They look so peaceful, just lying there.
Here Are Your Fairly Predictable Golden Globe Nominees
Thursday, December 15 by

The Oscars Jr. nominees have been announced.

I refuse to "go with it." Rather, I think I'll fight it tooth-and-nail.
The Most Tolerable Romantic Comedies Of 2011 (Based Almost Solely On Speculaton)
Thursday, December 15 by

It’s sort of like ranking genocides in terms of how fun they were. It just doesn’t feel right.

To be fair, David Cross hasn't seemed to enjoy ANYTHING in at least a decade.
David Cross Didn’t Like Working On ‘Alvin And The Chipmunks: Chip-Wrecked’ That Much
Wednesday, December 14 by

I’ve heard from three different people that Theodore is incredibly difficult to work with.

It also says that he invented the printing press. That can't be right.
Steve Guttenberg Is Just Now Receiving A Star On The Walk Of Fame
Wednesday, December 14 by

I wrote one letter a day for almost 28 years. I feel vindicated.

The $130 million that he earned in 2011 will buy him 13 million of this type of sweater vest.
7 Tyler Perry Projects We’re Looking Forward To Avoiding In 2012
Wednesday, December 14 by

I can’t wait to not watch!

For this picture to convey the subject matter of this article, please imagine that it is playing audio at an unbearably high volume.
FCC Passes Act To Regulate TV Ad Volume, Gave It Nifty Acronym
Tuesday, December 13 by

Remain CALM.

They look really happy. I mean like in love.
Hulk Hogan’s Ex-Wife Claims The Hulk Was Gay With Brutus Beefcake
Tuesday, December 13 by

Christmas came early this year, folks. Sure, this only pertains to entertainment in the most tangential manner possible (reality television/washed-up orange wrestlers), but when two people as ridiculous as Linda…

Ice Cube doesn't really feel like answering any questions about 'The Comebacks' right now. Please sit your cracker ass down.
Ice Cube Returning To Thug Life In FX Vigilante Series, Will Presumably Use His AK
Monday, December 12 by

In the pilot episode, he performs a home invasion on those kids from ‘Are We There Yet?’

Even when history dictates a character will die, HBO still manages to surprise us.
HBO’s Rich History Of Shocking Character Deaths
Monday, December 12 by

If only I could include Carrie Bradshaw on this list.

"Familiar is good," the studios chanted. "Familiar is good."
2011′s Highest-Grossing Films Were All Sequels
Monday, December 12 by

And the next two were comic book movies from Marvel.

Rob Reiner that putting a guy in a pink bunny suit doesn't automatically make your movie awesome.
When Bad Movies Happen To Good Directors
Monday, December 12 by

We’re not going to yell at you. We just want you to know that we’re very, very disappointed.

Guess where his other hand is. Seriously. Guess.
Lifetime Is Remaking ‘Blue Lagoon’… Hello? Anyone? Hellooooo?
Monday, December 12 by

There will be no nudity.

Spies shouldn't wear tweed. No one should, for that matter.
7 Spy Movies That Make Espionage Boring
Friday, December 9 by

I spy with my little eye… a really shitty movie.

R.I.P.
Joseph Farrell Invented The Movie Trailer, But Now He’s Dead
Thursday, December 8 by

Without Farrell, that one guy who does all the voiceovers for trailers would have been homeless.

"I DO like Huey Lewis, Patrick! This is turning out to be a great night!"
‘American Psycho’ Is Getting A Remake
Thursday, December 8 by

That was fast.

Watching 'Swamp Loggers' is now tantamount to singing the National Anthem.
All Politics Aside, Republicans Watch Some Really Shitty Television
Thursday, December 8 by

Then again, Democrats seem to like The View, so I guess they’re both pretty bad.

Celebrities! They're just like us! They beat concierges with phones and called their 11 year-old daughters "pigs!"
Our 7 Favorite Tantrum-Throwing Actors
Thursday, December 8 by

“Artistic temperament” is the excuse they’ll use while they bite your face and hurl epithets at you.

So fresh. So clean.
7 Mostly-Dumb Instances Of White Actors Rapping
Wednesday, December 7 by

I don’t see people in terms of “black” or “white.” Unless they’re rapping. Then they better be black.

I hope it was worth it, Mythbusters.
‘Mythbusters’ Accidentally Sent A Cannonball Through A House
Wednesday, December 7 by

Before you laugh at this, please bear in mind that a minivan was damaged.

Tune in next week for "Cartoon Cats We Would Love To Butter Poach."
7 Movie Horses We Want To Slaughter, Then Eat
Tuesday, December 6 by

This article reminds me of summers in France, where the horses were so succulent, my au pair would have to wipe the juices from my chin.

If I drop this channel to save money, who is going to scream at me at 5:30 every day?
If You’re Mad About Your Cable Bill, You Can Blame ESPN
Tuesday, December 6 by

ESPN knows that most men would rather slide comfortably into a cocktail dress than drop it from their cable lineup.

Stop smiling, Larry. You're going to die. We all are.
Larry King Fears His Impending Death, Wants To Be Frozen
Tuesday, December 6 by

In a story that might not be of interest to our readership, or technically even “news,” but is very funny nonetheless, Larry King, when asked about his mortality, replied to…

Oh, man, if Eva Mendes was directing this film instead of Michael Bay, this picture would be PERFECT!
Michael Bay Wants Mark Wahlberg, The Rock For ‘Pain And Gain’
Monday, December 5 by

Is The Rock the right choice to play a bodybuilder? Only time will tell….

Seriously, Deavid Denby. Look a little more like a film critic for 'The New Yorker'. Jesus.
Why David Denby Is Right To Criticize Studio Release Policies
Monday, December 5 by

An unimportant insider exchange begs some pretty serious questions about the way studios release films.

I would criticize Rowlf the Dog's actions, but that would just give liberals cause to turn him into a martyr for their cause.
8 Children’s Shows That Will Turn Your Kids Into Communists
Monday, December 5 by

Statler and Waldorf are the only ones that represent the sentiments of the right.

Hell yeah it is!
Police Discover Real-Life ‘Breaking Bad’ Meth Lab In Massachusetts
Monday, December 5 by

If she goes by “Hindenberg,” that would just be freaky.

Crime scene photos of the body of Elizabeth Short (aka "The Black Dahlia)
The Black Dahlia Murder: Facts Of The Case And Media Portrayals
Friday, December 2 by

Separating fact from fictionalized…

I am crossing my fingers for a 'Hurt Locker' crossover in which Jeremy Renner visits Sesame Street and has to diffuse a bomb that's been planted in Oscar's corpse.
Afghanistan Gets Its Own ‘Sesame Street’, The ‘War On Terror’ Can End Now
Friday, December 2 by

In this version, Sesame Street will be riddled with IED’s and goat carcasses.

Sometimes it's just nice to pour yourself a drink, kick back with a mountain of cocaine and just unwind, ya know?
Watch These 8 Iconic Coke Scenes, Then Find Out Where We’re Going Late-Night
Friday, December 2 by

You think 8 entries will be enough to get you through the night, but you’ll probably hit me up and ask me for more by midnight.

There aren't as many representations of David Faustino in this picture as I would like.
David Faustino (Bud Bundy) Is To Blame For will.i.am
Friday, December 2 by

And if you’re wondering what Buck Bundy the dog is up to…he’s dead.