I'm wearing two Power Gloves as I type this.
9 Movie Toys We Want To Own
Thursday, September 1 by

My editor said I couldn’t count Patrick Bateman’s chainsaw from ‘American Psycho’ as a toy, so it didn’t make the list.

"See you after the holidays! Er...BRAAAAAAAAINNNNNSSSS!"
‘The Walking Dead’ Gets A Split Season, 90-Minute Premiere, Confused Fans
Thursday, September 1 by

They refuse to give us more than six episodes at a time. They get off on withholding…

Yellow today, guys?
9 Stinkers That Prove ‘Romancing The Stone: The Series’ Is A Bad Idea
Wednesday, August 31 by

It turns out that Clooney and Aniston made the same mistakes as Baio and Danza by starring in these stinkers.

Brains vs. Braun. No. Wait. Braun vs Braun.
Who Wins In A Battle Between Taylor Lautner And The Rock? That’s Right. The Audience Does.
Wednesday, August 31 by

David’s weakness will be his chipmunk teeth.

The zombies weren't the only thing limping along at the end of season one.
Here’s What ‘The Walking Dead’ Can Do Better In Season Two
Wednesday, August 31 by

We want “great, not good,” but season one gave us “good, not great.”

High school movies set unrealistically high dancing standards for children today.
Cut Loose: The 9 Greatest High School Dances In Film
Wednesday, August 31 by

For those of us who got too drunk to attend prom, this is the closest we’ll ever get.

"This son of a bitch deserved to die, Captain."
That Bastard Steven Seagal Ran Over 100 Chickens With A Tank
Tuesday, August 30 by

I guess he’s systematically slaughtering chickens now. Please, read on…

Pornography
Tips For Surviving The Great Porn Shutdown Of 2011
Tuesday, August 30 by

“Grandpa, where were you the day the porno stopped?”

Actin' Like An Animal (Here's My Scandal) - RIP Oscar
In Honor Of Oscar The Parrot’s Death: 9 Awesome Animal Actors
Monday, August 29 by

They’re our entertainment AND our food. Pretty versatile.

Holy mother of shit, this man is handsome.
Josh Brolin To Play A Revenge-Seeking Korean Man In ‘Oldboy’
Monday, August 29 by

But is he deft with a hammer?

Here we go again.
The 2011 MTV VMA’s: Blow By Painful Blow
Monday, August 29 by

The VMAs: Still just for weirdos anymore.

The hairstylist that gets this film is going to become a billionaire.
‘Flatliners’ Was Apparently Just Begging For A Remake
Friday, August 26 by

It’s not zombies, but it is dead people coming back to life. Wait. How is that not zombies?

Well, Woodrow Wilson didn't know about Tila Tequila.
9 Women In Hollywood Who Shouldn’t Be Allowed To Vote
Friday, August 26 by

In honor of the 91st birthday of the 19th Amendment…

Don't pretend that we don't all know where Gerard's right hand is. She loves it.
Fox’s Possible (Sigh) ‘Romancing The Stone’ Remake Would Star (Sigh) Gerard Butler And Katherine Heigl
Friday, August 26 by

It would be a crime if younger generations didn’t have a remake of ‘Romancing the Stone’ that they could call their own.

"Be a doll and fetch me my 'InStyle'."
9 Beloved Children’s Characters Who Are Obviously Gay
Friday, August 26 by

Don’t worry. This whole article is handled in a tremendously delicate, tasteful manner.

Murray or bust.
Dan Aykroyd Says Ghostbusters Moving Along With Or Without Bill Murray (Please With)
Thursday, August 25 by

Aykroyd says they’re doing it with or without Bill Murray, which means I might see the film or I might not.

"I don't wanna hear Sixpence None the Richer!"
Enough, Already: 9 Songs That Are Wildly Overused In Film
Thursday, August 25 by

This list could constitute a ten year-old’s playlist for two years.

A little "on the nose," don't you think?
Instead Of David Arquette, These 9 Actors Should Sign On For ‘Dancing With The Stars’
Thursday, August 25 by

Because we’re tired of watching happy, attractive people dance.

'Treme' actor Michael Showers
‘Treme’ Actor Michael Shower Found Dead In Very ‘Treme’ Fashion
Thursday, August 25 by

Life imitating art, imitating life. An unnervingly meta tragedy.

Watch your back...
These 6 Movie Characters Will Steal Your Girlfriend
Wednesday, August 24 by

Accept your fate.

Why so glum, Crow? Oh. Right.
One Of These Five Actors Should Replace Bradley Cooper In ‘The Crow’
Wednesday, August 24 by

Just pick on of these five and make the damn movie. Or we can all just watch the original and enjoy that for the next 20 years. That sounds nice, too.

"Ughhhhhhh...UGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
Season 2 Clips Of ‘The Walking Dead’ Predictably Feature People Hiding From, Attacked By Zombies
Wednesday, August 24 by

“Less talk, more zombies” would appear to be the approach the show is taking in season 2. Works for me.

Paris after hearing her own life described out loud.
Paris Hilton’s Show Cancelled. Also, Paris Hilton Had A TV Show.
Wednesday, August 24 by

This frees her up to get back to her real passions: Making fish-faces for paparazzi and banging guys who drive yellow Lamborghinis.

Amanda Peet (Left) | Some Dude Who Used To Be Kind of Funny (Right)
The Worst Movie Wives And Girlfriends Of The Past 20 Years
Wednesday, August 24 by

Unfortunately, they’re also all kind of hot. Hmmmm…

This is Tugboat. He is awesome.
The Rock And Jerry Bruckheimer Are Ready To Rumble With 80′s Wrestling Drama
Tuesday, August 23 by

Their problems will be very real. Their wrestling will be very fake.

You gotta know when to fold 'em.
7 Film Roles Will Smith Should Have Divorced
Tuesday, August 23 by

Will Smith should have “separated” himself from these awful films.

RIP, Frank
Jimmy Kimmel’s ‘Uncle Frank’ Dead At 77
Tuesday, August 23 by

Guillermo is not a suspect.

Enron. Madoff. Globo-Gym.
The Most Evil Businesses In Movie History
Tuesday, August 23 by

The make Enron look like…well, Enron is probably still worse than these guys.

Bourdain's thinkin' Rachel's looking pretty "yum-o" herself.
The Sh*t-Talking Chronicles Of Anthony Bourdain
Friday, August 19 by

He must have been a huge hit at the Christmas Party.

"You've got something in your ear. It's my heart."
15 Possible Titles For Will Smith’s New ‘MIB III’ Song
Friday, August 19 by

Bearing in mind that jiggyness and the city of Miami have already been covered.