If you’re a potential series like “Alcatraz,” how do you escape from pilot prison into the TV schedule? Answer: a “Created by J.J. Abrams” tattoo.

The marketing team behind these ‘X-Men: First Class’ posters have revealed their mutant power: they can create images that boggle the mind with terribleness.

A few other actors who have a chance at “winning” a lead on “Two and a Half Men.” The list includes John Stamos, Martin Sheen and… Heather Locklear?

Things I like: Cameron Diaz’ legs.

In the first one, star Jake Gyllenhaal goes to Square Town. In the second, he’s walking around Clocksville, USA.

Director Alejandro Agresti (‘The Lake House’) will helm ‘Dictablanda’, which sounds like a furniture line at IKEA.

It’s likely there’ll be no more expensive “old” Angelina Jolie. A cheap young hottie will likely wear two gun holsters and not much else.

Everyone’s excited about Ridley Scott’s ‘Prometheus’, which is why Hasbro wants to spoil the fun and remind you that Scott is still attached to the Monopoly movie.

The title sounds like one of those softcore 80s comedies you’d see while browsing at Blockbuster.

‘GI Joe 2′ and ‘Hugo Cabret’ get release dates from Paramount. The first one they can keep for themselves, thank you.

“Oh my god, there’s gonna be another ‘Bridget Jones’ book and movie,” shrieks your girlfriend.

“Party Down” actor Ken Marino is coming to CBS. Hopefully, it won’t be like when “The State” left MTV for CBS. *Shudders*

‘The Dark Knight’ is Alcon Entertainment’s template for ‘Blade Runner’. Now, if they could only get that ‘Dark Knight’ guy…

Not digging these new posters. They look like someone took perfectly good ‘Thor’ publicity stills and tried to make a few terrible Calvin Klein ads.

Put on your capes and Batman underoos over your jeans, geeks. It’s time to nerd out about Batman’s ride.

Oh, and they’re both Sony films. But that’s it, everybody.

Are you ready for more ‘Mad Max’? Well, ask your local weatherman to make it happen.

I don’t see many musicals, but if I did, I might break out into song about the Broadway musical ‘Rock of Ages’ being Hough’s big new starring role.

Chris Pratt (“Parks and Recreations”) is another laid back, bearded comedian who can pinch hit for Seth Rogen. Rhys Ifans is also in talks to play a role.

Oscar nominee Diane Lane (‘Secretariat’) has been cast in Zack Snyder’s ‘Superman’ reboot, alongside Mr. Britishy Brit winner Henry Cavill as Capeguy himself.

With big stars signed on, Adult Swim’s “Tim & Eric Awesome Show” is planning on taking over the big screen… but what will they do to it, exactly?

Listen up, True Believers. Our secret sources at The Daily Bugle say the villain for Joss Whedon’s ‘The Avengers’ is…

J.R.R. Tolkein fans expect more naming bang for their buck with Peter Jackson’s upcoming epic two-parter, ‘The Hobbit’. Two names may rule us all, but what’ll those sub-headers be?

Director Barry Levinson (‘Wag The Dog’) will tackle current events again with O.K.C., a drama about the Oklahoma City bombing. One of the guys behind ‘Vampires Suck’ is involved.

It’s been confirmed that ‘Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Sea of Monsters’ is officially being worked on. My hands are trembling with excitement as I type this.

It’s a soapy drama that takes place in the swingin’ 60′s, about the lives of sexy stewardesses back when it was okay to call them that. And slap their butts in public.

She sent other ladies home with not so much as a sack of beans, so Tomlinson gets to star alongside Stanley Tucci and Ewan McGregor in the Bryan Singer directed film.

Actors will be asking him for tips now whenever he walks to Pinkberry, cause Hoult just scored another starring role, this time in Summit’s zombie film ‘Warm Bodies’.

A film with aliens, a zombie, and a vampire might also have a Jonah Hill to direct.

Screen Gems is gonna load Capcom’s ‘Devil May Cry’ into the Hollywood Game System and press play, in order to make some serious gold coin.