This is the savior of NBC.
Jimmy Fallon Sells Three Scripts To NBC. This Can’t Be Good.
Friday, October 21 by

The shows are called ‘DILFs’, ‘Fat Rob’, and ‘Rick’. Please, keep reading.

The fact that lobbies more often resemble train stations than movie theaters is a big part of the problem.
Will We Keep Going To Theaters To See Movies?
Friday, October 21 by

Movie theaters are scared that they’re losing you to your home theater. Here’s what they’re doing about it.

I'm sure producers are wondering what they can do to bring the show up to Sheen's standards.
Charlie Sheen Is ‘Very Disappointed’ With The New ‘Two And A Half Men’, Chuck Lorre Weeps
Friday, October 21 by

Jon Cryer is doing everything he can, but it just doesn’t seem to be enough.

Theirs was a pure love. And now it's gone.
The New ‘Muppets’ Film Does NOT Have The Frank Oz Seal Of Approval
Friday, October 21 by

So Jason Segel is picking up Frank Oz’s Muppet scraps. Yeah, that sounds about right.

Give this girl her own show. Now.
Sally Draper And 6 Other TV Kids I Don’t Want To Smack
Thursday, October 20 by

I would adopt any of these kids, but I would secretly hope for Michael and Sally.

Make no mistake - this man is selfish and horrible.
George Romero Doesn’t Watch, Turned Down Offers To Direct ‘The Walking Dead’
Thursday, October 20 by

How great would it be if the ‘Night of the Living Dead’ guy directed a ‘Walking Dead’ episode? Eh. Not that great, really.

Don't feel bad. Even Uma Thurman fell for it.
12 Proto-Hipsters Who Were In Movies Before It Was Cool
Thursday, October 20 by

What did one hipster say to the other? Nothing, he was just mumbling because I kicked all his teeth out with my steel-toed boot.

Make no mistake, this man is a soldier.
Right Away, Sir: The 7 Best Assistants And Butlers From TV And Film
Thursday, October 20 by

Of course Alfred made the list. Don’t ask stupid questions.

I would be more intrigued to know what The Rock couldn't use as a weapon.
The 9 Greatest Makeshift Movie Weapons
Wednesday, October 19 by

Did you know that a baseball bat can be used as a weapon? You did? Shit. Well, so can these other weird things.

RDJ was able to bounce back!
7 Anti-Drug Films That Make Us Really Want To Do Drugs
Tuesday, October 18 by

Yeah, I know, I know. “Don’t do drugs.”

They should have drawn a dick on his face. (I would be the worst journalist.)
This News Team Can’t Wake Up Harry Belafonte!!!
Tuesday, October 18 by

I bet he was dreaming about waffles. I sometimes dream about waffles.

He's already dating Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, which is pretty much the only requirement for the gig.
‘Transformers’ Might Shoot Installments 4 And 5 Back-To-Back With Jason Statham
Tuesday, October 18 by

Will Jason Statham help the franchise garner critical success to match its commercial success? Nope.

George Lucas was apparently able to find an Eddie Bauer store on a planet far, far away.
Hey, George Lucas! This ‘Star Wars’ Producer Didn’t Like The Prequels Either
Monday, October 17 by

He doesn’t say it outright, but I get the feeling he’s not a fan of the films due to their overall shittiness.

He lives his life 500 miles at a time.
In Memory Of Dan Wheldon: Our 7 Favorite Movie Race Car Drivers
Monday, October 17 by

Taxi drivers don’t count, because they can’t really drive.

"Live long and brunch."
Set Phasers To Gay: Star Trek’s Zachary Quinto Comes Out
Monday, October 17 by

Now gay teens will get bullied for being nerds.

Sadly, this is one of the better works by entrants on this list.
6 Musicians With “Talent” Behind the Camera
Monday, October 17 by

Mediocre musicians make mediocre filmmakers. Great musicians make mediocre filmmakers. Crappy musicians never get enough attention to become filmmakers.

Just realized how old that tape on his hand is. Gross, Iceman!
‘Top Gun 2′ Has Some Writers, But No Word On The Story
Friday, October 14 by

I’m hoping they re-imagine the volleyball scene by making it less gay. Or more gay. Either way is great with me.

Pretty fitting that they named this film after one of the most frequently disappointing days of the year.
Garry Marshall’s ‘New Year’s Eve’ Poster Seems To Focus On Homeless Hector Elizondo
Friday, October 14 by

It’s nice to watch other couples go through the same things we do, like fights with Josh Duhamel and difficulty getting Sarah Jessica Parker pregnant.

No amount of prep could ready you for sex with this guy.
9 Films That Probably Required Some Very Unpleasant Actor Preparation
Friday, October 14 by

The level of preparation that some of Hollywood’s most popular films require might surprise you.

I'm no theologian, but I'll be f*cked if he's not one of the five people you meet in heaven.
The Many Looks Of William George (Billy) Zane Jr.
Thursday, October 13 by

“Put a cork in it, Billy Zane.”

It is now a matter of fact that the Chechen president's birthday party was "Swank-y."
Hilary Swank Has To Apologize For Partying With A Chechen Tyrant
Thursday, October 13 by

This controversy could cause her to lose her title of “The Next Karate Kid.”

May Mr. Christopher Cheney take solace in the blizzard of high fives he received immediately following the disemination of the pictures.
Scarlett Johansson Nude Photo Hacker Could Get 121 Years
Wednesday, October 12 by

If some dude’s gonna get over a century of jail time, I want Olivia Wilde or higher.

The phone is a goddamn hamburger.
If Phone Calls In The Real World Were Like Phone Calls In The Movies
Wednesday, October 12 by

A recent survey shows that 96% of phone calls placed today are coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!!!

This is how I felt writing this piece.
24 ‘Die Hard 5′ Titles That Make ‘A Good Day to Die Hard’ Look Brilliant
Wednesday, October 12 by

It could have been much worse.

He looks half-surprised by this announcement.
Let’s Celebrate HBO’s Renewal Of ‘Boardwalk Empire’ With A Glass Of Cold Buttermilk!
Wednesday, October 12 by

It’s going to be like one of those series where the kids never leave high school, only the kids are bootleggers and the high school is prohibition.

I wonder where he bought that kick-ass shirt?
6 Of The Best War Documentaries Of All Time
Wednesday, October 12 by

I like war so much it’s hard to pick a favorite.

This shit's gonna be in the Hall of Presidents one day. A hall that features his narration, by the way.
Morgan Freeman For President In 2012
Wednesday, October 12 by

If you have a better candidate, I’m all ears.

Haven't the Haitians suffered enough?
16 Zombies On ‘Resident Evil’ Set Injured In Secretly-Funny Disaster
Tuesday, October 11 by

Now all the zombie will be limping and dragging their feet as they walk. Who’s going to believe that?

How "urban" can a movie set in rural Louisiana get?
They Got My Letters! Lifetime To Remake ‘Steel Magnolias’ With All-Black Cast
Tuesday, October 11 by

If someone offered me a wager on whether or not this iteration will contain more or less sass, I would put my money on “more.”

Sexy face, sexy outfit, sexy girl.
9 Actresses Hotter Than Rihanna, Esquire’s Sexiest Woman Alive
Tuesday, October 11 by

But would they make good mothers? Just kidding. I don’t care.