I'm sure the paper in question will be some of variation on this.
You Will Soon Be Able To Buy Dunder Mifflin Paper From ‘The Office’. REJOICE!
Monday, November 28 by

This is a way better idea than my ‘Night Court’-branded nocturnal legal services.

Huh. I guess she won an Emmy at some point. Interesting.
Sarah Silverman To Take Her “Cute Girl Says Doodie” Act To NBC For A Pilot
Wednesday, November 23 by

This could be the commercially accessible “edginess” NBC needs to turn things around. Just kidding.

Happy Thanksgiving
How To Brine And Roast A Star Of ‘The Expendables 2′
Wednesday, November 23 by

Delicious!

Why do we feel like voyeurs when they're talking directly to us?
How Faux-Documentary Sitcoms Trick Us, And Why We Love Them Anyway
Wednesday, November 23 by

You’ve been fooled, but you don’t care.

My two least favorite habits - smoking and swimming in your f*cking clothes.
Aaron Sorkin Is ‘Strongly Considering’ Steve Jobs Biopic, Since He Loves Depicting Cold Tech Giants
Wednesday, November 23 by

Sources close to him indicate that Jobs did both walk and talk, so Aaron Sorkin seems like a natural fit.

This is how bored Joe Strummer was by the news of his biopic. And he's been dead for nine years.
It’s The Clash Frontman Joe Strummer’s Turn For A Biopic Now, Courtesy Of…Julie Delpy?
Wednesday, November 23 by

Biopics are the new tombstones.

Back in his prime, even Eddie Murphy's haircut was funny.
John Landis Doesn’t Know If Eddie Murphy Wants To Be Funny Anymore
Tuesday, November 22 by

If Eddie doesn’t want to be funny, that would explain a lot of his films.

These men should be reprimanded for expressing an opinion on television. Not cool, guys.
The Roots Welcome Michelle Bachmann To ‘Fallon’ By Playing ‘Lyin’ Ass Bitch’
Tuesday, November 22 by

This is easily the worst thing to happen to America in the past ten minutes or so.

Doing our part to ensure the internet is "pepper spray only" for the next day or so.
7 Film And TV Characters Getting Blasted In The Face With Pepper Spray
Tuesday, November 22 by

Those kids at Davis seem a lot tougher than these movie characters.

They might love the law, but they love money more.
6 Actors (And Jim Carrey) Who Played Sleazy Lawyers To Perfection
Tuesday, November 22 by

I would disbar them all if I had some political power and wasn’t just a guy that writes about movies.

Bane-inspired fashions will be all the rage next fall.
Christopher Nolan Has Some Things To Reveal About ‘The Dark Knight Rises’
Tuesday, November 22 by

It apparently takes eight years for the Dark Knight to rise. In the interim, he was catching up on ‘Mad Men’ and watching the food network while doing CrossFit.

Oh man. He just LOOKS annoying.
9 Actors Who Are More Annoying Than Woody Allen
Tuesday, November 22 by

If you like being reminded of annoying things, this list is for you.

The most badass gunslinger of the wild west and that's what they put on his gravestone? Mine will say, "From Time to Time, He Enjoyed a Good Fudgesicle."
HBO Getting Back Into Westerns With Doc Holiday Series
Tuesday, November 22 by

I smell an Al Swearengen crossover opportunity. Wait. No. I’m smelling lavender. Close.

They were probably just booing the gingers. I know I was.
Michelle Obama And Seven Other Instances Of Celebs Getting Booed
Monday, November 21 by

Please have their assistant arrange for a box of Kleenex to be placed on their private jets.

What do these guys even talk about at Thanksgiving dinner? Darfur?
7 Most Awkward Thanksgiving Dinners From Film and Television
Monday, November 21 by

“Would…anyone like some more turkey? No, Cody and Madison, you may NOT be excused.”

Fun fact: Francis Ford Coppola was once 78% beard.
Francis Ford Coppola On ‘The Godfather Part II’: “There Shoulda Only Been One”
Monday, November 21 by

Was he drunk? He must have been drunk.

Did someone really want to know how good a dancer Nancy Grace is? Why?
Other Things We’d Like To See ‘The Stars’ Do Besides Dance
Monday, November 21 by

Sure, they can dance the Lindy Hop, but how do they sob?

Would you shampoo his hair for $400? Don't just blurt out an answer, think about it.
Forget About Natalie Wood’s Death And Rate These 8 Christopher Walken Impressions
Friday, November 18 by

I hope law enforcement puts Walken’s new witness interview on Pay-Per-View.

The seventh season will be documentary-style footage of him playing with action figures.
Beware, Evildoers: ‘Dexter’ Renewed For Two More Seasons
Friday, November 18 by

By the time we reach season eight, it will just be Dexter sitting in a room having a dinner party with six ghosts.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is my 'Twilight'.
‘Rampage’ Video Game To Become A Real Thinkpiece Film
Friday, November 18 by

They get their strength from eating people. Just like I do.

When those three men looked at it me, that was the most scared I had ever been in my entire life.
A Tale Of Two Cubes: Family-Friendly vs. N.W.A. Ice Cube
Thursday, November 17 by

“Do I look like a muthaf*ckin’ role model?” Yeah, Ice Cube. You kinda do now.

I felt sorry for them until I saw that he got married in that hat.
Ashton Kutcher And Demi Moore To Div…ZZZZZZ
Thursday, November 17 by

Ashton will retain sole custody of his spotty facial hair.

This film will be made right after Lifetime's 'Bad Medicine: The Conrad Murray Story'
The Odds On Who Will Play Michael Jackson In His Inevitable Biopic
Thursday, November 17 by

I think there is a better chance of reanimating Michael to play himself than getting any of these guys hired.

Oh, man! They're gonna remake 'The Munsters'? This is gonna be so classic!!!!
NBC Now Thinks People Will Like ‘The Munsters’ More Than ‘Community’
Thursday, November 17 by

They’re hoping it lasts at least as long as the ‘Charlie’s Angels’ remake does.

Rob Schneider has plenty of booze back at his place if you girls wanna join him.
Rob Schneider To Address Exclamation Point-Inversion Epidemic With ‘┬íRob!’
Wednesday, November 16 by

Let this be the news that signified Rob Schneider’s career had superseded Adam Sandler’s, never to be overtaken again.

If these guys weren't six underground...I tell you what...
Screen Junkies’ 1st Annual ‘Sexiest Man Not Alive’ Awards
Wednesday, November 16 by

Just ’cause they’re dead doesn’t mean we’re not wildly attracted to them.

Ironically, I bet these superhero kids probably really turn pedophiles on.
Fake Canadian Superheroes Targeting Pedophiles Via YouTube (No, Really)
Wednesday, November 16 by

This is just really awesome. The costumes, the deception…everything.

Here's to three more years of celebrating diversity!
Comedy Central’s President Saw His Shadow, We Get Three More Years Of ‘South Park’
Wednesday, November 16 by

I heard in two years they were thinking about doing an Elian Gonzalez episode. Is nothing sacred with these guys?

It won't be on during the day, because that's when Americans should be working. With their jobs.
5 Possible Premises For Glenn Beck’s New Animated Series
Tuesday, November 15 by

No one makes me laugh like Glenn Beck does.

Bob Costas, in an interview that's about as far removed from sports as possible.
8 Awkward Interviews That Make The Jerry Sandusky Q&A Look Comfortable
Tuesday, November 15 by

If your day has been filled with pleasant and comfortable interactions, you better watch these to restore some balance.