Woody Allen is going whole hog after the “people who love actors with annoying cadences” demographic with these two choices.

If you ever wanted to see a room of NPR listeners adopt a thousand-yard stare as they pretend to know how hard life can be, this is your chance.

In my mind at least, The Crow has always been a really handsome preppy guy with insane abs.

They say the best revenge is living well, and Kosinski seems to be living well with Universal on one arm and Tom Cruise on the other (not in a gay way).

Joaquin Phoenix can play “drunk weirdo” in his sleep, as this picture demonstrates. Maybe his recent behavior was him just prepping.

Sean Penn will probably not look like this for his role as an ex-special forces operative. But it would be cool if he did.

If the Wachowskiscan get gold from Keanu Reeves, they should be able to get enriched uranium from Tom Hanks.

Because it’s ‘The Dark Knight Rises’, we’re legally obligated to give this guy his own news article.

There will be three Wonder Woman outfits. One for every person that watches the show.

“This one time….I helped my under-employed former co-stars get work…”

For those saying Alec Baldwin is a bitter, jaded Hollywood monster: He still beams after one-night stands with models.

Sadly, this is not a still from either film.

Duncan Jones and Hugh Jackman may be uniting in the face of adversity. That dream I had last night is coming true!

Mr. Caan is declaring war on entertainment technology with the most powerful weapon in his arsenal: unbridled machismo.

This is Willem Dafoe trying to frown. His face is stuck this way.

I’m hoping she was cast as the lady with three breasts.

Wouldn’t it be cool if he was able to make it look like some of the X-Men were flying? Like, without wires or anything? That would be pretty neat.

Why the long face, Jeff? Oh, right. Clinical depression. Sorry, I forgot about that.

Great directors, great guys.

This man has forgotten more about sex than you’ve ever learned.

Arnold to give patrolling the US borders one more shot.

This is the spot where I would put a fitting quote from ‘Romeo and Juliet’. I wish I was smarter.

He couldn’t just let a perfectly good can of mustache wax go to waste, guys.

Redford will play the guy that introduced the batting helmet to the majors. Also, he helped tear down the color barrier, but mostly the helmet thing.

I don’t care if this casting decision makes any sense. I love it. It’s genius.

Wanna see how excited William Fichtner is about this news? Click and find out.

Carrie-Anne Moss’s career path recently has led her to seriously consider a career in bartending and/or heavy drinking.

Sly could have waited a few days at least out of consideration for Wayne Kramer’s feelings, but that’s just not who Sly is.

Hopefully, it’s a story about how a bunch of them died in a fire.

Netflix bought the streaming rights to “Mad Men” for as much as $100 million. That’s almost $1 for every cigarette smoked on that show.