All joking aside, he looks like he's the type of guy who would have sleep apnea in a big way.
Tyler Perry Will Be Returning In An Alex Cross Sequel With A Comically Lazy Title
Thursday, October 18 by

Is it called ‘Double Cross’? Yes. Yes, it f*cking is.

He's awfully cocksure for someone occupying a supply closet.
Heathcliff Is Getting A CGI Film. No, Not Garfield. Heathcliff.
Wednesday, October 17 by

Because this is the type of news you need to know two years out from the film’s release.

This is how I looked when I caught wind of this story. Only I had more cocaine on my face.
The ‘Scarface’ Remake Is Now In The Hands Of The ‘Donnie Brasco’ Writer
Wednesday, October 17 by

In this version, instead of yelling his famous catchphrase, he posts it on Twitter with the hashtag #littlefriend.

Goddamn, Jay-Z is a cool guy.
Beyoncé To Headline Super Bowl Halftime Show, Teach Me How To Type Accent Marks
Tuesday, October 16 by

In other Destiny’s Child news, Kelly Rowland has confirmed she’ll be attending a buffet tonight for dinner.

With news of this reboot, Earnest would be in tall cotton! If he wasn't long dead.
They’re Rebooting The ‘Ernest’ Movies…I Know, Right? Crazy!
Tuesday, October 16 by

David Lynch directs or GTFO.

Vroom...VROOOOOOOOM!
‘Robocop’ Reboot Pushed Back To 2014 To Make Way For ‘Elysium’
Tuesday, October 16 by

Finally, a headline that makes sense. Neill Blomkamp‘s sci-fi epic Elysium has been moved from March 2013 to August 9, 2013, suggesting that Sony’s faith in the project has grown….

It's the "Emma Watson" setting on Instagram, I believe.
Season Two Of HBO’s ‘Girls’ Will Premiere In January, Says Lena Dunham
Monday, October 15 by

It’s on Twitter, which was we all know is a legally binding contract.

Yeah. This seems like a pretty good fit.
Prince And Lady Gaga To Soundtrack The ‘Gatsby’ Film, The Way Fitzgerald Would Have Wanted It
Monday, October 15 by

Because Luhrmann loves period pieces with contemporary music. Juxtaposition!

He's thinking about sending Coach Taylor over to tell Mitt he knows better than that and to use his damn head.
Peter Berg Wants Mitt Romney To Stop Using ‘Friday Night Lights’ Slogan
Friday, October 12 by

“Keep this up and you’ll end up in a wheelchair just like Jason Street,” is what Berg could have said in his letter, but didn’t.

Behold, the house on Mockingbird Lane.
That NBC Munster’s Pilot Is Going To Air Around…HALLOWEEN!
Thursday, October 11 by

You will get only one chance to say, “I saw that ‘Munsters’ reboot. It wasn’t that good.’” This is it.

Hey Al, what's a ten-letter word for someone who administers fellatio?
Ian McShane Will Class Up ‘American Horror Story’ This Fall
Thursday, October 11 by

McShane fits this role perfectly because he’s so good….IT’S SCARY.

This pictures shows fashion sense isn't necessarily a function of intellect.
The Dumb Little Kid From ‘Modern Family’ Is Wayyyy Smarter Than All Of Us
Wednesday, October 10 by

You think he’s one of those obnoxious kids that goes around asking everyone dumb riddles?

What?
It’s Going To Take A Very Specific Set Of Skills To Make ‘Taken 3′ Not Suck
Tuesday, October 9 by

They producers are going to take you. And when they grab you, yell out all the information that you can so that I can find you.

He's typing his own death certificate. Morbid.
‘The Technology Is Where We Need It’ To Greenlight A ‘Peanuts’ Film
Tuesday, October 9 by

I can’t wait to hear Skrillex’ version of “Linus and Lucy.”

This room will be their purgatory.
Today In ‘Oh, NBC!’: ‘Whitney’ And ‘Community’ Premieres Delayed Indefinitely
Monday, October 8 by

I can’t believe they’re doing this to ‘Community’! And to a much lesser extent, ‘Whitney’.

NOW that's a woman I would take advice from.
Lena Dunham Goes From Making Edgy, Progressive Television To Writing Tired, Non-Essential Literature
Monday, October 8 by

Good idea, bad title.

Insatiable ball-guzzlers.
‘Hungry Hungry Hippos’ Movie Moves Forward. Somewhere, An Angel Dies.
Thursday, October 4 by

The balls will be played by Andy Serkis.

Brace yourself for some truly terrible medical care.
Nicki Minaj, Who Looks Like Kind Of A Bitch, Upset That Mariah Carey Called Her A Bitch
Wednesday, October 3 by

TMZ, our de facto newsgathering partner on uneventful days, has broken news that Nicki Minaj was responding to Mariah Carey’s insults when she went off on the on the diva….

Still holding out for the spinoff 'Here Comes Chalky!'
Boardwalk Empire Already Given One More Season To Live Up To Its Potential
Wednesday, October 3 by

In case that wasn’t clear, it was renewed for season four.

BUT WILL THEY STILL PLAY ADULT CONTEMPORARY JAZZ?
The Weather Channel Will Be Naming Storms Now, And There’s Nothing Any Of Us Can Do About
Tuesday, October 2 by

Finally, some news we care about!!!

A nation of weirdos mourns.
NBC Passing On That ‘Munsters’ Reboot, Probably So They Can Pick Up Something Even Worse
Tuesday, October 2 by

It’s too logical a decision, so let’s all wait for the other shoe to drop.

"Cashew-Nut."
Many Of The Christopher Guest Regulars Will Be On Christopher Guest’s HBO Show
Thursday, September 27 by

Stands to reason, no?

Steve Buscemi proving it is possible to be "half a gangster" when a woodchipper is involved.
Aw Geez, FX To Launch ‘Fargo’ TV Show, Don’tcha Know?
Tuesday, September 25 by

But not a word has been spoken regarding Jose Feliciano’s involvement.

Watch the film and you'll see why he looks that way!
The 7 Best Movie Face-Offs
Monday, September 24 by

I didn’t include the movie ‘Face/Off’ because it was too on the nose, and that’s just not what we at Screen Junkies are about.

Wolverine lives for casual fridays.
Things That Run Through My Mind With This Still Of Hugh Jackman In The New ‘Wolverine’
Monday, September 24 by

Caution: Muscles.

You're not Ron Swanson!
Last Night’s Emmys Pleased Us And Infuriated Us
Monday, September 24 by

You make it so hard to love you, Emmys.

I like him better when his hair is sheveled. It makes me much more combobulated.
Fox And Seth MacFarlane To Collaborate For The Millionth Time
Friday, September 21 by

The writers of ‘Ted’ are also involved, so no need to introduce everyone to each other.

"May I please speak to whoever is in charge of shitty nostalgic TV adaptations? Thank you."
A CGI ‘Mister Ed’ Movie Is Going To Be Made, So Everyone Can Just Calm The F*ck Down
Friday, September 21 by

Move over, Marmaduke, there’s a new obnoxious CGI talking animal in town.

Classic del Toro, all right.
Guillermo Del Toro’s Involvement Makes The Idea Of FX’s New Vampire Drama Somehow Palatable
Thursday, September 20 by

I should be frothing at the mouth in anger after hearing “vampire drama.”

Gandolfini, demonstrating less-than-spectacular dexterity.
HBO, Missing James Gandolfini’s Labored Breathing, Recruits Him For ‘Criminal Justice’
Thursday, September 20 by

HBO is ready to take him out of their freezer.