"We stole these from J.J. Abrams."Jonah Hill's 21 Jump Street is inching closer to "thing that may actually happen" status. There's news that Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller are in talks to take the reins. The movie, of course, centers on young cops who go undercover in high schools to prevent teen crimes. No strangers to comedic teen angst, Lord and Miller are also the creators of Clone High, a clever animated series whose untimely cancellation is a crime worse than anything Randy Quaid's wife ever did. Negotiations are in the works but it seems likely the duo will get the gig. After all, Jonah Hill really loves Meatballs. (Variety)
Several news outlets, including TMZ, are reporting that Brittany Murphy passed away this morning due to cardiac arrest. This is especially sad considering the actress was only 32 years old. Murphy was best known for her role as Tai in Clueless, where she got us all rollin' with the homies. You'll be missed, Brittany, so now we offer you one for being our homie these past several years.
Sarah! Your date is here!!Point your hungry eyeballs toward the new Daybreakers poster and feed them its creepiness. Check out the trailer if you don't know about the film's society of vampires plot. But is it really practical to hang upside down while wearing a suit and tie? Gravity would cause them to flop down on your face. That proves it! Double Stick tape is a vampire's best friend.
Those who have long underestimated our TV Culinary Personalities had best to check themselves. It's widely known that Chef Julia Childs once killed a man via headbutt, and Rachel Ray… she just seems like she'd cut a bitch. Now, Martha Stewart has raised her street cred by baking with Snoop Dogg on yesterday's episode of Martha. Watch as Snoop Dizzle and M. Stizzle rap about the special ingredient missing from their brownies. Snoop Dogg will do anything to be on television. The countdown to his eventual Yo Gabba Gabba! appearance begins NOW. (via NY Mag)AUTHOR'S NOTE: Holy sh*t!!!
Prairie dog see, Prairie dog do. This weekend's dramatic links.The History of Boob Jobs (HolyTaco)A Golf Shot Made Down a Winding Staircase (TotalProSports)Sexy Santas (TheChive)15 Inappropriate Posters Redone for the Holidays (MovieFone)Sarah Jessica Parker Kicked by a Cow Open Thread (FilmDrunk)20 Worst Christmas Family Portraits (Manofest)Stephanie Pratt Wears Jackets with No Shirt (Maxim)10 Most Culturally Poisonous Movies of the Aughts (Pajiba)Tiger Woods' Wife Planning to Sleep with Other Golfers (CelebJihad)5 Classic Movies that Were Supposed to be Disasters (Unreality)Best Sexy Model Calendars of 2010 (Asylum)Ingrid Ullrich Looks Good in Black & White (RegretfulMorning)How to Pick Up an Athletic Chick (MadeMan)Top Five Drivers of the Decade (AllLeftTurns)Pothead Chokes to Death (NothingToxic)Best Video of 2009 (Atom)
The Coen Brothers are casting their new film True Grit, and they're looking for a 12-16 year old girl to fill the main role of Mattie Ross. As you'll note on the casting specs, YOU MUST BE A 12-16 YEAR OLD GIRL. It doesn't count if you feel like a 12-16 year old girl on the inside, or like to feel 12-16 year old girls. You must actually BE ONE. Take heed.Get a bigger look at the casting sheet by clicking here.
Jack Bauer Interrogates Santa Claus – Watch more Funny Videos It was only a matter of time before Jack Bauer demanded a sitdown with Santa. You can't expect to land on people's roofs all night and break into their homes without CTU getting a whiff of reindeer poop. But is it Jack who's naughty, Santa? Or is it you? Put that perplexing thought in your candycane pipe and smoke it.
This weekend Survivor: Samoa begins to wind down, Bruce Campbell saves the day, and an elephant gets cut in half.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!
Lawrence is the one on the left.Lawrence Fishburne has been cast as Noland in the Robert Rodriguez produced, Nimrod Antal directed sequel Predators. There isn't info on who this Noland fella is or what he does in the movie, but Fishburne is currently playing him with gusto in Austin, Texas. The rest of the cast includes Topher Grace, Adrien Brody, Walton Goggins, Alice Braga, Danny Trejo, and Walt Goggins. The new installment of the Predator franchise is about a group of humans who find themselves stranded on a planet home to Predators and must survive the horrors they encounter. I can think of no worse place to land than a planet of Predators. Wait, I take that back. A planet of these things would be far more terrifying:(Shudder…)Predators takes over theaters July 9th, 2010.(via BloodyDisgusting)
Look what you're doing to Jack Bauer, Time Warner Cable and FOX! He's whimpering! You've made Mr. 24 himself whimper. For shaaaaaaame.FOX said today that due to a back and forth bitchfest with Time Warner Cable, customers may be unable to see FOX programming next year. That includes House, 24, and American Idol (if you care about singing competitions). According to The Hollywood Reporter:Fox said it has for the past nine months attempted to "negotiate in good faith" with Time Warner Cable, the No. 2 U.S. cable operator, which serves some 14 million customers, and said those talks are ongoing.But there is a "very likely possibility that Time Warner Cable may choose to no longer carry Fox Broadcasting, Fox Cable and Fox regional sports programing," Fox said.Time Warner Cable confirmed that the talks are ongoing but said Fox's current demands "are unreasonable and excessive, especially in this economic climate.""We hope Fox won't punish our customers by taking their programing away while we try to reach an agreement," said spokeswoman Maureen Huff.Hey Time Warner, how about YOU don't punish your customers by pulling the plug on my House stories that I look forward to every week? Nine months should be long enough for two entities to figure out who pisses better. Come up with a number, reach an agreement, and let's get this thing done. The world wants to see Ellen DeGeneres and Simon Cowell fight about the Idol contestants' sexual orientation this Spring!
Steve Carell and Tina Fey can't get enough of one another. Their movie Date Night doesn't open until April, but it now seems they are eyeballing their next project together. Mail-Order Groom is a comedy about a naive woman who ends up with an Eastern European husband. And she'll probably think the food he eats is weird and gross.This is only in the maybe stage right now due to their respective schedules. But wouldn't it be fun if they become an on-screen duo? Like another Steve Martin and Goldie Hawn. Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn. Chunk and Sloth. Would you like that? No?? Whatever. I was just asking on the behalf of a friend anyhow. (THR)
Do you really need more than the headline to press play? Warming Glow found this ad for CrazyDomain and it features Pamela Anderson with another hot chick in bikinis covered in cream. For God's sake, hit play already!These links taste better with some cream on top.Flowchart to Determine if You've Been Naughty or Nice (HolyTaco) Fearless Photographer Snaps Drag Car Crash (TotalProSports) Behind the Scenes with Marissa Miller (TheChive) Hottest Bosses from Movies (Maxim) How Old Dogs Saved Christmas (FilmDrunk) 13 Amazing Caucasian Afros (SuperTremendous) 20 Best Films of the Aughts (Pajiba) Spicy Rihanna Pictures in GQ (CelebJihad) Shaun of the Dead Reunion Photoshoot (Unreality) Tiger Woods Syndrome is Making Wives Suspicious (Asylum) Emily Scott FHM Russia January 2010 (BustedCoverage) 5 Ways to Tip the Pizza Guy if You're Broke (RegretfulMorning) How to Win Any Board Game (MadeMan) This Man Sounds Like an Engine (AllLeftTurns)
Today we receive the fourth and final Kick-Ass poster. This one centers on Hit Girl, the little girl that Nicolas Cage shot in the chest at point blank range. He's a Coppola! He can do whatever he wants!!Buzz around this film is that it is the end-all be-all so don't let this bland Sky High-esque poster throw you off. This one should be well-worth your hard-earned duckets. (IGN)
Get your mind out of the gutter, I obviously meant cat. The new teaser trailer for Shrek Forever After has dropped, and it showcases all the crazy characters we've come to know and love over the previous three films. The question is, will this fourth installment be as unnecessary as the last one? Probably not since anything with a green ogre in it seems to rake in sh*t buckets full of cold, hard cheddar. And this Shrek is in 3D, so Donkey or his poop will probably get flung at us or something. It appears that in Shrek Forever After, what Dreamworks is calling THE FINAL CHAPTER, we're transported to a far far away land called Far, Far Away Land where Shrek has never existed. Donkey doesn't know who he is and Puss is overweight and lazy. Tehe. Husky cats are funny. Shrek Forever After hits theaters May 21st, 2010. Check out the teaser trailer after the jump.
Tonight on Jersey Shore, Snooki learns the importance of a clean clock.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!
Snookie, "The Situation", and Pauly D. from Jersey Shore played The Three Wise Men last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live in a reenactment of The Story of Christmas. It was clear from their performance that "The Situation" still has sick abs, Snookie can't pronounce words correctly, and camels have a taste for Messiah flesh. No one really cares about Pauly D. He should probably assault someone. Jersey Shore Performs the Story of Christmas – Watch more Funny Videos
Bang, bang, development process. Bang, bang. Another day, another Spider-Man 4 news item. IESB is reporting that production of Spider-Man 4 (or Spider-M4N) is being put on hold until the studio and Sam Raimi can work out they sh*t.Apparently Sony hates the idea of the Vulture being the villian. But Raimi wants the Vulture because he's a weirdo who dresses in bizarre suits. Fashion-sense aside, they should listen to Raimi. Especially after the poop burrito that was Spider-Man 3. Granted, the Vulture sucks on paper. But if you leave Raimi to his own devices, he'll certainly find a way to make the character work on screen. And if he doesn't, Sony should be allowed to huck a tennis ball at him as hard as they can. That's how we settle things where I'm from. (IESB)
The first teaser trailer for The Runaways makes me want to disobey my parents, smoke, knock someone's trashcans over, and look at someone like they just totally don't get it. It stars Kristen Stewart as Joan Jett and Dakota Fanning as Cherie Currie of the band, you guessed it, The Runaways. They were kick-ass chicks who didn't take crap from anyone, and they demonstrated this attitude in the songs that they sang. Plus they smoked…a lot. Dangerous! The Runaways premieres at Sundance next month, then hits theaters in March. Watch the teaser for the coming-of-age-biopic of the female rock band below.
Susan Boyle makes her feature film debut. Just in time for Avatar, we have a new Clash of the Titans trailer that absolutely defenestrates subtlety. It's essentially the teaser trailer with all the bells and whistles added. In it we see giant scorpians, Zeus, Hades, sand people, lava, dudes yelling, Medusa, Pete Postlethwaite, Pegasus, those helmets with mohawks on top, and palm eyeballs. But the real spectacle is Liam Neeson's Kraken. It's much larger than rumored. Clash of the Titans damns the Gods on March 26th, 2010. Watch the trailer after the jump.
DIRECTOR: Bryan SingerCAST: TBDSYNOPSIS: The original class of Xavier's School learn to use their powers for the greater good.
Bryan Singer is giving the fans what they want. At last night's Avatar blue carpet premiere, the director announced via live stream that he will be directing X-Men: First Class. The story takes the mutants back to their early days at Xavier's School and away from Brett Ratner's jelly-covered clutches. It's going to be awesome.If they stay true to the comics, the film will preserve the dark tone of the previous films and will not include Wolverine. There's no official word yet on which characters will appear in the film but the original first team was comprised of Angel, Beast, Cyclops, Iceman, Jean Grey, and Professor X. When I was in school nobody had powers. Except for that one kid who could do a Chewbacca impression and that other guy who was unbeatable at Mortal Kombat. (Flickchart via First Showing)
OMG! OMG! OMG! (Heavy breathing) The… Iron… Man… 2… Trailer… Ngah… Ngah… Ngah… Is here! It's got Tony Stark, Nick Fury, Mickey Rourke playing a Russian named Heatrash, wait no, WHIPLASH, and War Machine with Don Cheadle inside of it! Iron Man 2 hits theaters May 7th, 2010. Watch the trailer after the jump while I expel the thick mucus building up in my lungs!
Last night, Snookie and "The Situation" from MTV's the Jersey Shore were "guests" on The Tonight Show. I say guests with a twinge of sarcasm because it wouldn't be unlikely for the two emotional Guidos to crash the talk show, get pissed off that the deli meat tray in the green room didn't have any capicola, and then strut out to the couch to provide Conan with a nick name of his very own. Also, they talk about abdominal muscles.Use these links to work your core.7 Beers That Sound Expensive But Aren't (HolyTaco) Devin Harris Drops Jamario Moon (TotalProSports) Putting the Tail in Tailgating (TheChive) The Time James Cameron Almost Drowned (FilmDrunk) 8 Crappy Christmas Gifts You Wanted (Maxim) 10 Greatest Upskirt Moments in TV History (Manofest) Best Action Flicks of the Aughts (Pajiba) Kourtney Kardashian's Baby Enters Rehab (CelebJihad) The Evolution of Mario (Unreality) Two Dudes Who Have Actually Never Seen Porn (Asylum) Really Hot Italian Track Star/Model (BustedCoverage) Snowplow vs. Snowmen (RegretfulMorning) 5 Romantic Winter Getaways to Get Some (MadeMan) Rick Hendrick is the Godfather (AllLeftTurns) Enormous Chair Throwing Brawl Erupts (NothingToxic) Animated Christmas Specials Remixed (Atom)
Tonight on TV, Jesse "The Body" Ventura wrestles hypocrisy and Kim Kardashian does whatever it is she does.CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMPNOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!
I've heard of a night of wild drinking, but this is ridiculous (Rim shot. Fart.)! The new trailer for Hot Tub Time Machine just materialized and it's got a bit of a retro vibe to it. First of all, John Cusack must be having the biggest mindf*cking of his life after being dropped back in to Better Off Dead. After that wild winter why would he ever want to go back to the slopes? Hot Tub stars Cusack, Rob Corddry, Craig Robinson, and Clark Duke as friends who after a night of drinking Red Bulls and vodkas, and supposedly not playing "let's compare penises" in a whirlpool, travel back to the 80s, where all the people they know in the present are younger, and there are cassette tapes. Holy sh*t! My guess is there will be a ton of jokes based on the fact that things are different in the world now. Fingers crossed there's one about ungroomed pubic hair. Women's businesses be nasty back then. Hot Tub Time Machine materializes in theaters March 19th, 2010. Check out the trailer after the jump.
We all assumed that the Lost series finale would be big but according to Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse it's going to be gimungo. Okay, they didn't use that exact term. Here's what they had to say:"Season 6 will consist of a two-hour season premiere, 13 episodes and a three-hour series finale that will air over two weeks."Is it really a finale if it splits over two weeks? It's more or less the same thing they've been doing every season. Man, season six hasn't even begun yet and they're already jerking us around. I'm so frustrated and feel like I learned to read hieroglyphics for nothing! (via Chicago Tribune)
FX rocks so hard. Almost every show on the network kicks serious ass. Of course there are a few duds, but compared to most networks (which cancel more shows than they keep) FX has a seriously impressive homerun average. Their new series Justified starring Timothy Olyphant looks like another edgy, dirty, whiskey-scented project to add to the roster. Here's the official synopsis: U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens is a modern day 19th century-style lawman, enforcing his brand of justice in a way that puts a target on his back with criminals and places him at odds with his bosses in the Marshal service. That conflict results in a reassignment for Givens to the U.S. District covering the town where he grew up. He is an anachronism – a tough, soft spoken gentleman who finds his quarry fascinating, but never gives an inch. Dig under his placid skin and you'll find an angry man who grew up hard in rural Kentucky, with an outlaw father, who knows a lot more about who he doesn't want to be than who he really is. Look at all that conflict! Not to mention, Walton Goggins, who played Shane on The Shield, stars as a church-bombing, redneck hick. It's the part he was born to play! Justified premieres in March on FX. Check out the preview after the jump.
Network: FXCreator: Graham YostCast: Timothy Olyphant, Walton Goggins, Jeffrey JonesSynopsis: U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens is a modern day 19th century-style lawman, enforcing his brand of justice in a way that puts a target on his back with criminals and places him at odds with his bosses in the Marshal service.
Good God, Johnny Depp, what is wrong with you? Looks like Mama took a bottle of her happy pills and put on some makeup for her rendez-vous with Death. Aces, Tim Burton! You've officially put your stamp on one of the most beloved stories of all time and turned it into a Disney film that's sure to have kids pissing all over their Mickey Mouse bedsheets.
As I reported last week, Peter Jackson and Guillermo del Toro are casting a wide net to find the stars of The Hobbit. Internet rumors then surfaced that contradicted that update. Latino Review claimed that Tobey Maguire would be donning the hairy feet of Bilbo Baggins. Maguire's publicist Kelly Bush has shot those claims down with a resolute "This is false!" Followed by a "boo yeah!" Kelly really isn't very mature. (Movieline)