Don't laugh. It's not funny. It's just...not, ok?
Jean-Claude Van Damme’s 7 Most Memorable Roles
Tuesday, September 4 by

Van. Dammage.

He didn't mean no disrespect or nothin'.
‘The Sopranos’ Cast Reuniting For…A Nickelodeon Movie
Tuesday, September 4 by

The film has the unfortunate name of ‘Nicky Deuce’.

Hollywood lost a good one this weekend.
R.I.P Michael Clarke Duncan, The Gentle Giant
Tuesday, September 4 by

You will be missed, MCD.

His words are as pointed as his face.
Benedict Cumberbatch Is As Suspicious Of CBS’ ‘Elementary’ As We Are
Thursday, August 30 by

When it comes to contemporary Sherlock Holmes adaptations, Benedict Cumberbatch is the one who knocks.

What the fuck are you looking at, Charlie Sheen?
‘Anger Management’ Gets Automatically Picked Up For 90 More Episodes. Yup. 90.
Wednesday, August 29 by

It took ‘Arrested Development’ six years to get ten more.

Pretend the green dude is Shawn Ryan.
Eddie Murphy And Shawn Ryan Shopping Around ‘Beverly Hills Cop’ TV Show
Wednesday, August 29 by

I don’t know if my knee-jerk reaction is supposed to be love or hate.

This is either Jay Leno or Jimmy Kimmel. It's hard to tell.
‘Shit On Jay Leno’ Week Continues With Jimmy Kimmel’s ‘F*ck Him’
Tuesday, August 28 by

He must not have seen “Jaywalking.”

At least he's excited about this list.
Forbes’ 20 Highest Paid Celebrities Is A Depressing List
Tuesday, August 28 by

They’re the richest, and, therefore, the best.

Try to look away from Nic Cage for a second, and you'll see the guy I'm talking about.
The In-Development ‘Beached’ May Have The Best Logline In Cinema History
Tuesday, August 28 by

Oh, man. I don’t want to give it away here, but it’s a keeper.

Just like in my dream...
Howard Stern Calls Jay Leno A ‘Spineless Maggot’, Upsets Fragile NBC
Monday, August 27 by

I never knew him to be one to speak his mind at the expense of decorum. How odd.

LeBron James loves his double headband because it hides how bald he is. So there.
LeBron James Would Just Love To Do A ‘Space Jam’ Sequel
Monday, August 27 by

Further evidence that LeBron is 100% incapable of being his own man.

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The Dwight Schrute ‘Office’ Spinoff Hasn’t Cast His Little Brother: FALSE!
Monday, August 27 by

Perhaps this isn’t clear. They cast his brother.

Spurlock after the first round of contract negotiations with Ted Turner.
CNN Continues To Test Definition Of ‘News’ With Morgan Spurlock Show
Friday, August 24 by

Pot, guns, prison? Who do they think they are, MSNBC?

Fight your own battles, baby!
Angelina Jolie Will Co-Star With One Of Her Many, Many Children In ‘Maleficent’
Thursday, August 23 by

Ohhhhhhh, the other 472 brothers and sisters are going to be soooo jealous.

Ned Flanders.
‘American Bible Challenge’ Is Hosted By Jeff Foxworthy, But Fails The Trifecta By Not Being On TNN
Wednesday, August 22 by

Unless it’s Ezekiel 25:17, I’m probably useless here.

No way they are actually wearing that! COME ON!
I Wish This Wasn’t Just A Movie And Television Site So I Could Talk About Avril Lavigne And Chad Kroeger’s Engagement
Wednesday, August 22 by

Screw it, I’m doing it anyway.

Sorry they annoyed you with their friendship, NBC.
‘The Office’ Is Done After Next Year, Which May Surprise People Who Thought It Was Already Cancelled
Tuesday, August 21 by

I hope Jim and Pam both lose their legs in separate car accidents and have to become “skateboard people.”

Would the owner of the Pontiac Vibe please move their car from Mr. West's reserved parking spot?
Kanye West To Possibly Bring His Brand Of Crazy To ‘American Idol’
Tuesday, August 21 by

I guess reanimating Michael Jackson’s corpse a la ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’ wasn’t so viable after all.

This type of flaming bullshit doesn't fly in Kiev.
Ukraine Sick Of Spongebob Squarepants Being So Gay, Seeks To Ban Him
Tuesday, August 21 by

These pineapples under the sea are quickly turning into Fire Island

John Goodman in what I can only presume is some sort of movie role.
John Goodman Might Join ‘The Hangover III’ *Crickets, Wolf Howl, Tumbleweed Rolling By*
Monday, August 20 by

Oh, man. This is gonna be so…mediocre.

"Robert Langdon Tom Hanks" is one of my top 12 favorite Tom Hanks looks.
Tom Hanks Thinks The Kennedy Assassination Is The New World War II
Monday, August 20 by

“…back and to the left. Back…and to the left.”

SIMILAR NAME ALERT!
Police Looking To Arrest Walter White For Cooking Lots Of Meth
Friday, August 17 by

Yes, we know the difference between fiction and reality.

Smile, John Slattery. You're awesome.
John Slattery To Appear On ‘Arrested Development’ In Awesome Display Of Synergy
Thursday, August 16 by

He probably seduced Lucille Bluth back in the 60′s.

Heyyyyyyy girrrrrrrllllllll.
Lucy Lawless To Play A Swanson Love Interest On ‘Parks And Recreation’
Thursday, August 16 by

I hope he doesn’t get his mustache rubbed off again.

Screen shot 2012-08-15 at 4.16.47 PM
Shia LaBeouf Giving Up Blockbusters, After Making Like 20 Of Them
Wednesday, August 15 by

“I’m done,” says the guy who has the luxury of saying that because the thing he’s done with has made him very rich.

Sweathog reunion in heaven.
Horshack From ‘Welcome Back, Kotter’ Died
Wednesday, August 15 by

Up your nose with a rubber hose…in heaven.

A photo of rap mogul Jay-Z before undergoing his pre-concert blackening.
Ron Howard, The Blackest Director We Know, Naturally Directing Jay-Z Documentary
Wednesday, August 15 by

Ya got a little dirt on your shoulder there, Opie.

I hope the person left standing gets clocked in the face with a folding chair. I would watch that.
Extreme Musical Chairs Premieres Tonight With The CW’s ‘Oh Sit!’
Wednesday, August 15 by

“‘Oh Sit!’? More like…’Oh F*ck!’”

Nell will straight up fucking murder you if you don't make that vig payment.
Jodie Foster Directing A Sort-Of Female ‘Sopranos’
Tuesday, August 14 by

“Quit bustin’ my labia.”

I would cite this photo in my "We're used to touching heads, and I just got carried away" defense.
Chad ‘Ochocinco’ Johnson Head-Butts His Wife, Loses His VH1 Reality Show
Tuesday, August 14 by

He should change his name to “Chad Head-o Butt-o.”