Einstein will be played by Nathan Lane.
‘Back To The Future’ To Become A Super-Timely Musical?
Thursday, February 2 by

Anyone want to wager on whether or not there’s a number entitled “Great Scott?”

Are you flirting with me, Mr. Grohl?
Dave Grohl And Dana Gould To Seemingly Spoof Metallica In New FX Show
Thursday, February 2 by

It could be like ‘Best In Show’, but with rock stars! That’s never been done, has it?

"I said I would not be answering questions about the nature of my relationship with Nicole Richie. This interview is over."
It’s Groundhog Day, So Here Are Our 7 Favorite Film And TV Rodents
Thursday, February 2 by

I’d let these guys crawl up my toilet any day. It’s not just gators that do that, folks.

She's remained silent far too long on the topic of corporate hubris.
Tyler Perry To Take On Wall Street The Only Way He Can: By Masquerading As A Giant Black Lady
Wednesday, February 1 by

I wish I was alive to audit a college course on Black cinema when they reach “The Tyler Perry era,” and the professor just sighs.

Pretty soon, we won't even need the popcorn, but rather will just have these bridging the gap between the butter fountain and my mouth.
Baja Innovations Has A New Way To Butter Your Popcorn (Not A Metaphor)
Wednesday, February 1 by

In the future, every kernel will glisten, and every finger will be greased.

This is how he summons evil.
7 Movie Villains Who Are Less Sinister Than Bill Belichick
Wednesday, February 1 by

Man, this guy is the worst.

I wouldn't put this guy in charge of watering my plants for the weekend.
Adam Sandler To Star In And Write ‘Candy Land’ Movie, Because F*ck You, That’s Why
Tuesday, January 31 by

Adam Sandler sucks. That’s it. That’s my excerpt.

Hee-Haaaaaaaw!
The Girls Who Drank Donkey Semen On ‘Fear Factor’ Are Kind Of Hot
Tuesday, January 31 by

Also, they drink donkey semen.

Simon Cowell held her nose like this for forty-five minutes. It looks like she's starting to pass out.
Smell Ya Later, ‘X Factor’!: 6 New Careers For Paula Abdul
Tuesday, January 31 by

Please get back on TV, Paula. This news makes us feel dead inside.

Must not be a Dolphin fan.
10 Awesome Acting Performances By Former Football Players
Tuesday, January 31 by

“Laces out,” and so on…

What's not to like about this guy?
RIP: A Tribute Ian Abercrombie (A.K.A. Mr. Pitt From ‘Seinfeld’)
Monday, January 30 by

If you don’t know who ‘Seinfeld’s Mr. Pitt is, you can just get out right now. LEAVE!!!

Will Franklin be back to point out our cracker asses?
All Original Stars From ‘Arrested Development’ Are On Board For Netflix Relaunch
Monday, January 30 by

With this long-awaited project, we’ll be sure to let you know when things go wrong as well as when they go right.

Sorry, friend. You'll have to wait another day for your big break.
‘Fear Factor’ Donkey Semen Episode Won’t See The Light Of Day
Monday, January 30 by

If you want to see people chug donkey semen, you’ll have to go where our fathers went – Mexican border towns.

Just one of the myriad 'Chuck' moments I won't regret having missed.
43 Things I Care About More Than The Series Finale Of ‘Chuck’
Friday, January 27 by

‘Chuck’ fans probably won’t like this very much.

Stupid-Ass Wolves!
Shock: Biologist Calls Bullsh*t On Wolves In ‘The Grey’
Friday, January 27 by

He wants to trick us into thinking that wolves won’t eat us and our love ones at the first opportunity.

This picture requires no caption.
Hulk Hogan Says Hulk Hogan Was Offered A Starring Role In ‘The Wrestler’
Friday, January 27 by

The studio decided to go in a different direction, citing the rising costs of bandanas and mustache bleach.

Other than just by doing this, of course.
19 Ways Madonna Can ‘Bring Gay’ To The Super Bowl
Friday, January 27 by

This article contains phrases like “bear,” “pig bottom,” “riding crop,” and “Tim Tebow.”

This is trashier than whip-its, but not by much.
7 Scandals More Ghetto Than Demi Moore Using Nitrous
Thursday, January 26 by

What America wants to know is: Does she have any left?

With all these pot busts, you'd think Sierra Blanca PD could get a less ghetto height-measuring scale.
The Lone Ranger (Armie Hammer) Was Busted For Weed, Man
Thursday, January 26 by

His parents are gonna be pisssssssssssed!

Maybe he could meet a gentleman named Walter White while touring the American Southwest and go on some crossover adventures.
Having Forgotten About ‘Joey’, NBC Considers A Dwight Spin-off From ‘The Office’
Thursday, January 26 by

I like this idea. I might not watch it, but I like it.

After he saved my life so many times...now it's my turn.
‘More Than I Bargained For’ (Dabney Coleman Erotic Fan Fiction)
Thursday, January 26 by

A movie set turns deadly as I visit my good friend Dabney Coleman.

This is happening. This is real.
New Reality Show Will Combine My Two Least-Favorite Things: DJs And Simon Cowell
Thursday, January 26 by

Wardrobe by Urban Outfitters.

I would let her interview me.
Chloe Sevigny Joins ‘Lovelace’ As An “Exhausted” Demi Moore Bails
Wednesday, January 25 by

When God shuts a Demi Moore, he opens a Chloe Sevigny.

Jay, you have made an enemy of Randeep Dhillon of Bakersfield, CA. Prepare to face his wrath.
Jay Leno’s Jokes Are So Unfunny People Are Suing Him
Wednesday, January 25 by

The plaintiff here is so misguided that it compels me to side with Leno. This is shaping up to be a weird day.

"Set phasers to 'homeless'"
Divorce Causes Nerd To Lose His ‘Star Trek’ Dream Home
Wednesday, January 25 by

That’s why you never improve property you don’t own. A cold lesson here, folks.

That's the focused look of a man who isn't distracted by temptations of the flesh.
‘Project Runway’ Star Tim Gunn Hasn’t Had Sex In 29 Years. Think About THAT!
Tuesday, January 24 by

That glow that you get after sex? I guess you can get that from cosmetics, too.

The most desired man in Hollywood, after Ryan Gosling.
Get to Know The 2012 Oscar Nominees, You Rube
Tuesday, January 24 by

Let’s go ahead and judge these films the best way we know how – on appearances.

Take a note, sorority girls. THIS is the walk of shame.
8 Cinematic Choke Jobs That Billy Cundiff Would Appreciate
Tuesday, January 24 by

Ironically enough, the Sam Rockwell film ‘Choke’ doesn’t make the list.

Why do you hate your readers so much, Variety?
Frank Darabont And ‘Variety’ May Have Just Dropped A Big Spoiler For ‘The Walking Dead’
Monday, January 23 by

‘Variety’ did its job, but at what price. AT WHAT PRICE, VARIETY????

Whips and chains and fists excite her.
8 Movie And TV Characters Who, Like Chris Brown, Don’t Deserve A Second Chance
Monday, January 23 by

And probably not a first one, either.