The Daily Mail has offered that the producers of the franchise, Michael G. Wilson and the disgustingly named Barbara Broccoli, have approached Nolan with an offer to direct the next installment. No (reported) word on what the outcome of the (reported) talks are, but I’m sure we can hear all about it as soon as we get a source on the inside (allegedly).

Iron Man 3 is the 16th film to cross that threshold, with the other fifteen being:

• Ladybugs
• Monkeybone
• Goodburger
• Spy Kids 3
• All five of the Resident Evil Movies
• Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj
• Air Bud: Golden Receiver
• Take This Waltz
• Picture Perfect
• JCVD
• Major League 3: Back to the Minors

I can’t believe I was able to rattle off that whole list just from memory.

That’s actually not true at all. We write about it because it’s the best comedy of the past million years, and stories about Arrested Development are largely more interesting than stories about anything else.

This one is no exception.

After months of rumors (that I apparently had never heard) that the new season of A.D. was going to be constructed in such a fashion that the episodes can be played in any order, it turns out that creator Mitch Hurwitz has taken to Twitter to deny that.

Oh well. As far as I’m concerned, the first three seasons can be watched in any order with a such a small drop-off of enjoyment that I’m pretty sure this next season will be the same thing.

Unless the season sucks.

OH NO!

The show, so far untitled, has a murderer’s row of comedians, including T.J. Miller, Thomas Middleditch, Josh Brener, Lindsey Broad, Christopher Evan Welch, Amanda Crew, Angela Trimbur, ZachWoods and Kumail Nanjiani. But those guys will be pretty funny!

The tagline that has been bandied about here is “the people most qualified to succeed are the least capable of handling success.” Ugh. That describes every Aaron Sorkin project ever. Of course, it’s Mike Judge, so we needn’t worry.

You know, staplers, and whatnot.

Soooo… (SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN SEASON 8 FINALE)

If Ted doesn’t find his wife over the course of this weekend, I’m pretty sure this announcement allows us to bludgeon the producers, the cast, and most any other person on the planet out of sheer frustration.

It’s anticipated that the future wife/mother will be played by Cristin Milioti, and it’s been revealed that Ted will be the last of his friends to meet her, possibly because he’s a whiney tool, possibly because it helps the story.

However, you’ll have to make peace with your decision knowing that there is a fake Tobias Fünke website out there that serves the fictitious purpose of promoting a closeted homosexual’s fledgling acting career.

So, you can refuse to binge on AD hype for the next few days, or you can give in to those urges and visit Insert My Anywhere.

If it helps, Insert Me Anywhere has this banner ad:

Yet here we are as Robert Rodriguez divulges that the adaptation will be the backbone of his El Rey Network, which is an English-language station that will be geared towards Hispanic audiences. Already, I can hear hipsters salivating over the prospect of enjoying this channel ironically, spilling their taco truck tacos all over their vests and mustaches.

What a bloodbath.

The production houses Benderspink and Broken Road have teamed up to buy the rights to make a film out of the experiential chain restaurant. Although it’s not explicitly disclosed, I’m surprised that it took two parties to raise the $217 (I assume) to buy the rights to make a movie about a restaurant.

Exciting stuff.

No. No it isn’t.

What scene? A scene on Klingon with Kirk, John Harrison, and Uhuru. None of that means anything to me, but maybe it will to you. Note the conspicuous absence of Mr. Pegg. COULD THERE BE TROUBLE IN PARADISE BETWEEN THE LONGTIME FRIENDS?

Nah. They seem pretty chill.

The film has already opened in Europe, and hits US theaters next week, so you’ll have to writhe around until then to see what all the fuss is about. You can do it. I know you can.

Namely, he doesn’t like that cable bundles force us to buy channels we don’t want or use. It’s a familiar criticism, but one that’s unlikely to change due to the power of cable companies, McCain’s distance from the Senate Commerce Committee, and the fact that the cure might be worse than the disease.

Should cable companies unbundle, subscribers will have to shell out big bucks for their favorite channels like ESPN, FX, AMC, USA, TNT, and TBS, forcing them to realize that maybe they weren’t paying all that much for the Lifetime Movie Network in the first place.

The plan McCain is sponsoring is called the Television Consumer Freedom Act. The phrase “Television Consumer” makes me think of a fat person on the couch watching Anger Management, and “Freedom” makes me think that person is holding a tiny USA flag while doing so.

Now to what “bastard” am I referring?

Marvel’s Big Hero 6, which comes our way on November 7, 2014. The film follows a scientist and his robot who, along with myriad other colorful crimefighters, will take down the bad guys in a fictional city known as San Fransokyo.

Unsurprisingly, it looks as though Disney is trying to find the natural overlap between its core animation audience and the more kid-friendly Marvel titles. So far, so good.

“We’re in way over our bloody heads here. Let’s just license Raymond.”

(That’s how I imagine the BBC producers addressing the issue. You can tell they’re British because of their colorful language.)

It’s called The Smiths, and it will star Catherine Tate and Lee Mack as the schlubmaster general.

Of course, Russia already took to adapting Raymond, which tells us that a) TV execs aren’t very creative in other countries either, and b) lots of audiences worldwide hate their families.

I never was one to believe that death haunts people like in Final Destination, but in this instance, the inconvenience and frustration of a crumpled front end was an inevitability, and it comes to me later in the day in the form of a revitalized John Gotti biopic directed by Joe “Generic Name” Johnson and starring John Travolta.

You can’t cheat fate. There’s a whole saga behind this thing that you really don’t want to get into, as it involves Lohan, Kardashian, and Joe Pesci coming out of retirement, then suing the producers because he got too fat. Ok. Maybe you do want to revisit it.

It sounds pretty funny.

Enter Twivo, an app that strips all the spoilers from your Twitter timeline. Actually, it removes all references to TV shows and characters that you select, leaving you with a Twitter feed that’s probably just a bunch of pictures of food with the hashtags #belieber and #selfie.

SOOOOOO, if, for instance, you didn’t want to know that (SPOILER ALERT FOR REALS) Jamie Lanister lost his hand right before a bitchin’ Hold Steady cover of “The Bear and the Maiden Fair,” then you would probably pull “Jamie Lannister” and “Game of Thrones” from your Twitter feed using the app.

You can now find the app as a Chrome plug-in, but expect to see Twivo as a standalone app sometime around the end of this sentence.

Lest you think the 5.5 million viewers (6.8 million if ya count the second airing, too)is an anomaly, viewership has set records each of the past four weeks, leading me to believe that American audiences actually get off on being confused. Sick bastards.

Maybe the writers will reward this sort of popularity with some action, or, failing that, breasts or dragons.

Which is why he’s back for fifths following the success of Brad Bird‘s Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol. As you might remember having a Ghost Protocol is akin to being on Burn Notice, so do with that information what you will.

The film will be written and director by a chap named Christopher McQuarrie, who sounds like a Winnie the Pooh character, but is undoubtedly a fine creative mind.

The first round of movies being remade includes The She-Creature, Teenage Caveman, Viking Women And The Sea Serpent, The Undead, and War Of The Colossal Beast. I don’t know any of those films, so I will just nod politely and make reference to the robots on the spoof film show.

Tom SERVO!

Sadly, there will be no robots to mock these films, so we’ll have to pick up some of the slack there.

Before you go thinking that this will be a gritty reboot for the career of the former-child (now current-adult) star, let it be known that the project, Tokyo Vice, will be directed by music video director Anthony Mandler, who up until now has helmed videos from Nicki Minaj, fun., and Justin Bieber.

Expect lots of fish eye lenses and pink wigs. Which would seem out of place were this movie not set in Japan, where those types of things appear in all facets of daily life.

May I editorialize?

Thank you.

Veep is perhaps the funniest half-hour of TV on…TV. You know how people like funny shows that offer up a lot of heart as well? Those people didn’t like this show because this show hadn’t shown any heart. Until the last episode which offered an ending that leads the audience to believe that Selina Meyer MIGHT care about the decisions she makes, and her political career isn’t just one giant game.

While the show serves as a pretty bleak vantage point of contemporary politics, it doesn’t have to. You CAN just like the show because it’s a bunch of inept, weird people cursing at each other and their fun idiosyncrasies.

I promise no more editorializing for ten days, at least.

Oliver, in typical dry, pithy, British fashion, blogged, “”Don’t worry, it’s still going to be everything that you love about The Daily Show, just without the thing that you love the most about it.” Oh, John with an “h,” you’re just as special as “h”-less Jon, and don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.

Oliver steps in on June 10th with guest Seth Rogen, who many of you may know as having played schlubs his entire acting career.

The interview will air Sunday, and will mark Jason Collins’ historic 1,000,000,000th interview this week. PROUD OF YOU, JASON!

It’s unlikely Opes will break any new ground in her interview, as the subject became well-worn territory the afternoon that it was announced, but she can inject a gravitas to the interview that no one else can. And to her legions of followers, Oprah

Since saying, “These turtles are from an alien race, and they’re going to be tough, edgy, funny, and completely lovable,” a year ago, Michael Bay has changed his tune, this time offering up, “There was that quote saying that we’re making them aliens. We’re not. It’s the ooze!”

I like the exclamation point after “ooze.” It’s a nice touch, and makes this written quote seem as though it should be barked by Tom Cruise or Will Smith.

While it’s pretty likely that Michael Bay heard the rumblings of the internet and changed the script, it’s all a fool’s errand, as adults who are enamored of the Ninja Turtles will always be unhappy about something (their own lives), and will take it out on the easiest person on hand (always Michael Bay).

Embrace it, Michael, and make them Teenage Mutant Jewish Turtles, and have them solve a fictionalized version of the Boston Marathon bombing. Give them something that DESERVES to be criticized.

While it’s one of the most beloved and successful superhero franchises of all time, Iron Man isn’t above reproach, if only because superhero movies, no matter how good, are a little unoriginal, and tend to get a few things wrong in their attempts at greatness and grandeur.

Sorry, RDJ. You’re not perfect. You’re just very, very good.

But we’re still gonna pick out all your shortcomings in this video. Because we’re jerks like that.

Nobody knows what the hell a warbuck is, but even the lamest, whitest people know what Stacks means thanks to Jessie Pinkman from Breaking Bad.

The film will star Quvenzhané Wallis, who will play Annie, and whose character will still be named Annie, because while the second-tier characters can have their names changed, you can’t change the title of the film, cause then you lose all that sweet synergy by mashing up something classic with something new and phresh.

Phortunately, that’s not the case here.

It looks to be a huge scale for any director, so let’s hoep that del Toro’s smaller sensibilities allow him to toe the line here and create something that isn’t just a Roland Emmerich redux. Hiring Charlie as “disheveled scientist” may not exactly breed confidence there, but it’s Charlie, and we’ll take him when we can get him.

Soderbergh won’t be directing, because too much sexuality that close isn’t a good thing, but he will be curating the project as a producer. His absence from the director’s chair is actually being cited as a “break” from directing, rather than his pseudo-retirement that actually wasn’t at all.

It’s widely believed that the plot of Magic Mike 2 will be “abs and pecs.”

The premise of a school teacher traveling back to the 1960′s to stop the assassination of JFK seems to be right up Abrams’ alley with both the time traveling and the elements of 1960′s culture.

This announcement should keep Abrams’ attention until next week, when he will get behind a gritty reboot of Mario Bros. or something.

The film will be based on graphic novels of the beast which paint the MONSTER as endearingly human and vulnerable. So that’s where the similarities to Seth Rogen stop, apparently. Just kidding. JUST KIDDING. He’s likable in small-to-moderate doses.

Rogen will be teaming up with his writing partner Evan Goldberg and American Dad writer Matt McKenna, so…expect a comedy?

This isn’t his first stab at the undertaking, having developed a pilot in 2003 that never went anywhere, but that’s back when TV was terrible, and now it’s really good. Which means it should be made on a cable network, possibly on, I don’t know, a Sunday night?

Assuming it does get picked up, it probably won’t find its way to FX, where they’re developing Shakedown, a similar concept about tabloids and corruption in LA in the late 1950′s.

I think there’s room for two shows this awesome on TV at the same time. (A.V. Club)

With the working title Cocoa Beach, the show was announced to the mayor of the Florida town, a man who probably isn’t normally so “in the loop” when it comes to breaking entertainment stories. Which is odd, because they still require a subscription to read their quaint stories, which means I’m not going to link to them at all. Oh well.

No news on stars, networks, or time frames, but that just provides us with an opportunity to recklessly speculate: Danny Glover and Dev Patel, ESPN Classic, June ’14.