The Blu-Ray looks amazing, crystal clear and colorful. And, I’m aware of how dorky this is, but I was quite happy the loading time on the disc was very low. (I hope I’m not the only one to recognize the leaps and bounds Blu-Ray loading times have made. I remember the first Blu-Ray I bought took forever. And by forever, I mean about 10 seconds. But those are 10 seconds of looking at cat and girl photos on the Internet that I won’t get back!)

It’s not packed to the gills with features, but what it does have is pretty good. “Countdown to the Fight: The Charlie Kenton Story” is sort of a behind-the-music video of Hugh Jackman‘s character from the film. You only need to watch it if you’re an “extra features completist.” Otherwise, you can skip it.

“Making of Metal Valley” is a great feature where you see how they created a large sequence in the film. Director Shawn Levy does most of the talking and explaining as they show how they created Metal Valley, which had no real description in the script (isn’t that something of a screenwriting no-no? And is saying no-no a no-no?) Levy gives a lot of credit to his crew for helping create the film, which is nice to see since Hollywood is full of many egotistical directors (COUGH-Michael Bay-COUGH).

The rest of the features are a nice watch. Sugar Ray Leonard has a five minute segment detailing how he helped Hugh Jackman act like a real boxer. “Building Bots” is a cool behind-the-scenes look at how they created the practical and CGI robots. “Real Steel Second Screen” is a feature where you download an app to your computer or iPad, sync it to the film playing on your TV, and watch more extra features while the film plays. It’s a pretty cool feature and something I hope gets included on more Blu-Rays.

And finishing things out are your standard deleted and extended scnes, bloopers, and audio commentary by Levy, who is a fairly charming and interesting guy.

Overall, it’s a great Blu-Ray, It looks phenomenal, and has some fun features you can enjoy. Also, the film provides you with the fun game of “Who is Hotter: Hugh Jackman or Evangeline Lilly?” Man or woman, it’s a tough game.

While the final screenplay is months away, we found the following rough treatment, supposedly written by Marshall and Fugate, on the Internet. Is it real? We think so. Take a look and decide for yourself.

Hilary Swank plays Nikki Foster, the blushing bride. This is a day she has dreamed of forever (as told through sepia-toned flashbacks to when she was a kid and playing with Barbies in her room, creating wedding scenarios with various other toys. The husband toy is a Ninja Turtle, but which turtle remains to be determined.)

Her groom is Howard (Howie) Sharts, played by Ashton Kutcher. Howie loves Nikki, but is having issues with the idea that he will be off the market. As told in sepia-toned flashbacks, Howie has always had it easy when getting ladies, even going as far as kissing his third-grade math teacher! He jokes about having feelings for that teacher still. YOU’LL SEE!

Nikki’s Maid-of-Honor is played by Selena Gomez, a young intern at the talent agency she manages. She’s zany and out there, but loving. But, she is worried Nikki isn’t going to get her dream wedding because of their family.

The family is so crazy!

Foster’s parents are played by Marshall and a famous old lady, hopefully Meryl Streep. If not her, then Fergie and we’ll just add some young-bride jokes. It’ll be hilarious. We might just do that. Anyway, they’re uber religious which is upsetting to the Sharts: Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino! They are a fun-loving old gay couple. Will their alternative lifestyle ruin the wedding? WHO KNOWS! (We do, but we’re holding it in.)

The Best Man is none other than Justin Bieber. He is going to this wedding in full hook-up mode. (Do you see a Bieber/Gomez duet at the reception? BECAUSE WE DO! Ahhhhhhh-dorable.)

Nikki’s boss, Barry Face, is also thinking of attending. He is played by Axel Rose. He doesn’t know if he wants to attend because he’s had feelings for Nikki in the past. Nikki has even thought about going along with those feelings, but stops due to her love for Howie. Barry’s wife is played by Queen Latifah. She is a crazy lady who is always trying to raise the roof. It’ll be hilarious. (GARY MARSHALL’S NOTE: I like how she is black but not too black, you know?)

Nikki’s old high school BFF is also attending. This is Rachel, played by Jessica Biel. She wanted to fly but due to her husband’s fear of flying, cannot. They have to roadtrip it across country. And who is her husband? Kanye West! They have fun along the way, but also have hard times and stuff. Do they make it? Who knows? Do they come back together at the end when Latifah joins the Bieber/Gomez duet? Wink!

Shart’s friends are also coming! His buddy from college, Dillon Dong (that name will always be funny!) played by Jamie Foxx, is super excited to make it. But he’s worried about his wife’s condition. She is pregnant, not with one kid, BUT WITH SEVEN! (GARY MARSHALL’S NOTE: That’s a lot of oreos!) The wife is played by Abigail Breslin

The florist of the wedding is crazy! This part is played by Katherine Heigl. You guys, she’s really crazy. Like, she gets all upset when things aren’t correct. She’s always worried about the weather that day, trying to always get the most up-to-date news from Kris Humphries, the local TV Weather Man! He is really laid back and just loves clouds. They have a hateful relationship, but as you know, a flower can grow from “Dung.” HAHAHAHA. (GARY MARSHALL’S NOTE: HAHAHA).

The rest of Nikki’s wedding party is played by the girls from Glee. Will they sing? You never know! (GARY MARSHALL’S NOTE: Yes.)

Sharts’ wedding party isn’t as big. Just his best man and Kyle Hurffs, played by Taylor Lautner. Kyle is shy and reserved. He is always looking for love in all the wrong places. He wonders if maybe the love of his life will be at the wedding.

And maybe it is, as Lilly Collins, played by Kathy Bates.

Meanwhile, the priest for the wedding is doubting his faith. Father Patrick McIrishname, played by George Lopez, is wondering if God even exists. This worries Sharts, who is wondering if love exists! How can they help each other?

They can help each other by talking to a Jewish Rabbi played by Ludacris! Luda is a Jew with a smooth attitude (GARY MARSHALL’S NOTE: Have him do a dance at the wedding called the Dreidel Cradle, where he sticks his legs out, jumps, and spins.)

Then there are the caterers! Sammy and Danny, played by Lady Gaga and Andy Serkis (who will actually be CGI in the movie, done through motion capture technology by Andy Serkis). They are always fighting about what kind of food to make. Sammy wants crazy! Danny wants elegant. These two really hate each other. But will they f*ck? Nope, they’re siblings! Crazy, right?

Everyone makes it to the wedding. It’s five minutes until Sharts is suppose to go to the alter, but something happens: his third-grade math teacher Mr. Taints played by Rip Torn! Sharts doesn’t know if he wants to have a gay life with him, or a straight life with Nikki. He is torn inside. That’s when Father McIrishname enters and tells Sharts that he needs to follow his heart.

Sharts thinks about it, gives his Mr. Taints a hug and says, “Sorry. But my love for Nikki can’t be subtracted.” Father McIrishname then sees Jesus giving him a thumbs up from the alter. Jesus is to be played by Tim Allen.

Then they get married and everyone is happy. Also, Breslin’s babies are delivered on the dance floor and the movie ends with everyone sliding around, laughing and having fun.

Well, not really. It wasn’t that bad. In fact, it’s an R-rated action film that probably would have been huge in the 90′s, but not in our cynical-10s (is that what it is? 10s? What about O-10s? That’s what I’m going to use. Try to stop me.)

The DVD and Blu-Ray are sparse on extras, but the ones they have are interesting nonetheless. “The Conan Legacy” is a pretty cool 18-minute history of the character that is really well made. The most interesting comment was by one of the film’s producers saying they cast Jason Momoa, and unknown actor, so they wouldn’t have to have someone who would be compared to Arnold Schwarzenegger. That seems slightly odd considering how anyone who would have been cast would have been compared to Arnold. I understand he is trying to find a more finess way of saying, “We cast an unknown because this movie had to be cheap.”

“Robert E. Howard – The Man Who Would Be Conan” is a short look at the man who created the character. It’s a fun watch. But, the two best features are about staging the fights.

“Battle Royal – Engineering the Action” is a look at how the stunt coordinators worked. It gives you a lot of insight into how they get these intricate fights created and ready to shoot. Spoiler Alert! Editing and many angles makes these fights interesting. Seeing the fights actually being created is funny because the actors are barely making contact and are slow. But it’s great to see the creation and final product, which makes “Staging the Fights” even cooler. The filmmakers actually shot many of the fights scenes in pre-production with stunt doubles and referred to these short films when shooting the actual movie. It’s great to see the stunt double version versus the final version.

The final two special features are audio commentaries, one with the director, Marcus Nispel (which breaks the main commentary rule: never only have one person. It’s very boring and very quiet). The other is with Momoa and Rose McGowan, which really should be called “Everything is About Rose McGowan” because she finds a way to make everything about her. Even scenes she isn’t in are somehow about her. The only thing she doesn’t talk about is the amount of plastic surgeons it took to turn her face into a flat, plastic shell of its former self.

I think Conan is worth giving a chance. It’s campy, gory, and has some decent laughs. Also, some nudity. And that’s always good, right? (No. See About Schmidt).

The film was released today on Blu-ray DVD in the Jurassic Park Trilogy Box Set. Now, the second and third films aren’t as beloved as the first, so some of you might be hesitant to purchase the entire series. But you shouldn’t be. The first film is worth that money alone. And come on, the second film isn’t as bad as you remember (since Jeff Goldblum is awesome and insane). The third film is… never mind.

So, what are you getting with this blu-ray? You’re getting the best possible picture for these films. It’s crisp, colorful, and gorgeous. The sound is as amazing as if you were in a theater, and if you have 7.1 surround sound, you’ll enjoy it even more.

Wit the box set, you’re also getting all the extras from the DVD releases plus a great six-part documentary about the making of the trilogy. It clocks in at just over two hours and it’s worth watching every minute. The first film gets three parts. You get to see the original stop-motion dinosaur animation, and thank God they went digital (though hearing the animators talk about it is pretty sad.) All the actors are back, and they are a pleasure to listen to (especially Jeff Goldblum…again, awesome and insane). And of course, hearing Steven Spielberg talk about making movies is about as entertaining as his movies.

The second film has two parts, which are more of the same, but still highly interesting for Jurassic Park fans. And then the third film gets one part, and it starts with talking about the Jurassic Park ride, which is sort of funny if you think about it. But, give it a watch anyway. William H. Macy is cool and he talks a lot.

The trilogy is released today with an SRP of $79.98, but many retailers are selling it for much less. In my opinion, this is definitely one you need in your Blu-ray collection.