I blame Madonna, and yes, I’m comfortable doing that.

All those quotes mean I don’t take this thing very seriously.

OH GOOD, ADAM SANDLER!

The target market for this film is…coma patients and people that have died in front of the television.

If they were around, maybe I wouldn’t be such a terrible person.

In case that headline isn’t clear, Matthew Fox (allegedly) beats the women, while Dominic finds the act unsavory.

Click the link to see the image. It’s worth it. We wouldn’t lie to you. Not about this, anyway.

Lock up your cats!!! (Read the article to see why that’s funny.)

If you click this link, there’s an embedded video for Danzig’s “Mother.” I swear to God.

Andy Dick not only possesses box-office draw, but also the hearts and minds of America.

Most everyone in America will have outgrown G.I. Joe by then.

Sure, they’re all pretty gay, but who’s THE GAYEST?

Looks like “bad”….just got broken. *high fives everyone within a ten block radius*

It’s official: ‘Community’ will now make no one happy.

And let poor Jude Law fight his own battles.

And things don’t sound good.

Will he be the successor to Gus Fring? No. That would be ridiculous.

The story came about after a Paramount PR rep, wanted you to ask him, just this once, about his affairs.

Prepare for the irony of a pirate show not pirated by anyone on the Internet.

If he says he doesn’t know where to buy real Hoverboards, keep pestering him. He’ll give in and tell you.

Let’s talk about a real divisive issue…

NBC wants you to know that they’ll give you your favorite shows back, but you’ll get less of them.

It’s a step up from Gillette commercials, but not much of one.

Advantage: ‘Underworld’

Son of a bitch.

My spellcheck insists that “Stonecold” isn’t a real word. My spellcheck is cruising for a beatdown. Shit. It doesn’t recognize “beatdown” either.

“R” is short for “awesome.”

A list for Derby day!

Let’s find something we CAN agree on: Joel Schumacher’s were the worst.

I could put just about anything here, and you would wrongfully assume it was some obscure ‘Perfect Strangers’ reference. I’m not gonna do that to you.