You've been replaced, fellas.
‘Star Trek 3′ May Feature William Shatner And Leonard Nimoy
Tuesday, September 23 by

Because no one goes to the movies to see young people.

I hoped that they would never grow up.
The ‘Mighty Ducks 2′ Cast Reunited For Its 20th Anniversary Without Emilio Or Pacey
Monday, September 22 by

Q: At what point is a reunion just “people getting together?” A: When the two most prominent stars aren’t there.

"Dammit, Bryan. Stop doing that director-y thing with your hands and approve this budget."
Bryan Singer Officially Signs On To Direct ‘X-Men: Apocalypse’
Monday, September 22 by

I guess all press is good press.

He looks smug enough to get this done.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt May Play Edward Snowden For Oliver Stone
Monday, September 22 by

I wonder if it will just be him sitting in a windowless Russian room for 175 minutes.

That's not a department-approved haircut, and those earrings aren't regulation, Colin.
Colin Farrell Confirms He’ll Be In HBO’s ‘True Detective’ For Season 2
Monday, September 22 by

He’ll be playing a flat circle. FLAT CIRCLES EVERYWHERE!

He's looking at the Fox development committee storming in.
‘Maze Runner’ Earned Itself A Sequel This Weekend
Monday, September 22 by

These days, if a film doesn’t get the sequel green light by Monday after opening weekend, it’s all but a flop.

What a seaman!
A New 3D Popeye Might Look Like This!
Friday, September 19 by

Do we need a new Popeye? (No, but that’s not going to change things.)

They look pretty content, all right.
According To ‘Simpsons’ Showrunner Al Jean, No One’s Discussed Ending The Show
Friday, September 19 by

“You can have my ‘Simpsons’ when you pry it from my cold, dead hand,” is what he should have said.

He's got a crack team of mercenaries at his disposal, so take this seriously.
‘Expendables 3′ Producer Wants To Go After All 10 Million People That Illegally Download The Movie
Friday, September 19 by

You’re gonna need a really big courtroom, sir.

Oh-kay....
Sure, People Don’t Really Like Superman That Much, But CBS Thinks You’ll LOVE ‘Supergirl’
Friday, September 19 by

Oh, I hope they make her strong, sexy, and above all, real!

Trust this guy with your money. I dare you!
Tom Sizemore Is Crowdfunding A Film. Yup. Tom Sizemore Is Asking For Your Money.
Thursday, September 18 by

HOW DO I KNOW HE WON’T SPEND IT ON DRUGS?

What's he looking at? Is it symbolic?
Seth Rogen, Adam McKay, And Ben Schwartz Coming Together For A Movie We Know Nothing About
Thursday, September 18 by

Still..those names have to get you a little excited.

Something about him looks vaguely...evil.
‘SNL’ Alum Darrell Hammond Will Be The New ‘SNL’ Announcer
Thursday, September 18 by

He can do pretty much anyone’s voice, and he knows his way around the building!

Oh, it's a period piece. (Sigh) I get it.
Why Has A Film Starring Jennifer Lawrence And Bradley Cooper Been Sitting On The Shelf For Two Years?
Wednesday, September 17 by

Because ‘Serena’ makes no sense according to those who have seen it.

What a tasteful, pleasant logo! I'm gonna go throw up now!
‘America’s Funniest Home Videos’ To Launch YouTube Station, Unaware That YouTube Is Basically ‘America’s Funniest Home Videos’ Already
Wednesday, September 17 by

Did you know that we’re losing market share of Earth’s Funniest Home Videos to both Canada AND Egypt?

It's a trap!
Let’s Scrutinize This ‘Star Wars’ Set Photo With Adam Driver In An X-Wing Pilot Outfit
Wednesday, September 17 by

If you thought he played a “man’s man” on ‘Girls’…boy, oh boy.

That's cute! Mike the Fixer and Walt had a baby!
The Univision, Spanish Language Version Of ‘Breaking Bad’ Completed Its Entire Run In Less Than Four Months
Wednesday, September 17 by

Univision: We understand true “binge watching.”

Aykroyd was young once? I had no idea!
Dan Aykroyd Wants To Create A ‘Ghostbusters’ Universe Of Characters, Like Marvel Did…*Crickets*
Wednesday, September 17 by

Ray Parker Jr. thinks this is a FANTASTIC idea.

God forbid we get excited about a happy animal, like a golden retriever. No. LET'S CELEBRATE MISERY.
Here’s A Still From The Grumpy Cat Christmas Movie, And Boy Is It Stupid!
Tuesday, September 16 by

This is frivolous and dumb even by Lifetime standards.

There are larger forces at play here than you could ever understand.
‘True Detective’ Adds Seven New Actresses To Its ‘Short’list; No End In Sight
Tuesday, September 16 by

Why not just have a giant pile of A-listers play ALL the characters at this stage?

He feels the same way we do about it.
NBC Decided You Want A ‘Problem Child’ TV Show
Tuesday, September 16 by

If you can even remember ‘Problem Child’ you might have some nostalgia for it.

She could be browner if she really wanted to sell it.
Nasim Pedrad Does A Killer Aziz Ansari Impression, Complete With Beard And Huge Eyes
Tuesday, September 16 by

It helps that they’re the exact same size.

(Behind you!)
Sony Forcing An ‘I Know What You Did Last Summer’ Reboot Into Theaters
Tuesday, September 16 by

It was just too great a property to leave alone.

The distance between them speaks volumes.
Jimmy Kimmel Has Written A Pilot About Carson Daly’s Life, And ABC Picked It Up
Tuesday, September 16 by

I hope it’s called ‘The Daly Grind’ or ‘Give us our Lord, this Daly bread’. Something with a “Daly” pun.

He's smiling because he's rich.
Judd Apatow Gets A Second Season Of His New Show On Netflix (Before The First One Airs)
Tuesday, September 16 by

None of the usual Apatow suspects cast. So far…

Let's all beat people with rolled-up magazines as a show of support! (Don't do that.)
With Apologies To Jeremy Renner, The Next ‘Bourne’ Film Will Star Matt Damon
Monday, September 15 by

And it will be directed by Paul Greengrass.

"Hello, Captain? Yes, I'd like to make a ship-to-shore call to tell everyone about this awesome casting news."
Dylan (Luke Perry) Will Join Dawson (James Van Der Beek) On ‘CSI: Cyber’
Monday, September 15 by

They’re pretty much leaving us no choice but to watch this show and cheer for it.

JAMES BOND, STOP SMILING!
The 24th James Bond Movie Begins Filming Dec. 6th, And We’ve Got Some Proposed Titles.
Monday, September 15 by

It will see a November 6th, 2015 release in the States.

I've seen better graphics work done in preschools and zoos.
The Sooner We Address ‘Sharknado 3′ Plot Points, The Sooner We Can Put Them Behind Us
Friday, September 12 by

The tornado of sharks will hit D.C. TAKE THAT, CAPITOL HILL FATCATS!

Dear God. How many of these f*ckers are there?
DC Comics Continues Its TV Rollout Extravaganza With ‘Titans’ On TNT
Friday, September 12 by

DC seems to be gravitating more towards television, possibly because Marvel isn’t to be trifled with in theaters.