There are so many jobs more fulfilling than “B-list movie star.” Just ask my mechanic, Michael Dudikoff.

All these guys are beginning to resemble a dorky, but powerful gang.

Jesse James and Sandra Bullock were deemed ineligible for consideration this year.

A patient nation still holds out for ‘Top Scallop’.

He’s a very short man. Sometimes, it just doesn’t add up.

“So, what’s the latest report on the ‘AD’ movie, guys?”

Oh, they’ll go to live with a family on a farm, all right…*takes off sunglasses*…a death farm.

Crazy mofos John Singleton and Ice Cube are spearheading the effort to get it made.

She’s in heaven with the “Meester, Meester” lady who was crushed by the air-conditioning unit.

Always bet on the cheaters. It’s the smart move.

It would show ALL the episodes. Like “Lisa the Vegetarian” and…ALL of them.

Spoiler alert: She does it just like everyone else does.

The good news is that this ‘Baywatch’ adaptation has almost nothing to do with ‘Baywatch’.

He may have walked away due to his commitment to a History Channel mini-series. Someone slap his agent.

In which the best-laid plans fall to a “touch of consumption.”

I’m so hoping this show is called ‘Hey There, Lil’ Man: What’s Crackin’?’

They don’t have to be taken anywhere that bad. Central Oklahoma will do just fine.

We don’t acknowledge the existence of mini-series in our Emmys.

Glenn, Rob, and Charlie will be producing, but not lending their voices.

Don’t ask about the pudding pop…just don’t.

Maybe the second one will have a gory nude knife fight in a bath house! Oh. They already did that.

These are the most-respected reality shows, which is tantamount to the distinction of being the tallest midget.

It’s like an irrelevant ‘Ocean’s 12′!

Who keeps giving Tyler Perry all this money? KNOCK IT OFF!

If he was still alive, of course. Otherwise, gross.

If you click here, there’s an embedded video that for the ‘Ghostbusters’ theme song. I swear to God.

“Was she a great big fat person?

Let’s go get drunk.

Searching for ridiculous aspects of ‘True Blood’ is tantamount to searching for a needle in a stack of needles.

It’s scheduled to come out in fall 2012. Come on, Mayans. Do your thing!