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Lucy Lawless Tries To Deny The World Its Sweet, Sweet Oil, Gets Arrested
Monday, February 27 by

In real life, Lucy Lawless’ superpower is acting like an entitled Hollywood liberal.

Collectively, the nation gasped and asked, "Is Ben Stiller standing in a ditch or something?"
7 Sorta High Points From Last Night’s Oscars
Monday, February 27 by

Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

I would say "It's never too early," but this feels a little too early.
Screw It, Here Are Our 2013 Oscar Predictions
Monday, February 27 by

Are there any movies I’m missing? Yeah. Probably tons.

Yes, yes. But where do you take it?
The Rock To Break Type And Play Hercules… Hold On, It Gets Better… For Brett Ratner
Thursday, February 23 by

I’m not even looking forward to avoiding this. Cut me so I feel…something.

"I'd like to pour some out for my homey Pete Postlethwaite. Mourn ya till I join ya, PeePee."
‘Best Original Song’: The Other Way To Win An Oscar
Thursday, February 23 by

What do Berlin, Three 6 Mafia, Madonna, Isaac Hayes, Eminem, and Phil Collins have in common? Not much at all.

The 2012 'Hunger Games' Food Court Tour
‘The Hunger Games’ Is Logically Doing A Mall Publicity Tour
Thursday, February 23 by

Don’t miss it! Unless you don’t care.

I hope the resolution is higher than what's depicted here.
Google Going Head-To-Head With Those Bastards From Time Warner
Thursday, February 23 by

First, Kansas City, then, the world.

When Oscars happen to bad movies.
7 Undeserving Movies That Managed To Score Oscars
Thursday, February 23 by

Decent performances, terrible films.

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7 Cities The Porn Industry Could Move To If It Leaves Los Angeles
Thursday, February 23 by

If this were to happen, I would think the Valley turns into a ghost town in about thirteen days.

I can't believe this is actually a thing.
Sacha Baron Cohen And 6 Other Oscar “Controversies”
Thursday, February 23 by

This is a controversy in the same way a “too-soon” Whitney Houston Facebook post is a controversy.

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Oscars Ban Sacha Baron Cohen Because They Hate Fun
Wednesday, February 22 by

The Academy must be trying to set some sort of record for how terrible and self-important an organization can be.

Their restrooms are in high demand.
Hooray For Hollywood: Del Taco Toilet Tussle Ends In Broken Bones
Wednesday, February 22 by

At Del Taco, you can get fries with your Mexican food…and a broken arm.

You're dragging me down!
7 TV Shows We’re Giving Up For Lent
Wednesday, February 22 by

It’s Ash Wednesday. Party’s over, people.

It will be whatever the opposite of 'Ratatouille' is.
Guillermo Del Toro To Freak Kids Out With CGI Epic ‘Day Of The Dead’
Tuesday, February 21 by

Expect nightlight sales to skyrocket in the wake of this film.

It's like the Oscars on welfare, which isn't actually a bad thing.
The Independent Spirit Awards (AKA The Hipster Oscars) Explained
Tuesday, February 21 by

If Billy Crystal found his way to this awards show, they would shoot him on sight.

Barney has more than a passing interest in world politics.
‘Homer At The Bat’ Is 20 Years Young!
Tuesday, February 21 by

“Dar-yl! Dar-yl!”

Party 'til you die.
For Fat Tuesday, Here Are 6 Movie Parties We Wish We’d Been Invited To
Tuesday, February 21 by

I’ll bring the hats and streamers.

Sheen is such a nice guy, he even gets his picture taken with people he thinks "suck."
Charlie Sheen, As We All Are, Tired Of Pretending Ashton Kutcher Doesn’t Suck
Friday, February 17 by

Tiger blood, and what have you.

Interesting, but I have a better idea.
Instead Of Hiring Cirque De Soleil, Turn The Oscars Into The ‘Hollywood Hunger Games’
Friday, February 17 by

“Let the 1st Annual Hollywood Hunger Games begin!”

Jim Gaffigan when someone brings up affirmative actions. Just kidding. Probably Hot Pockets.
Jim Gaffigan, The Anti-Louie C.K., To Adopt C.K.’s Distribution Model
Friday, February 17 by

It will be Gaffigan’s crassest material yet, earning him a PG rating.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you (possibly) Israel Thornstein.
British Spy Group MI5 Reveals Charlie Chaplin MAY HAVE BEEN A FRENCHMAN!
Friday, February 17 by

Whatever his name is, he’s no Alex Pettyfer.

It's hard to believe that this show has kept plugging along longer than 'Joe Millionaire' did.
244 FOX Shows That Have Come And Gone During ‘The Simpsons’ 500-Episode Run
Friday, February 17 by

One look at this list, and you’ll think, “Huh. FOX sure has aired a lot of crap.”

"Mr. Quaid, if you don't stop telling the committee what you'd like to do with our nipples, I will ask you to leave."
Jennifer Aniston And Dennis Quaid Are Going To Star In A ‘Jackie Brown’ Prequel Whether You Think It’s A Good Idea Or Not
Friday, February 17 by

Rob Schneider had a prior commitment.

OH MY GOD! SHE'S GOT A GUN!
America Treated To Two New Jenny McCarthy Shows In Development
Thursday, February 16 by

Let’s see…She’s less hot and louder since America last cared about her. Yeah, these shows are good ideas.

"...and that's why it was the best surprise party I'd ever attended."
‘Transformers 4′ Is Going To Have An Entirely New Cast, Says Josh Duhamel
Thursday, February 16 by

Why? Why not?

He poisons them all.
Gus Fring From ‘Breaking Bad’ Has Found His Way To ‘Community’
Thursday, February 16 by

He should have been in the episode about Abed and the chicken fingers.

Yeah...back in the toilet.
6 Recent Instances Of NBC Screwing The Metaphorical Pooch
Thursday, February 16 by

They’re also ball-droppers for those keeping score at home.

You son of a bitch, Tintin.
7 Instances Of Good Directors Choosing Very Bad Sequels And Remakes
Thursday, February 16 by

I wanted to put Gus Van Sant’s remake of ‘Psycho’ on here seven times, but my editor wouldn’t let me.

If his PR rep had their way, he'd be staring at the 'Big Book of GAY Butts'
Brett Ratner’s New GLAAD PSAs Will Require Lots Of Rehearsing
Wednesday, February 15 by

Get it? Ugh.

Ironically, picking up this show in 2012 is exactly the type of thing that Hannibal would eat you for.
NBC Picking Up ‘Hannibal’ In What Is Clearly A Cry For Help
Wednesday, February 15 by

I hope you like your violence watered-down and insinuated!