I'm sure that he won't look like this for this role.
Al Pacino’s Joe Paterno Movie Will Be Directed By Brian DePalma
Thursday, January 17 by

Caution: Paterno jokes in here.

This was before James Hetfield could afford larger sunglasses.
Metallica Will Be The Subject And Stars Of A Feature Film
Thursday, January 17 by

Let me guess – the band will be depicted as taking themselves super-seriously.

You just know his wife would call him "Connie," and it was adorable.
R.I.P. Conrad Bain, Mr. Drummond From ‘Diff’rent Strokes’
Wednesday, January 16 by

If TV is to be believed, he left behind a hefty estate.

His is not a small head.
Tyler Perry And Larry The Cable Guy Teaming Up Solely To Piss Me Off
Wednesday, January 16 by

If God exists, then why do Tyler Perry movies happen to good people?

Hello, handsome.
Looks Like We’ll Be Spared Any ‘Jack Reacher’ Sequels
Tuesday, January 15 by

If Jack Reacher was real, he’d be soooooo angry.

This picture alone is enough to fill my Jessica Simpson quota for the next decade.
Jessica Simpson And ‘Paul Blart’ Writer To Team Up For Televised Meeting Of The Minds On NBC
Tuesday, January 15 by

NICK LACHEY REUNION EPISODE?!?!?!?!?

This resembles the first 80 minutes of that dream I keep having.
MGM Announces Ben-Hur Remake, Pleasing Chariotmakers Everywhere
Tuesday, January 15 by

This better feature Gavin DeGraw’s “Chariot.”

The producers might want to see how 'Man of Steel' shakes out first.
Zack Snyder Gets In On That Sweet ‘Star Wars’ Action
Monday, January 14 by

So don’t go expecting cinema verite.

death-star-1
White House Is Passing On A Petition To Build A Death Star
Monday, January 14 by

Leave out the ducts. Trust me.

Clink.
The World Will Get Iran’s Side Of The ‘Argo’ Story
Friday, January 11 by

“Argo-Not.”

Here's Nolan, moments after wandering on to the set of a Wes Anderson film, apparently.
Christopher Nolan Will Direct Another Completely Incomprehensible Film
Thursday, January 10 by

Instead of 3D glasses, dunce caps will be given out to audience members.

I vote "funny."
Funny Or Die Gets Deal To Bring You A Ton Of Movies
Wednesday, January 9 by

I choose death.

Got me felling kinda...you know...blue.
New ‘Arrested Development’ Episodes Will Be ‘Very Different’, And Therefore, Bad
Wednesday, January 9 by

Here they go again. On their own.

Who was the first airbender? Probably Jesus.
M. Night Shyamalan To Offer His Own ‘Twist’ On A TV Series
Tuesday, January 8 by

WORDPLAY.

Here it is in its blurry glory.
‘It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia’ Gets Its Own Beer
Tuesday, January 8 by

But it’s willing to share with you.

Ugh. He should be "crucified" for the nerd-chic look.
Brad Pitt To Play The Man Who Sentenced Jesus To Death
Monday, January 7 by

It’s all good, though. He was in ‘Fight Club’.

Classis Huell. Not to be confused with Saul Goddman's bodyguard, who is large and black, but also named Huell.
Huell Howser, Public TV Staple, Dies At 67
Monday, January 7 by

Pour out some California orange juice.

Why so angry, lizard?
Frank Darabont Is Going To Rewrite The ‘Godzilla’ Movie
Monday, January 7 by

The monster is going to look for a missing girl for six hours and piss everyone off.

Ice-T knows that look. Ice-T LOVES that look.
Venn Diagram Of ’30 Rock’, Ice-T, And Nancy Pelosi To Become One Beautiful Circle
Friday, January 4 by

If only televisions had a manner of being powered by sexual chemistry.

I guess this sort of thing is sexy to old people.
‘Hawaii Five-0′ Is Running A Choose Your Own Ending Type Episode. But Can We Choose For All The Characters To Die?
Thursday, January 3 by

MORE LIKE ‘HAWAII FIVE-NO’.

He'll always have the hair.
Conan O’Brien Producing Sitcom With Worst Title Ever
Wednesday, January 2 by

Et tu, Conan?

And we salute you, Mr. Jay-Z.
Jay-Z Is Doing The Score For ‘The Great Gatsby’…Let’s Get Excited
Wednesday, January 2 by

Ok, ‘Gatsby’, you’ve got my attention.

These eyes...are judging...
Spike Lee Went Ahead And Decided ‘Django’ Is Racist And Awful Without Seeing It
Wednesday, January 2 by

Not observing or learning about things that you think you won’t like is a real timesaver.

This is actually a picture of an Afghan hound, and no Adrien Brody. We're guessing less than .05% of our readers noticed the slight discrepancy.
Wes Anderson’s ‘Grand Budapest Hotel’ Adds The Luminous Starpower Of Tilda Swinton And Adrien Brody
Thursday, December 27 by

Christmas came late this year. Or whatever gift-oriented holiday is applicable to you.

As T-Dog would say, "Aww hell yes!"
Let’s Meet Jean-Ralphio’s Twin Sister As Soon As We Can
Friday, December 21 by

He gave Ben Wyatt the new name “Angelo,” and the nickname “Jello Shot.”

I like the insinuation that they cook meth with a toddler.
Brace Yourself For ‘Breaking Bad’ Action Figures
Thursday, December 20 by

But will the set include Bogdan, the car wash owner?

Who does he hand these out to?
Coyotes Beware, Roadrunners Rejoice, Here’s Every Crappy Acme Gadget
Wednesday, December 19 by

Sell your Acme stock now as a write-off for this year’s taxes.

Hello yourself, Schwartzman.
Pawnee, Indiana Gets Another Celebrity Visitor In Jason Schwartzman
Wednesday, December 19 by

Move the f*ck over, Rik Smits.

Rough couple of weeks for Bieber.
Idiot Arrested In Bieber And Kutcher ‘Swatting’ Cases, Also, Learn What ‘Swatting’ Is
Tuesday, December 18 by

*Cue movie about swatting featuring lots of characters with nose rings and dreadlocks*

It doesn't LOOK funny.
HBO Picks Up A Very Somber Show In ‘Laughs Unlimited’
Tuesday, December 18 by

Hold for applause.