I think the monkey symbolizes truth. Or a monkey.

Another day, another announcement of a film adaptation of a bastardized literary character set in modern times protecting humans from various supernatural monsters.

The departure of Jennifer Lawrence means that Oliver Stone must reach out to the next three biggest stars in young Hollywood.

Sarah Gadon is quickly becoming the Viggo Mortensen of actresses.

To answer your question, no. Nothing from your childhood is sacred anymore.

Terrence Malick is fully aware that the ‘Tree of Life’ poster looks like something Wes Anderson would do, so avert those judging eyes.

Viggo is just too damn good for this Disney crap.

The Venn diagram of “people interested in this film” and “males” is two separate, non-overlapping circles.

I want my mom. I’m fine. I just want my mom.

We can commence the “Mila Kunis-Bad Witch” fantasy without having to worry about hearing from Disney’s counsel.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt has been confirmed and Juno Temple rumored for roles in ‘The Dark Knight Rises.’

Tony Chu is a federal agent who gets clues from eating. Get it? “Chew?”

Michael Shannon does not play a very convincing teenager.

This will be the third ‘Spider-Man’ film he’s written that hasn’t seen theaters.

This man is paid to frustrate and confuse film audiences.

Five out of five Dr. Zoidbergs agree.

An exciting actor for an exciting rol…*snooze*

‘Games of 1940′ will probably be released in November of 2012, then again in March of 2013 after it wins Best Picture.

The last thing you would want to convey to a young audience is that sex with the likes of Jon Hamm is anything less than mind-blowing.

Is America ready for an awful movie about marijuana?

Kenan no longer needs to refer to his studio apartment as “The House that ‘Fat Albert’ built.”

Much as you should be avoiding Japan and Libya right now, it is highly recommended that you avoid San Francisco May 3- May 15.

A Hollywood studio was not able to create a remake out of something. Read that sentence again. The end is nigh.

Haha, Hans Gruber! Mega-heists aren’t so awesome when they’re happening to you, are they?

Well, it looks like Johnny Depp will get to play an entirely new type of off-kilter fop in The Thin Man

Don’t even be surprised if they get Mears to reprise his role as the hockey-masked serial killer, just to dial up the weird to 11.

HBO has shock collars on all its “Sopranos” alumni.

In three months, expect Kiefer to be milling about the USC campus, handing out “Student Filmmakers Wanted!” fliers.

Doug Liman will be direct a movie about a worldly operative that isn’t named “Bourne.”

Connie Britton has spectacular breasts. Also, she’s joining Ryan Murphy’s “American Horror Story.”