In a story that might not be of interest to our readership, or technically even “news,” but is very funny nonetheless, Larry King, when asked about his mortality, replied to…

Is The Rock the right choice to play a bodybuilder? Only time will tell….

An unimportant insider exchange begs some pretty serious questions about the way studios release films.

Statler and Waldorf are the only ones that represent the sentiments of the right.

If she goes by “Hindenberg,” that would just be freaky.

Separating fact from fictionalized…

In this version, Sesame Street will be riddled with IED’s and goat carcasses.

You think 8 entries will be enough to get you through the night, but you’ll probably hit me up and ask me for more by midnight.

And if you’re wondering what Buck Bundy the dog is up to…he’s dead.

None of them collect orphan tears like I do.

One of these films contains a collaboration between Mudhoney and Sir-Mix-A-Lot, who I just found out is not an actual knight.

He’ll be playing a tiny little soldier. How cute!

Reminds me of the time I used the Catherine Zeta-Jones film ‘No Reservations’ to diffuse a race riot.

Andy Serkis is the only person doing what he’s doing. He doesn’t need an award for that distinction.

Today in relevant news…

Reading this piece counts as three credits towards an English major.

He looks like a shaved Grinch.

It’s just kids being kids. Then it’s kids psychologically scarring kids. Then kids killing kids.

It actually takes place just before World War II, but it was close enough that Tom got interested.

The regular ‘Opie and Anthony’ guest was 41.

Stick a wooden spoon in your mouth before you even read this article.

‘Son of the Beach’ remains on hiatus, so keep up that letter-writing campaign, folks!

Sure, they’re just as baffling as real big-box retailers, but you’re likely to run into Chuck or Ash, which is a bonus in my book.

This is a way better idea than my ‘Night Court’-branded nocturnal legal services.

This could be the commercially accessible “edginess” NBC needs to turn things around. Just kidding.

Delicious!

You’ve been fooled, but you don’t care.

Sources close to him indicate that Jobs did both walk and talk, so Aaron Sorkin seems like a natural fit.

Biopics are the new tombstones.

If Eddie doesn’t want to be funny, that would explain a lot of his films.