Don’t call bigfoot “Sasquatch.” His mom did that when she was mad at him, and it pisses him off to no end.

He’s so fresh off of ‘SVU’ that he’ll probably be peppering his dialogue with “perps” and “buses” when he really just means “criminals” and “ambulances.”

He’s playing a real-life make-up artist who is sent in to remove a fake movie crew from a very real hostage situation.

Hint: you can make them parts of a double feature if you’re willing to hide out in the theater for a month.

J. Lo is going to play a successful business woman that adopts, Gosling and Refn continue their courtship, and the ‘Snow White’ casting machine rambles on.

If he thinks our future is going to look anything like his music videos, we need to act NOW.

In this one, a game of ‘Angry Birds’ will expose all the covert ops we have in hostile nations.

It’s like ‘Gosford Park’, but with fast cars and machine guns.

Robin Williams will be starring in ‘Patch Adams 2: The Heart Beats On’. Just kidding. I hope you haven’t already smashed your computer.

I’m looking forward to “Chapter 5: The Lohan Years.”

This would have been a very interesting episode of “16 and Pregnant.”

He’s reaching out to an impressive group in getting this together. It was clear Beatty was serious the second he uttered, “LaBeouf.”

It will be interesting to see how he channels “In Living Color”s Wanda to prepare for this role.

I think Will Smith or Nick Cannon should play the black guy and Steve Carell or Ben Stiller should play the white guy.

Ray Winstone will play the seventh and final dwarf, “Character Actor-y.”

Riggle and Lennon. One will charm the hell out of you while the other screams at you mercilessly.

It’s only been 14 years since ‘Speed 2: Cruise Control’. Are we ready to forgive him?

As a little boy, Ron Howard always wanted to be a race car driver (movie director).

Reilly will be playing a bikini model and Fox will be playing a lovable oaf. Wait. That can’t be right…

Let’s all pretend that the reason Chris Meloni is leaving “Law & Order: SVU” is to perfect his portrayal of Gene, the shell-shocked Vietnam vet.

Jeff Buckley’s got two biopics in the works. Who does he think he is, General Patton?

This press release might have well have just said in big block letters, “WARREN BEATTY IS MAKING A MOVIE FOR PARAMOUNT.”

Has a noire film about a vigilante ever NOT been awesome?

Gosling ventures into the smokey, gray abyss known as “romantic comedies.”

He cast Roberto Benigni for the Rome production, in keeping with Italian law.

The guy did ‘Shanghai Knights’, so his track record in accurate retellings of medieval lore speaks for itself.

If you’re tired of not having water shot into your face as you watch ‘The King’s Speech’, pay attention: This is your Woodstock.

HBO will be holding thoughtful panels on two shows. Fox will be just bringing out everyone who gets a paycheck from the network, star or not.

Apparently, ridding the Earth of alien invaders is “Charlie work.”

Cumberbatch will serve as the voice and will provide the motions captured for the role of a dragon, which sounds pretty damn fun.