pixar-brave-abraham-lincoln-vampire-hunter
Abraham Lincoln Now Hunts Vampires And Pixar Movies
Wednesday, March 16 by

‘Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter’ will try to stake Pixar’s ‘The Brave’ at the box office. *Gasps*

shia-labeouf-horns
‘Horns’ May Prove Shia LaBeouf Is The Devil
Wednesday, March 16 by

In ‘Horns’, LaBeouf will play a guy who wakes up from a night of heavy drinking with a pair of horns growing from his head. I’ve had worse hangovers.

liam-neeson-taken
Liam Neeson Has Nothing To Do Besides ‘Taken 2′ After All
Wednesday, March 16 by

The star of ‘Taken’ may not be back to reprise his role in ‘Taken 2′. Maybe sequel co-writer/producer Luc Besson will kidnap Liam Neeson’s daughter until he says “yes?”

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Opposites Jon Hamm and Paul Feig Team-Up For Comedy
Tuesday, March 15 by

As Paula Abdul and a cartoon cat instruct us: opposites attract.

johnny-knoxville
Johnny Knoxville Is Totally Not A ‘Stooge’
Tuesday, March 15 by

The ‘Jackass’ star has backed out of the Farrelly Brothers’ reboot of ‘The Three Stooges’, but may become an official mustache rider instead.

Drew-Barrymore
Shocking News: Drew Barrymore To Direct New Chick Flick
Tuesday, March 15 by

She will direct the film adaptation of Liz Tuccillo’s book ‘How to Be Single’ for New Line, which is one of those multi-story movies like ‘Valentine’s Day’ (groaaaan).

jeff-tremaine
‘Jackass’ Director Jeff Tremaine Thinks Jocks Need Vengeance, Too
Tuesday, March 15 by

Science tells us that the immense popularity of ‘Revenge of the Nerds’ was bound to inspire a film called ‘Revenge of the Jocks’ sooner or later.

janet-jackson
Janet Jackson Gets To Make A Movie Now
Tuesday, March 15 by

The Queen of the Malfunctioning Wardrobe scored a 1-picture deal with Lionsgate. I want to know how nasty it will be.

limpet-linklater
Richard Linklater Wants That Big Cartoon Fish Movie Remake Money
Tuesday, March 15 by

What would get primarily indie filmmaker Richard Linkletter to helm a big budget remake of ‘The Incredible Mr. Limpet’? I’m guessing millions of dollars in worms.

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Johnny Depp About To Cry In ‘Pirates Of The Caribbean 4′ Poster
Monday, March 14 by

Johnny Depp looks a little… concerned in the new poster. Maybe it’s because a burning ship is eventually gonna hit him in the back.

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‘Wrath Of The Titans’ To Face Monstrous New Teen Girl Franchise
Monday, March 14 by

The Kraken was nothing compared to tween girls desperately in need of a new ‘Twilight’. Even so, Warner Bros is acting bravely, pitting their ‘Titans’ against ‘Hunger Games’.

will-forte
Good News For Will Forte Fans: Will Forte Is Getting Work
Monday, March 14 by

Will Forte continues to get jobs, despite the illogical failure of the movie ‘MacGruber’.

yellow-submarine-zemeckis
‘Mars Needs Moms’ Thankfully Drowned Zemeckis ‘Yellow Submarine’
Monday, March 14 by

Like a beloved uncle who hits the sauce too much, Zemeckis has gotten drunk on motion capture technology. Now it looks like he might sober-up and stop putting actors into ping-pong ball suits.

super-8-trailer-clue
Yo Dawg, Heard You Like ‘Super 8′ Clues In Your ‘Super 8′ Clues
Monday, March 14 by

A mysterious viral campaign for a J.J. Abrams project? Impossible.

jennifer-lawrence
Jennifer Lawrence Winnning Dystopian Catfight For ‘Hunger Games’ Lead?
Friday, March 11 by

Every young actress in Hollywood is after the lead in ‘Hunger Games’, based on the first in a series of dystopian novels by Suzanne Collins, that are apparently similar to – what else? – ‘Twilight’.

charlie-sheen-live
Charlie Sheen Bringing His Insanity To Your Home Town
Friday, March 11 by

His touring one-man show is called “Charlie Sheen LIVE: My Violent Torpedo of Truth.” I assume the tour is sponsored by Tiger Blood.

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New ‘Super 8′ Poster Has Super Disorientation Powers
Friday, March 11 by

You saw the trailer, now check out this mysterious poster for a film that’s clearly at the intersection of Abrams Drive and Spielberg Blvd, near What All The Best 80′s Kids Movies Were Like Municipal Park.

charlie-sheen-police
Charlie Sheen’s House Raided By Cops, Which Makes Sense
Thursday, March 10 by

The LAPD are at Charlie Sheen’s house right now. No, they’re not there for the tiger blood.

robocop-loves-fried-chicken-korean-commercial
‘Robocop’ Reboot Hires Non-Cyborg Writer Josh Zetumer
Thursday, March 10 by

Like Robocop’s one-man mission to eliminate crime in Detroit, relatively unknown writer Josh Zetumer has also been given a gargantuan task: write a new version of the it’s-exactly-perfect-as-it-is film ‘Robocop’.

johnny-knoxville-three-stooges
Knoxville To Play Moe For Those ‘Stooges’ The Farrelly Brothers
Thursday, March 10 by

If the Farrelly’s screw this one up, angry Three Stooges fans will not be giving them a hall pass.

jj-abrams
J.J. Abrams Allows ‘Super 8′ Plot To Escape His Hatch Of Mysteries
Thursday, March 10 by

Somewhere, deep below the surface of the earth, there is a heavily guarded vault containing all of J.J. Abrams story secrets… and one just left.

trent-reznor
Trent Reznor And ‘Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter’ Are Not In This Together
Thursday, March 10 by

You know what sounded cool? Trent Reznor writing the music, and acting in, the upcoming ‘Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter’. You know what sucks? That’s not actually happening.

terry_o_quinn
Terry O’Quinn Escapes The Damn Island And Lands In ABC Pilot
Wednesday, March 9 by

ABC cast O’Quinn (‘Lost’) in the new pilot “Hallelujah.” It’s a musical drama from “Desperate Housewives” showrunner Marc Cherry, so if O’Quinn wasn’t in it, I would find a way to anti-TiVO the show.

classic-batman-villains
Will Nolan Cram Yet Another Villain Into ‘Dark Knight Rises’?
Wednesday, March 9 by

Catwoman and Bane might get a new evil roommate in the upcoming Batman film. Someone from “way back.”

cameron-diaz-colin-firth-gambit
CBS Films Distributing ‘Gambit’, Which Is Not About Cajun Mutants
Wednesday, March 9 by

‘Gambit’ stars Cameron Diaz and Colin Firth in a remake of a 1986 British heist film. This is a remake that actually looks promising.

streisand-rogen-my-mothers-curse
Streisand Will ‘Curse’ Us All On March 30th, 2012
Wednesday, March 9 by

The nails-on-chalkboard-annoying actress/singer/person-who-needs-people teams with Seth Rogen for ‘My Mother’s Curse’ for next year.

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New Banksy Drawing Is Oscar Haterade
Wednesday, March 9 by

Someone in the UK could chisel this painting out of the wall, title it “Sour Grapes” and sell it for big bucks.

charlie-sheen-sheens-korner-4
Sheen The Warlock Slays Evil Execs In New Weirdcast
Tuesday, March 8 by

In the new episode of his “Sheen’s Korner” web series, Sheen gave his audience what they wanted: craziness, somewhat higher production values, and more craziness.

ian-mckellen-gandalf
Ian McKellen’s Fancy-Speak Geek-Out Over ‘Hobbit’ 3D
Tuesday, March 8 by

‘Hobbit’ set preview: Gandalf The Well-Bearded had some kind words for the third, headache inducing dimension, as well as leading man Martin Freeman.

sylvester-stallone-the-expendables
Stallone Knocked Himself Out Of ‘Expendables 2′ Director’s Chair?
Tuesday, March 8 by

Fans of explosions and arm-breakings may be upset that Sylvester Stallone will likely not be directing the sequel to his smash-hit brainchild, ‘The Expendables’.