spider-man-black-swan
‘Spider-Man’ Director Teams With ‘Black Swan’ Writer For Sure-To-Be-Weird Sci-Fi Movie
Wednesday, January 26 by

There’s nothing weirder than a crazy ballerina who lezes out and thinks she’s turning into an evil bird, so writing a straight up sci-fi movie should be a cakewalk for screenwriter Mark Heyman.

conan-obrien
‘Conan’ Is A Hit, Insists Conan’s Agent and Conan’s Mom
Tuesday, January 25 by

When is a hit show possibly not a hit show? When everyone is DVRing it.

naomi-watts
Naomi Watts Greatly Increases Boob Count Of ‘J. Edgar’ Cast
Tuesday, January 25 by

Also increased: the chances for an explicit lesbian sex scene.

roger-ebert-hates-3d
3D Is Bad For Your Brain Because Roger Ebert Says So
Tuesday, January 25 by

Critic Roger Ebert sticks his downward thumb right into the audience, saying it’s stupid to pay top dollar for movies designed to give you a headache.

alec-baldwin
Alec Baldwin May Live Liberal Wet Dream As MSNBC Host
Tuesday, January 25 by

He might be #1 on the list to replace Keith Olbermann. I still think he should stick to selling microwaves.

anna-faris
New Zealand Apologizes To Anna Faris, Will Faris Apologize For ‘Yogi Bear?’
Tuesday, January 25 by

Faris got harassed on the New Zealand set of ‘Yogi Bear,’ and the country said some things it later regretted.

chris-hemsworth-thor-avengers
‘Thor’ Star Chris Hemsworth Read ‘The Avengers’ Script, Has Doubts
Monday, January 24 by

Even the Nordic demi-god can’t fathom the scale of this film.

irish-fight-knuckle-documentary
Two Irish Families Beat Each Other Senseless In New HBO Project
Monday, January 24 by

It sounds like the unholy child of ‘Step By Step’ and ‘Fight Club.’

james-franco
Yet Another Linda Lovelace Biopic To Provide Yet Another Role For James Franco?
Monday, January 24 by

James Franco is in talks to play opposite Kate Hudson in the ‘Deep Throat’ star’s biopic, because he needs more roles to cement his status as Hollywood’s leading manwhore.

expendables-truck-thumbnail
Stallone’s ‘Expendables’ Truck Sells For $134K, Able To Blow Up Lightning McQueen
Monday, January 24 by

Also up for auction were cars driven by Evel Knievel, Alice Cooper and Elvis. The theme of the auction must have been “Big In The 70s.”

sharktopus
‘Piranhaconda’ Proves Team ‘Sharktopus’ Is Not Out Of Ideas
Monday, January 24 by

Prolific producer Roger Corman, who will have completed a film by the time you finish reading this sentence, is creating another movie monster for you to kind of like ironically.

wonder-woman-invisible-plane
Wonder Woman Lands Her Ridiculous Invisible Plane At NBC
Friday, January 21 by

There’s a lot of lame elements to Wonder Woman, and if anyone knows about lame superhero shows, it’s NBC.

no-wolverine-xmen-first-class
No Wolverine In ‘X-Men: First Class,’ Cyclops Given Metal Claws
Friday, January 21 by

There’s not gonna be a Wolverine cameo, bub. However, you will get a very different take on Professor X.

anthony-hopkins-alfred-hitchcock
Hopkins May Play Hitchcock, And If So, How Psychotically?
Friday, January 21 by

Everyone’s favorite lamb silencer is in talks to play the ‘Psycho’ director.

Harry-Potter-and-the-Deathly-Hallows
Spoiler For Potterheads: New Death For Major Character In ‘Deathly Hallows 2′
Friday, January 21 by

The siren song of Harry Potter movie spoilers is impossible to resist…

drake-rapper
Rapper Drake Plans To Blandly Star In ‘Arbitrage’
Friday, January 21 by

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Lazy Eyes is looking to add a second movie role to his filmography.

kiefer-sutherland-24
Kiefer Sutherland Will Make ’24′ Movie By Any Means Necessary
Thursday, January 20 by

The movie version of Fox’s retired hit drama ’24′ is not dead. It’s just been sitting in a basement, tied to a chair, waiting for Jack Bauer to waterboard the sh*t out of it.

scream-4-poster
“Check Out The New ‘Scream 4′ Pics,” Says Distorted Voice Over Phone
Thursday, January 20 by

A murderer with a creepy mask on is staring at you, while you stare at these pictures from the upcoming ‘Scream 4.’

kung-fu-panda
New ‘Kung Fu Panda 2′ Stills Feature Panda, Kung Fu
Thursday, January 20 by

Po the Panda Bear is coming back to theaters to fight his greatest enemy yet: the declining sales of ‘Kung Fu Panda’ toys, backpacks and other sh*t.

Deadliest-Warrior
‘Deadliest Warrior’ Movie Finds Writers, Forces Them To Battle
Thursday, January 20 by

Of course, the most important part of the film will be blood gushing sound effects every six minutes, but I suppose plot and dialogue can’t hurt.

star-tours-2.0
New ‘Star Wars’ Disneyland Ride Has Full Intention Of Being Not Awful
Thursday, January 20 by

George Lucas is re-making the classic ‘Star Tours’ Disneyland ride and re-releasing the whole ‘Star Wars’ series on Blu-Ray. Is there anything he won’t “re-”?

johnny-depp
Johnny Depp To Star In Disney’s ‘Oz’ And All Future Disney Movies
Wednesday, January 19 by

Robert Downey Jr. is out, so the Disney folks called Johnny Depp. They used the telephone in CEO Bob Iger’s office that’s a direct line to Depp’s meditation cave.

x-men-first-class-poster
‘X-Men: First Class’ Poster Features Giant “X” And Some Words
Wednesday, January 19 by

Man, that’s some “X.” Maybe it’s the biggest X in eXistence?

jeff-gaspin-200k-bathroom-nbc
NBC Executive Of Douchebaggery Fired For Having $200K Bathroom
Wednesday, January 19 by

We want to congratulate ex-NBC Chairman Jeff Gaspin for having gigantic balls, which apparently needed a very fancy washroom to be occasionally exposed in throughout the day.

jay-z-will-smith-willow-smith
Jay-Z, Will Smith and Willow Smith To Remake ‘Annie’ Because Why?
Wednesday, January 19 by

Willow Smith may star as the ancient comic strip orphan in a new version produced by her rappin’ dad.

bob-fosse-choreography
Bryan Singer Uses Jazz Hand Powers To Direct Fosse Biopic
Wednesday, January 19 by

HBO Films must think the musical theater world is full of freaks, because they brought in X-Men director Bryan Singer to helm their upcoming Bob Fosse movie.

imfdb-balls-of-fury
Internet Movie Firearm Database Guns Down The IMDB
Tuesday, January 18 by

Meet the website that’s in every NRA member’s Google Reader.

tim-kring
‘Heroes’ Creator Sells ‘Mute Autistic Super-Boy’ Series To Fox
Tuesday, January 18 by

In the end, it turns out the autistic boy’s life was the collective dream of everyone on the show ‘St. Elsewhere.’

spider-man-truck-stunt-tmz
TMZ Chuckles Heartily At New ‘Spider-Man’ Stunt Video
Tuesday, January 18 by

The TMZ dudes recording the video with their Flip thought Spider-Man’s flip was hilarious. Yeah, I bet they’re laughing cause they can do that stunt a whole lot better.

bruce-willis-kevin-smith-cop-out
Bruce Willis Crushed Kevin Smith’s Soul, Exclaimed “Yippiee-Ki-Yay!”
Tuesday, January 18 by

Who’s to blame for ‘Cop Out’? Don’t look now, but I think the fat guy is glaring menacingly at baldy.