us?”

Don't cry for them, Judd Apatow will scoop them up before they hit the ground.
HBO Kills ‘How To Make It In America’, ‘Bored To Death’, And ‘Hung’
Wednesday, December 21 by

Unless they were going to create a new day of the week, this was bound to happen.

The people responsible for this film are the real criminals.
Who Are The Real Villains In The ‘Wolverine’ Piracy Case?
Tuesday, December 20 by

The real monster here doesn’t have claws.

Can we take the next step and start worshipping this guy formally? Like as a religion?
Unhappy With The ‘Ghostbusters 3′ Script, Bill Murray Reportedly Shreds It, Sends It Back
Tuesday, December 20 by

“No one wants to pay money to see fat, old men chasing ghosts!”

There goes my erection.
‘Punk’d’ Is Coming Back So We Can All…Wait, Why Is ‘Punk’d’ Coming Back
Monday, December 19 by

Remember that awful three-year stretch when the receptionist at your office would always tell people they were getting “punk’d?” It’s going to happen again.