Dammit, Guy Ritchie, stop smiling like that so I can bring myself to be mad at you!
Guy Ritchie Taking HIs Cockney Charms To ‘Treasure Island’
Friday, June 1 by

I blame Madonna, and yes, I’m comfortable doing that.

I've decided to make this news.
‘Leprechaun’ Reboot Gets A ‘Quote’ ‘Writer’ ‘End-Quote’
Friday, June 1 by

All those quotes mean I don’t take this thing very seriously.

Yes, yes, Adam. We see you. Please just...put your hand down.
Will Ferrell’s ‘Three Mississippi’ Loses A Wahlberg, Gains A Sandler
Thursday, May 31 by

OH GOOD, ADAM SANDLER!

'Grudge Match' is basically this, but 15 years later and sans shirts.
DeNiro And Stallone To Mumble At Each Other In ‘Grudge Match’
Thursday, May 31 by

The target market for this film is…coma patients and people that have died in front of the television.

No one said mentors had to shower regularly or not be junkies.
Get Your Life In Order With These 6 Movie Mentors
Wednesday, May 30 by

If they were around, maybe I wouldn’t be such a terrible person.

Simpler times, I guess. Also: Shit, Sawyer's handsome!
Dominic Monaghan Doesn’t Hang Out With Matthew Fox Because Of His Alleged Woman-Beating
Wednesday, May 30 by

In case that headline isn’t clear, Matthew Fox (allegedly) beats the women, while Dominic finds the act unsavory.

If there was a category for "Worst Theme Song," I think they wouldn't even need to mail it. They'd just be given the award.
‘Family Guy’ Emmy Mailer Requests The Help Of ‘Brentwood Jews’
Wednesday, May 30 by

Click the link to see the image. It’s worth it. We wouldn’t lie to you. Not about this, anyway.

ALF was the Sacha Baron Cohen of the late 1980's.
‘ALF’ Movie Being Pitched, A Nation Inches Towards The Edge Of Its Seat
Tuesday, May 29 by

Lock up your cats!!! (Read the article to see why that’s funny.)

Hugh Jackman: If you wanna bang heads with him, he can show you what it's like.
Glenn Danzig Was Asked To Play Wolverine. Also: Awesome.
Friday, May 25 by

If you click this link, there’s an embedded video for Danzig’s “Mother.” I swear to God.

No, not this billionaire.
This Billionaire Wants To Produce A Sequel To ‘In The Army Now’ For Some Reason
Friday, May 25 by

Andy Dick not only possesses box-office draw, but also the hearts and minds of America.

Perhaps this image will tide you over? It's not much, but it's something.
OH NO! ‘G.I. Joe: Retaliation’ Is Postponed For A ’3D Overhaul’
Wednesday, May 23 by

Most everyone in America will have outgrown G.I. Joe by then.

Wait, so I can only pick one of these guys?
Handicapping Which DC Comics Character Will Come Out As Gay
Tuesday, May 22 by

Sure, they’re all pretty gay, but who’s THE GAYEST?

He'll probably just go back to school teaching and settle down. Or die of lung cancer. Whatever.
‘Breaking Bad’ Will Resume On July 15th
Monday, May 21 by

Looks like “bad”….just got broken. *high fives everyone within a ten block radius*

This move by Sony probably wasn't a very good idea.
‘Community’s Future Is Pointless, Bizarre Without Dan Harmon
Monday, May 21 by

It’s official: ‘Community’ will now make no one happy.

Point that finger at me one more time and you'll pull back a bloody stump.
Hey Sean Penn, Stop Being Like That!
Monday, May 21 by

And let poor Jude Law fight his own battles.

Keep an eye out for this guy.
Nick Stahl, Star Of ‘In The Bedroom’, ‘Carnivale’, And ‘Terminator 3′, Has Gone Missing
Thursday, May 17 by

And things don’t sound good.

Maybe he'll play the car wash. Yeah, you heard me.
Jesse Plemons Will Be ‘Breaking Bad’ Next Season
Thursday, May 17 by

Will he be the successor to Gus Fring? No. That would be ridiculous.

Still Corleone-y after all these years.
There Will Probably Be A(nother) ‘Godfather’ Prequel Whether You Want One Or Not
Tuesday, May 15 by

The story came about after a Paramount PR rep, wanted you to ask him, just this once, about his affairs.

Ahoy, middle America!
NBC To Launch A Show About Pirates Because What’s The Point Anymore?
Tuesday, May 15 by

Prepare for the irony of a pirate show not pirated by anyone on the Internet.

"Hey Butthead! Read the card!"
Biff From ‘Back To The Future’ Answers All Your Questions With A Convenient Card
Friday, May 11 by

If he says he doesn’t know where to buy real Hoverboards, keep pestering him. He’ll give in and tell you.

"Stop making movies, Tyler. I'm the President. You have to listen to me."
Enough About Gay Marriage, Where Does Obama Stand On Tyler Perry?
Thursday, May 10 by

Let’s talk about a real divisive issue…

Don't let the smiles fool you. These women are knee-deep in ambivalence.
NBC To Renew ‘Community’, ‘Parks’, and ’30 Rock’ But For Shorter Seasons
Wednesday, May 9 by

NBC wants you to know that they’ll give you your favorite shows back, but you’ll get less of them.

Apologies to Miss Jackson, but this isn't exciting news.
Andre 3000 Still Won’t Make An Outkast Album, But Will Play Jimi Hendrix In Biopic
Wednesday, May 9 by

It’s a step up from Gillette commercials, but not much of one.

She's got this.
7 Reasons ‘Underworld’ Is Better Than ‘Twilight’
Wednesday, May 9 by

Advantage: ‘Underworld’

Yet another deposit made at First National Spank Bank.
Film Moms That Are Worse Than That New Jersey Tanning Mom
Tuesday, May 8 by

Son of a bitch.

Things could get hairy.
‘Redneck Island’ Is A New Reality Show, And Stone Cold Steve Austin’s The Host
Monday, May 7 by

My spellcheck insists that “Stonecold” isn’t a real word. My spellcheck is cruising for a beatdown. Shit. It doesn’t recognize “beatdown” either.

Because it's now rated "R," expect this character to be fully nude and ful of racist epithets.
‘Prometheus’ Gets An ‘R’ Rating, Which Is Awesome
Monday, May 7 by

“R” is short for “awesome.”

They're fast, yes. But are they 'Hidalgo' fast?
We Handicap Our Own Kentucky Derby With Movie Race Horses
Saturday, May 5 by

A list for Derby day!

Pictured: Tim Burton and his personal assistant
Of Course He Does: Tim Burton Compares His ‘Batman’ Movies To Christopher Nolan’s
Thursday, May 3 by

Let’s find something we CAN agree on: Joel Schumacher’s were the worst.

They came from different worlds, but you know what? They made it work. And became friends along the way.
This ‘Perfect Strangers’ Video Game Fills Needs I Didn’t Even Know I Had
Thursday, May 3 by

I could put just about anything here, and you would wrongfully assume it was some obscure ‘Perfect Strangers’ reference. I’m not gonna do that to you.