He'll continue to dance in my dreams.
Sadly, Herman Cain Won’t Be On ‘Dancing With The Stars’ Next Season
Wednesday, February 15 by

We’d rather see him in a ‘Temptation Island’ reboot, anyway.

...and here we go.
8 Famous Dildo Scenes For Those Without A Date On Valentine’s Day
Tuesday, February 14 by

This is as romantic as this website gets, unfortunately.

Both these cards together get my message across
Say ‘Winter Is Coming’, I Mean, ‘I Love You’ With ‘Game Of Thrones’ Valentines
Tuesday, February 14 by

Great for whores, bastards, and dwarves, also!

Uh?
7 Movie Romances That Will Make You Glad To Be Alone On Valentine’s Day
Tuesday, February 14 by

Unless you’re married to a sack of door knobs or something, your relationship is less odd than the entries on this list.

She then later sent a Tweet asking fans to maybe give her a ride to O'Hare at 6:30 AM, then maybe help her move this weekend.
Last Night Oprah Begged For Ratings In A Very Un-Orpah-Like Fashion
Monday, February 13 by

My prayers have been answered.

This is like our fifteenth article about Han shooting first in the past week. No mas.
8 Things From ‘Star Wars’ More Unethical Than Han Shooting First
Monday, February 13 by

George Lucas leads us to believe that space is mostly a vast moral grey area.

My two most desired items in the world - those shoes and that board.
Mattel Will Be Manufacturing The “Hoverboard” In Time For Christmas
Monday, February 13 by

I’ll hold out for the powered Pit Bull model.

Spank bank.
Roseanne Uses Her Siren Call To Lure Back John Goodman For NBC Pilot
Friday, February 10 by

It’s crazy enough to work.

This man is a liar.
George Lucas Insists Greedo Always Shot First In ‘Star Wars’, You Just Didn’t Notice It
Friday, February 10 by

This whole time you thought that Han Solo shot first at bounty hunter Greedo at the cantina, but really, it was your only bloodlust that led you to that conclusion,…

The BAFTA's actual awards have the distinction of being the most terrifying.
Why Do We (Or Don’t We) Care About The BAFTAs?
Friday, February 10 by

Everything you wanted to know about the BAFTAs but were too smart to ask.

Dabney Coleman
‘At Water’s Edge’ (Dabney Coleman Erotic Fan Fiction – Chapter 19)
Friday, February 10 by

My adventure with Dabney comes to an end. Or does it?

I'll be the first one to admit, Colonel Sanders has a pretty good track record. He doesn't make this list easy.
Worst Of The Best: The 5 Worst Films Scored By John Williams
Thursday, February 9 by

Wow. John Williams doesn’t have many missteps.

He would start by tripling his bandana budget line item.
If He Was Gay, Hulk Hogan Would “Celebrate It,” Just So You Know
Thursday, February 9 by

And I would like to witness that celebration.

They might want to reconsider their organizational structure.
7 Surprisingly Insensitive Political Ads
Thursday, February 9 by

Because you don’t want to spend all day being sensitive to people, do you?

Teach 'em how to Dougie, Gene.
Get Your Hopes Up, A ‘Wet Hot American Summer’ Sequel Is ‘Yes, Absolutely 100%’ Getting Made
Thursday, February 9 by

Chris Meloni returns as Gene, the shell-shocked Vietnam vet or GTFO.

Jaden Smith is probably the most exciting new actor in Hollywood.
7 Sequels Of Remakes Hollywood Felt Were Necessary
Wednesday, February 8 by

An unnecessary article discussing unnecessary films. Perfect.

Does this look like a man who watches 'Jersey Shore'? No. No it doesn't.
Even Carson Daly Doesn’t Watch MTV
Wednesday, February 8 by

The first-ever Carson Daly interview that won’t lull you to sleep.

A lot of people are watching this show. But why?
Why In The Hell Are These 5 TV Shows So Popular?
Wednesday, February 8 by

Who’s watching these shows? Please come forward. I’m not going to get angry, I just want to know.

Apparently, some soulless movie exec screaming, "Remember Stretch Armstrong?" doesn't mean it will be a viable movie.
Universal Just Paid Millions Of Dollars To Not Make Movies Based On Hasbro Toys
Tuesday, February 7 by

I’m sitting at my desk, not making a Hasbro toy-based film, and it’s not costing me shit.

Why yes, I ordered the "handsome."
‘This Means War’ Pushes Back Valentines Opening, Nation’s Girlfriends Weep
Tuesday, February 7 by

Geez. That’s too bad.

This article rains on a lot of people's parades.
This South African Guy Was Trapped In A Cave With Zombies For Three Years
Tuesday, February 7 by

Unless he’s lying, which I really hope he isn’t, cause then this article would be pointless.

He's laughin', he's havin' a good time.
Hey Man, That Bob Marley Doc Is Coming Out On 4/20. Sick!
Tuesday, February 7 by

Wouldn’t it be great if we all got really stoned then saw this movie on 4/20? Yeah, it would.

Wow. She's...she's very...very handsome.
Hooray For Hollywood: Musician Arrested For Trying To Run Over Park Ranger
Monday, February 6 by

It’s about time people started trying to run over well-meaning park workers. They’ve had it too good for too long.

Spider-Man
‘The Amazing Spider-Man’ Trailer Just Might Match The Hype
Monday, February 6 by

Marc Webb seems to have found a balance of style and substance that many films, especially comic book adaptations, struggle to find.

Seriously, guys. Pay attention. This is important. Guys?
7 Molehills (Besides MIA) The Parents Television Council Have Turned Into Mountains
Monday, February 6 by

If we stop paying attention to them, they’ll wither up and die.

Teach me how to Uggie.
Uggie (The Dog From ‘The Artist’) Is Sick!!!
Monday, February 6 by

He just wants to retire into a normal doggie life. Why won’t we let him?

oakland
7 Possible Locations For The Academy Awards
Monday, February 6 by

Live from world famous Oakland, CA…

In which Dabney nears the end of his rope.
‘Enter The Alpha Dog’ (Dabney Coleman Erotic Fan Fiction – Chapter 17)
Friday, February 3 by

Our encounter makes us wonder who the REAL animals are.

Hope you like commercials.
Screw It, We’re Grading 27 Super Bowl XLVI Ads Early
Friday, February 3 by

If you hate sports, you can just read/watch this article and save yourself five hours.

Einstein will be played by Nathan Lane.
‘Back To The Future’ To Become A Super-Timely Musical?
Thursday, February 2 by

Anyone want to wager on whether or not there’s a number entitled “Great Scott?”