Screen Junkies » Georgie Guinane http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Wed, 24 Sep 2014 20:50:39 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 “Annie” Remake: Let’s (NOT) Go to the Movies! http://www.screenjunkies.com/general/annie-remake-cameron-diaz/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/general/annie-remake-cameron-diaz/#comments Thu, 06 Mar 2014 02:17:37 +0000 Georgie Guinane http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=259952 It hurts me so much just to watch this.

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Annie is the latest classic family film to be made into a shit-storm of a remake, starring Jamie Foxx as “Daddy Warbucks,” Cameron Diaz as “Miss Hannigan,” and Quvenzhane Wallis as “Annie.”

 

Watch the trailer below, and try not to beat your head against a wall too hard while cursing Easy A director Will Gluck for casting Cameron Diaz as a completely ridiculous “white-woman-in-the-hood” version of Miss Hannigan…

 

7 Reasons This is Going to Be One of the Worst Remakes in History:

 

1. WHERE THE F*CK IS ROOSTER?!  I’m sorry, but an “Annie,” without Tim Curry‘s “Rooster,” is like a “Disneyland” without any rides.  Not only is Tim Curry not in this remake, the iconic character didn’t even make it into the trailer.  (I don’t even know if there IS a “Rooster” in this new version– and don’t even get me started on the fact that they may have also cut “Punjab”…)

 

 

2. SANDY ISN’T A FLUFFY DOG?!  This is probably a personal preference/need, but I need Sandy to be shaggy and WHY THE HELL IS SHE CHASING SANDY WHEN SANDY IS SUPPOSED TO BE CHASING HER.

 

3. WHAT IS WITH THIS KATY-PERRY-MEETS-GLEE-UPDATED-SOUNDTRACK?! No.

 

4. EVEN CAMERON DIAZ DOESN’T BUY CAMERON DIAZ AS A BELIEVABLE MISS HANNIGAN. It’s difficult to believe Cameron Diaz as the disdainful, heartless, and pitiless old maid, but I’m not sure if it’s her horrible acting, or the fact that they’ve dressed her up to like an extra from The Jersey Shore (Also, where’s the obvious alcoholism?  Loneliness? FUNDLES WITH MR. BUNDLES?!)  Seriously, where the f–k is Mr. Bundles?

 

 

5. THE WORST DIALOGUE I THINK I’VE EVER HEARD IN A TRAILER.

“Why you runnin’?”

“It gets me places quicker!”

“Little kids…”

Oh. my. god. (And don’t even get me started on that George Clooney joke, DON’T EVEN.)

 

6. IS QUVENZHALE EVEN TRYING TO ACT?  I see her speaking words, yet she has less emotion in her delivery than the Cobb Salad I ate this afternoon.

 

 

7. THE GREATEST SONG-AND-DANCE-NUMBER IN THE MUSICAL LOOKS LIKE A CHEESY VIRAL WEDDING PROPOSAL.  Red balloons?  Really?

 

8. HIS NAME ISN’T EVEN (DADDY) WARBUCKS!!! It’s “Mr. Stacks,” and he’s a politician.  Let’s also point out that Jamie Foxx‘s delivery of the line, “This is a joyous occasion” when he hears that they found Annie’s parents, is almost as bad as Cameron Diaz‘ delivery of every single line in this trailer.  Ouch.

 

 

My future-children are never seeing this movie.  It’s officially banned in my future-house.

 

What is this YouTube sh*t?! WHERE’S PUNJAB?!

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Honest Previews: “Non-Stop” with Liam Neeson http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/honest-previews-non-stop-with-liam-neeson/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/honest-previews-non-stop-with-liam-neeson/#comments Fri, 28 Feb 2014 21:53:39 +0000 Georgie Guinane http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=259803 Get ready to see one more movie that will leave you planning to never board a plane again!!

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Get ready to see one more movie that will leave you planning to never board a plane again!! #Flight #FlightPlan #SnakesOnAPlane #SoulPlane #NonStop

In Non-Stop, Liam Neeson plays a US Air Marshall whose job is to not let anyone hijack the plane, kill anyone on the plane, or attempt go to the bathroom while the “Fasten Your Seatbelt” sign has been turned on, on the plane. (So you’d better hold that shit in, or he will find you and kill you with his very particular set of skills on that toilet, bitch.) 

The entire film takes place on one non-stop flight, so don’t expect any time for romance! … HA!! Just kidding!  This is a movie, not real life!  Thus, THERE WILL BE ROMANCE ON THAT PLANE, DAMMIT.  My guess is he’s either getting off the plane with Julianne Moore or Michelle Dockery.  Mile High Club, perhaps?  Probably no—who do you think he is, older Jason Statham?!)

Plot: An anonymous source is sending Liam Neeson creepy texts, threatening to kill someone on the plane every 20 minutes if he doesn’t transfer $150 Million dollars to an account (WHAT AN ORIGINAL MOTIVE!)  Once people start dying and shit gets real, he’s got to find the passenger on the plane who’s the baddie.   PLOT TWIST: The baddie’s account is in Neeson’s name, so everybody in the Army goes batshit because everybody believes he’s the baddie, rather than the goodie he KNOWS HE IS… BUT IS HE????!!! OMG WHAT IF THIS IS JUST LIKE FIGHT CLUB?! What if this is… FLIGHT CLUB.  If that’s the case, then my guess is Julianne Moore is his Tyler Durden and wow what a terrible, hackneyed plot twist that would be…

Should you go see it?…

HELL. YES.  I will never tell you to not go see a movie in which Liam Neeson plays a badass hero with demons, who has a very limited amount of time to SAVE EVERYONE—which is every goddamn Liam Neeson movie, forever…

Watch the trailer and try to figure out which random extra is going to end up being the true villain!:

 

 

My guess is creepy baldie business guy, front and left. 

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Pixar Artist Turns Classic R-Rated Movie Scenes into a Children’s Book http://www.screenjunkies.com/general/pixar-r-rated-cartoons/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/general/pixar-r-rated-cartoons/#comments Wed, 19 Feb 2014 21:20:03 +0000 Georgie Guinane http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=259501 Pixar artist Josh Cooley has been a storyboard artist for over a decade, but in his spare time he likes to turn iconic R-Rated film scenes into cartoons.  (In my...

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Pixar artist Josh Cooley has been a storyboard artist for over a decade, but in his spare time he likes to turn iconic R-Rated film scenes into cartoons.  (In my spare time I like to think about food, so this guy is really impressing me right now.)

 

He’s turned his images into a real “children’s” book called Movies R Fun, which comes out March 1st.

 

You’ll realize why I’m putting quotes around “children’s” once you see these…

 

 

To see the rest of Mr. Cooley’s R-rated cartoons, click here!

 

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The Walking Dead Drinking Game – In Time For Sunday’s Premiere http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/the-walking-dead-drinking-game-in-time-for-sundays-premiere/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/the-walking-dead-drinking-game-in-time-for-sundays-premiere/#comments Fri, 07 Feb 2014 23:16:04 +0000 Georgie Guinane http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=259216 The Walking Dead returns to AMC on Sunday, February 9th with a mid-season premiere that promises to be even darker than previous seasons.  Good, because frankly graphic murder images like...

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The Walking Dead returns to AMC on Sunday, February 9th with a mid-season premiere that promises to be even darker than previous seasons.  Good, because frankly graphic murder images like these just weren’t doing it for me anymore…

 

Ugh, not enough guts.

 

I’m as bored from this kill as that hippie zombie chick behind him.

 

To kick off the somehow-darker-and-more-existential-than-ever-before mid-season premiere, here’s a drinking game that will make you feel like the walking dead the next day.  (See what I did there?  Yeah, it was terrible.  I know.)

 

Drink…

 

  • The first time you see a zombie.
  • A zombie attack begins.
  • A zombie is killed.
  • Someone dies.  If it’s a character you liked, chug until the pain goes away.
  • Someone runs out of ammunition at a critical moment.
  • For every dramatic, elongated closeup.
  • Rick gives a heroic speech or talk of some sort.  Drink twice if it’s directed at Carl.
  • Daryl is the biggest badass you wish you knew.
  • Glenn gets too emotional.
  • Carl does something stupid that puts himself or someone else in danger.
  • Someone goes missing, or someone who was missing shows up.
  • Someone or a group is trapped by zombies.
  • Someone is clearly having a nostalgic inner moment, thinking about the “better times,” when they weren’t constantly running meandering away from zombies for their lives…

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This Parody of “The Usual Suspects” is a Tasty Treat http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/this-parody-of-the-usual-suspects-is-a-tasty-treat/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/this-parody-of-the-usual-suspects-is-a-tasty-treat/#comments Fri, 07 Feb 2014 00:43:40 +0000 Georgie Guinane http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=259180 Kevin Spacey approved. (Not really, though.)

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Watch your favorite snacks re-enact this iconic scene from Usual Suspects- shot for shot.  

 

 

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