Would the owner of the Pontiac Vibe please move their car from Mr. West's reserved parking spot?
Kanye West To Possibly Bring His Brand Of Crazy To ‘American Idol’
Tuesday, August 21 by

I guess reanimating Michael Jackson’s corpse a la ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’ wasn’t so viable after all.

This type of flaming bullshit doesn't fly in Kiev.
Ukraine Sick Of Spongebob Squarepants Being So Gay, Seeks To Ban Him
Tuesday, August 21 by

These pineapples under the sea are quickly turning into Fire Island

John Goodman in what I can only presume is some sort of movie role.
John Goodman Might Join ‘The Hangover III’ *Crickets, Wolf Howl, Tumbleweed Rolling By*
Monday, August 20 by

Oh, man. This is gonna be so…mediocre.

"Robert Langdon Tom Hanks" is one of my top 12 favorite Tom Hanks looks.
Tom Hanks Thinks The Kennedy Assassination Is The New World War II
Monday, August 20 by

“…back and to the left. Back…and to the left.”

SIMILAR NAME ALERT!
Police Looking To Arrest Walter White For Cooking Lots Of Meth
Friday, August 17 by

Yes, we know the difference between fiction and reality.

Smile, John Slattery. You're awesome.
John Slattery To Appear On ‘Arrested Development’ In Awesome Display Of Synergy
Thursday, August 16 by

He probably seduced Lucille Bluth back in the 60′s.

Heyyyyyyy girrrrrrrllllllll.
Lucy Lawless To Play A Swanson Love Interest On ‘Parks And Recreation’
Thursday, August 16 by

I hope he doesn’t get his mustache rubbed off again.

Screen shot 2012-08-15 at 4.16.47 PM
Shia LaBeouf Giving Up Blockbusters, After Making Like 20 Of Them
Wednesday, August 15 by

“I’m done,” says the guy who has the luxury of saying that because the thing he’s done with has made him very rich.

Sweathog reunion in heaven.
Horshack From ‘Welcome Back, Kotter’ Died
Wednesday, August 15 by

Up your nose with a rubber hose…in heaven.

A photo of rap mogul Jay-Z before undergoing his pre-concert blackening.
Ron Howard, The Blackest Director We Know, Naturally Directing Jay-Z Documentary
Wednesday, August 15 by

Ya got a little dirt on your shoulder there, Opie.

I hope the person left standing gets clocked in the face with a folding chair. I would watch that.
Extreme Musical Chairs Premieres Tonight With The CW’s ‘Oh Sit!’
Wednesday, August 15 by

“‘Oh Sit!’? More like…’Oh F*ck!’”

Nell will straight up fucking murder you if you don't make that vig payment.
Jodie Foster Directing A Sort-Of Female ‘Sopranos’
Tuesday, August 14 by

“Quit bustin’ my labia.”

I would cite this photo in my "We're used to touching heads, and I just got carried away" defense.
Chad ‘Ochocinco’ Johnson Head-Butts His Wife, Loses His VH1 Reality Show
Tuesday, August 14 by

He should change his name to “Chad Head-o Butt-o.”

Weird that he has a really hot girlfriend. That really could have gone either way.
Aaron Paul To Sign On For ‘Long Way Down’, Reminding Us ‘Breaking Bad’ Won’t Last Forever
Tuesday, August 14 by

Is it too early to clamor for a Cranston-Paul reunion? And bring the guy who plays Badger, too.

They're already pretty much there anyway.
CNN Might Feature Some Non-News Shows To Boost Its Lousy News-y Ratings
Monday, August 13 by

I don’t watch news, and I don’t watch reality TV, so whatever CNN does here won’t get me to watch.

BRICK AND RON.
Ferrell And Carell To Star In ‘Swear To God’, Written By Justin Theroux
Monday, August 13 by

Together, they form a triumvirate of laughter.

This is the collective expression America made at the suspension of prisoners' civil liberties.
Guantanamo Bay Detainees Are Enjoying ‘Fresh Prince’ In Jail, And Who Can Blame Them?
Friday, August 10 by

The judge decided to suspend habeas corpus and yelled, “Yo homes, smell ya later!”

Someone just dumped a tall glass of handsome on this man. Get a towel.
Ben Affleck Is Offered ‘Justice League’ DC’s Slower, Smellier Brother To Marvel’s ‘The Avengers’
Thursday, August 9 by

Does this create a conflict of interest that will keep him from reprising Daredevil? We hope so.

That's our ALF!!!! *collapses into ball, cries*
THE ALF CGI FILM IS A GO! NO TIME TO TALK! JUST READ!
Thursday, August 9 by

Remember ALF? He’s back! In crappy TV adaptation form!

SPANK BANK.
Kelsey Grammer, Cop Show, ‘Freakonomics’ – It’s Not Mad Libs, It’s An NBC Show
Wednesday, August 8 by

Mustn’t See TV.

Not this 'Hobbit', but you get the idea.
Very Few People Will Actually Get To See ‘The Hobbit’s Revolutionary 3D Presentation
Wednesday, August 8 by

It’s too bad, because I was already starting eye exercises to prepare for the adjustment.

Hurry up, please, gang.
‘Arrested Development’ Has Started Filming New Episodes
Tuesday, August 7 by

Here’s where I would put an apt quote, but instead I’m gonna use Zuckercorn’s “Those? Those are balls!”

If I wanted to see a bunch of weed on an island, I'd start back up dealing drugs at Hilton Head, thanks very much.
Today In Timely News: Fox To Turn ‘The Beach’ Into A Series
Tuesday, August 7 by

How weird would it be if Leo DiCaprio reprised his role?

All of these people overpaid for a bad movie and their dumb little glasses.
Movie Tickets More Expensive Than Ever, While Movie Quality Hits All-Time Low
Tuesday, August 7 by

“Four for ‘Hotel for Dogs 2: Concierge’s Revenge’, please.”

R.C.
The Lost Roles Of Rob Corddry
Tuesday, August 7 by

A celebration of the comedic actor’s lesser-known roles.

Casual Friday on set.
Take A Look At The Many Faces Of Hugo Weaving In ‘Cloud Atlas’
Friday, August 3 by

In 25% of the photos, he’s not heinous.

I imagine that Phillip Seymour Hoffman could play over 90% of these characters.
Hey Nerds, That ‘World Of Warcraft’ Movie Is Still In The Works
Friday, August 3 by

Leeroy Jenkins.

Don't step to them.
The 7 Greatest Ensemble Casts Of All Time
Friday, August 3 by

We’re big into the group scene here at SJ.

Pirates: not as cool as the ones in the movies.
Here Are The Effects Of Online Piracy
Wednesday, August 1 by

A thorough infographic as to the costs of online piracy.

"Boop!"
Vince Vaughn Is Producing A ‘Brady Bunch’ Reboot For CBS. (I Swear To God, That’s What The News Is Saying.)
Wednesday, August 1 by

It will be just like the old one, only way less original!