This may not have been a Michael Richards-level incident, but it wasn’t good.

A mutation is defined as a genetic change or abnormality that makes a person really gross.

If anyone wants to come to my “‘Big Bang Theory’ is better than ‘Idol’” party this weekend, it will be held Sunday at a Golden Corral somewhere in Arkansas.

I always thought I would be the one to kill William Shatner.

Don’t get me wrong, finding out your dad was O.J. would still be completely and totally horrible…

If it’s anything like my experience with puzzles, the authorities will assemble the body only to discover they’re missing one tiny piece. Frustrating!

Donnie would have been in the corner, cowering like a little bitch.

This collection of recipes is how they turned Eddie Murphy into The Klumps.

It’s too early to tell if the victim deserved it, so let’s stop the speculation right now, guys.

This list will prove just how capable we writers are without our precious “Wikipedia.”

Welcome To The Club, Lana Del Rey…

I wonder if she’s Super-sized?

He should ban the real villain here, himself. Read on to figure out what the hell I’m talking about.

It’s a close-knit and folksy town full of violent felons.

It turns out that loading every meal with cream and salt might have negative health effects.

“Get ON your ass!” CW now owes me $10,000 because I just wrote this show’s tagline.

This article would be in poor taste if it wasn’t a Kardashian we were talking about.

If you eat his mustache trimmings, I’m assuming you become him?

Try to flex on him? Don’t be silly.

Now that this has been resolved, a nation can exhale and turn its focus to the presidential election.

Tom Cruise is missing out on a very obvious and lucrative opportunity here.

Sure, a few things went wrong, but on the bright side, it gave the guy who played Pedro a reason to leave the house.

The only downside is that if your pregnant wife gives birth those days, you’ll have a very unpleasant decision to make.

There should only be time for 35-50 double agents in this abridged version.

This is great news to both the handful of people who actually watched the show and the millions of others who inexplicably mourned its cancellation.

Shame on you, People’s Choice Awards, for disinviting Brand. SHAME ON YOUR EYES!

Whoever bet that “Randolph Mantooth” wouldn’t make the list…it’s time to pay the fiddler.

If you bought a ticket on the “Straight Talk Express,” buckle up, because it just went off the rails.

He Hearts Huckabees…And His Tranny Niece’s New Breasts

The universe can’t just offer this, then take it away. This must happen.