They noticed him in those AT&T commercials and couldn’t pass on this upstart actor.

Time to re-up on the clown makeup.

If one shoots the other, it’s technically suicide.

His expertise lies predominately in Shaq-fiction, Shaq noir, and Shaqumentary filmmaking.

It makes sense, though. I remember in the original series, the Lone Ranger was always getting dust-ups with werewolves.

It’s rude to stare, Brad.

He had a hard time getting down to only two. The films will be released with a scant 14 conversations about Chewbacca’s genitals.

‘Kate Plus 8′, we hardly knew ye. Seriously. I never watched that show.

Scots look like Americans when they’re backlit just right.

One way to save money: Instead of horses, donkeys on stilts. Also, instead of Johnny Depp, Skeet Ulrich!

The real news here is of course the return of Seth Green to the hearts and minds of America. Scotty do. Scotty do, indeed.

I love Bridget Jones. But then again, I like my women THICK.

They’ll be playing parents in separate families, so we can probably rule out lovemaking scenes.

This is classic mid-life crisis behavior.

On the upside, this should free up Fuqua to attach himself to many, many new projects.

For starters, I don’t remember Brad Pitt being in the book…at all.

My theory: He goes a little heavy on “Woods” by Abercrombie & Fitch.

Because every movie needs a director and a script.

A zombie movie, a Tyler Perry movie, and a movie about crime in 1940′s Los Angeles. Oh, how I wish these were all one glorious film!

This isn’t your grandfather’s Disney! Unless your grandfather was Roy Disney, in which case, it is.

With that title, it could have just as easily been another romantic comedy.

If you can direct Missy Elliott in a trash bag, you can direct anything. Or so I would presume.

Ben Stiller doing a film about a lovable loser? Believe it!

It will feature Jennifer Grey line dancing at a retirement home. Maybe.

Will Seth Rogen be able to capture the essence of “Dirty Randy?”

Warning: It’s kind of lame.

She can “shoot me with her cannon” anytime. Actually, no. That would kill me.

The Pittsburgh Steelers will play a CIA bureaucrat, and Stacy Keach will play a football team. I double-checked it and everything. Weird.

What happens when the woman you love falls in love with the black hole she created? Seriously. That’s what this film is about.

McConaughey will play a charming fugitive and Witherspoon will play his slightly-less-charming love.