Spies shouldn't wear tweed. No one should, for that matter.
7 Spy Movies That Make Espionage Boring
Friday, December 9 by

I spy with my little eye… a really shitty movie.

R.I.P.
Joseph Farrell Invented The Movie Trailer, But Now He’s Dead
Thursday, December 8 by

Without Farrell, that one guy who does all the voiceovers for trailers would have been homeless.

"I DO like Huey Lewis, Patrick! This is turning out to be a great night!"
‘American Psycho’ Is Getting A Remake
Thursday, December 8 by

That was fast.

Watching 'Swamp Loggers' is now tantamount to singing the National Anthem.
All Politics Aside, Republicans Watch Some Really Shitty Television
Thursday, December 8 by

Then again, Democrats seem to like The View, so I guess they’re both pretty bad.

Celebrities! They're just like us! They beat concierges with phones and called their 11 year-old daughters "pigs!"
Our 7 Favorite Tantrum-Throwing Actors
Thursday, December 8 by

“Artistic temperament” is the excuse they’ll use while they bite your face and hurl epithets at you.

So fresh. So clean.
7 Mostly-Dumb Instances Of White Actors Rapping
Wednesday, December 7 by

I don’t see people in terms of “black” or “white.” Unless they’re rapping. Then they better be black.

I hope it was worth it, Mythbusters.
‘Mythbusters’ Accidentally Sent A Cannonball Through A House
Wednesday, December 7 by

Before you laugh at this, please bear in mind that a minivan was damaged.

Tune in next week for "Cartoon Cats We Would Love To Butter Poach."
7 Movie Horses We Want To Slaughter, Then Eat
Tuesday, December 6 by

This article reminds me of summers in France, where the horses were so succulent, my au pair would have to wipe the juices from my chin.

If I drop this channel to save money, who is going to scream at me at 5:30 every day?
If You’re Mad About Your Cable Bill, You Can Blame ESPN
Tuesday, December 6 by

ESPN knows that most men would rather slide comfortably into a cocktail dress than drop it from their cable lineup.

Stop smiling, Larry. You're going to die. We all are.
Larry King Fears His Impending Death, Wants To Be Frozen
Tuesday, December 6 by

In a story that might not be of interest to our readership, or technically even “news,” but is very funny nonetheless, Larry King, when asked about his mortality, replied to…

Oh, man, if Eva Mendes was directing this film instead of Michael Bay, this picture would be PERFECT!
Michael Bay Wants Mark Wahlberg, The Rock For ‘Pain And Gain’
Monday, December 5 by

Is The Rock the right choice to play a bodybuilder? Only time will tell….

Seriously, Deavid Denby. Look a little more like a film critic for 'The New Yorker'. Jesus.
Why David Denby Is Right To Criticize Studio Release Policies
Monday, December 5 by

An unimportant insider exchange begs some pretty serious questions about the way studios release films.

I would criticize Rowlf the Dog's actions, but that would just give liberals cause to turn him into a martyr for their cause.
8 Children’s Shows That Will Turn Your Kids Into Communists
Monday, December 5 by

Statler and Waldorf are the only ones that represent the sentiments of the right.

Hell yeah it is!
Police Discover Real-Life ‘Breaking Bad’ Meth Lab In Massachusetts
Monday, December 5 by

If she goes by “Hindenberg,” that would just be freaky.

Crime scene photos of the body of Elizabeth Short (aka "The Black Dahlia)
The Black Dahlia Murder: Facts Of The Case And Media Portrayals
Friday, December 2 by

Separating fact from fictionalized…

I am crossing my fingers for a 'Hurt Locker' crossover in which Jeremy Renner visits Sesame Street and has to diffuse a bomb that's been planted in Oscar's corpse.
Afghanistan Gets Its Own ‘Sesame Street’, The ‘War On Terror’ Can End Now
Friday, December 2 by

In this version, Sesame Street will be riddled with IED’s and goat carcasses.

Sometimes it's just nice to pour yourself a drink, kick back with a mountain of cocaine and just unwind, ya know?
Watch These 8 Iconic Coke Scenes, Then Find Out Where We’re Going Late-Night
Friday, December 2 by

You think 8 entries will be enough to get you through the night, but you’ll probably hit me up and ask me for more by midnight.

There aren't as many representations of David Faustino in this picture as I would like.
David Faustino (Bud Bundy) Is To Blame For will.i.am
Friday, December 2 by

And if you’re wondering what Buck Bundy the dog is up to…he’s dead.

Yes, but what of the rare 'Casper the Ghost' comic that inspired the 'Saw' franchise?
9 Celebrities With Really Weird Hobbies
Friday, December 2 by

None of them collect orphan tears like I do.

You keep those headphones away from Zach Braff, Natalie. AWAY FROM HIM!
Grammy Time: 7 Great Soundtracks To 7 Horrible Films
Thursday, December 1 by

One of these films contains a collaboration between Mudhoney and Sir-Mix-A-Lot, who I just found out is not an actual knight.

Look at that bike! It's as big as he is! But still not that big...
Tom Cruise To Die Over And Over And Over Again In ‘All You Need Is Kill’
Thursday, December 1 by

He’ll be playing a tiny little soldier. How cute!

This is the real Patch Adams, and if someone looking like this ever reached out to give me medical care, they would pull back a bloody stump.
The Best ‘Patch Adams’-Related Home Invasion Story You’ll Read All Day
Thursday, December 1 by

Reminds me of the time I used the Catherine Zeta-Jones film ‘No Reservations’ to diffuse a race riot.

Comparing this to what Ben Kingsley or Morgan Freeman does makes zero sense.
Andy Serkis Should Not Be Eligible For An Academy Award
Thursday, December 1 by

Andy Serkis is the only person doing what he’s doing. He doesn’t need an award for that distinction.

It's William Shatner! And he's doin' stuff!
William Shatner And Carrie Fisher Embroiled In Star Trek/Star Wars Feud
Wednesday, November 30 by

Today in relevant news…

He's gonna be so pissed when he hears about 'Deliver Us From Eva'
6 Shakespeare Adaptations That Would Make The Bard Vomit
Wednesday, November 30 by

Reading this piece counts as three credits towards an English major.

I will be the first one to admit this image doesn't give you a good sense of the character.
‘Amazing Spider-Man’ Concept Art Introduces Us To ‘The Lizard’
Wednesday, November 30 by

He looks like a shaved Grinch.

I would spank the shit out of Kevin Bacon if I had the chance, too. "This is for 'Hollow Man'!"
Thank You Sir, May I Have Another: 7 Hazing Incidents In Film
Tuesday, November 29 by

It’s just kids being kids. Then it’s kids psychologically scarring kids. Then kids killing kids.

This cartoon character just LOVES World War II stuff.
Tom Hanks To Join ‘Garden Of Beasts’ Because He Loves WWII So Damn Much
Tuesday, November 29 by

It actually takes place just before World War II, but it was close enough that Tom got interested.

Here's hoping he died how he lived... surrounded by giant swords of meat.
Actor And Comedian Patrice O’Neal Died Last Night At 41
Tuesday, November 29 by

The regular ‘Opie and Anthony’ guest was 41.

Kristen Stewart's incessant twitching is probably to blame.
6 Films Besides ‘Breaking Dawn’ That Will Probably Give You Seizures
Tuesday, November 29 by

Stick a wooden spoon in your mouth before you even read this article.