Poor people were so god damn miserable in early nineteenth century France, they just had to sing about it.

The Fox lot, which was constructed in an alternate universe where “Fringe” is a hit, ordered more episodes to fill the black hole that is Friday evenings.

‘I, Alex Cross’ will star non-teen heartthrob Perry. In fact, an image of Madea is a good romantic mood killer for people of all ages.

I’m sure Mickey’s been asking executives at Disney, in a high-pitched voice for 83 years, “who do I have to bl*w around here to star in a feature?”

Scientists have combined “Jersey Shore” cast member Snooki and Tyler Perry’s Madea, so it can be stuffed into a rocket ship and blasted into the sun.

The new movie, with the totally not hipster-y title ‘Moonrise Kingdom’, stars Bruce Willis, Frances McDormand and of course, Schwartzman.

The Jurassic Park 3 star is headed to HBO in “Spring/Fall,” as hazy memories of the 90s slowly come back to me.

No, these movies are not just gonna sit on an executive’s shelf as multi-million dollar dust catchers. They’re coming to theaters.

This might be director Will Gluck’s (‘Easy A’) big chance to swipe his piece of the big cheese rock in the sky.

You know what I don’t want to pay for? Showtime. But now they expect me to for some reason.

The director is finally dusting off his sci-fi caper film, with the clever name “untitled ‘Moon’ project,” and is talking to Fox, Rosario Dawson, Andrew Garfield and many more.

“Venture Bros” co-creator Jackson Publick posted great news about his Adult Swim show on LiveJournal. Yeah, LiveJournal. Remember LiveJournal?

Director Oliver Stone has got the Toro hookup, cause he’s the latest to sign on for Stone’s drug drama ‘Savages’.

Andrew Garfield, James McAvoy and Robert Pattinson are all up for the lead role of Tetsuo. If the audition requires shirtlessness, Pattinson’s got the experience edge.

‘Unreasonable Doubt’ is about what happens when two jurors fall in love in a ’12 Angry Men’ style setting. Isn’t that like Pauly Shore’s ‘Jury Duty’?

McShane plays a disapproving dad king in Bryan Singer’s new film, which I imagine will be exactly like his role in ‘Hot Rod’, only kinglier.

Franco took to Twitter to blast hard-to-look-at Oscar joke writer Bruce Vilanch. Is he really blaming Vilanch? Did he slip Franco sleeping pills or something?

Apparently Universal is mounting a version of the famous musical with Streisand as the awful stage mom who loudly sings “Everything’s Coming Up Roses.”

It’s time to liven things up with somber ol’ Blackbeard from ‘On Stranger Tides’ and that skull he’s always carrying. The one he brings to parties as an ice breaker.

Writer Chabon (Spider-Man 2, The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay) might be tapped to rewrite Magic Kingdom for Disney.

Stephen Lang (‘Avatar’) plays Khalar Zym, and he looks ticked off about something. Maybe the Rogaine didn’t take?

Today we got word that Gordon-Levitt has signed the Bat Contract with Warner Bros. and will enter Gotham city limits. Juno Temple might join him.

Apatow is a celebrity, but you don’t see him flying to Africa to adopt/steal a bunch of babies. So maybe he’s onto something with his new movie pitch.

The Insanity Express is starting to shape up. Sheen and his extremely frustrated lawyers have added 12 new stops to his one-man show across the US and Canada.

Fox Searchlight wants an Oscar nominated director to helm the Russ Meyer biopic. Meyer was the writer/director/producer/craft services/breast appreciator for a number of famous b-movies.

Oliver Stone wants Johnson to play a pothead, and he might also star opposite Keira Knightley. Good life.

If you build a ‘Superman’ reboot, Kevin Costner will come. Specifically, he’ll come on board as Clark Kent’s dad for Zack Snyder’s ‘Superman: Man of Steel’.

Lawrence officially did get the part in ‘Hunger Games’, a film franchise that’s getting hyped as the new ‘Twilight’. *Confetti*

Brooks is in negotiations for a part in the ‘Knocked Up’ spin-off, which I assume includes a lot of sad puppy dog faces from the Brooks camp.

‘Superman’ reboot director Snyder will take a thankfully bizarro approach to Bryan Singer’s action-less version.